


When the Time Comes

by djchika



Series: The Wonder Years [1]
Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M, crisscolfer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-25
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2017-11-19 11:23:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 45,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/572732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djchika/pseuds/djchika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darren's life is fucking perfect. He's best friends with an awesome person, he's got the lead in the school play, he's popular, he's top of his class. He might even get the girl.</p><p>Too bad he doesn’t know what he wants.</p><p>-</p><p>Chris' life sucks. He's the school loser, he's struggling in class, he has more trauma than he knows what to do with and life seems to go out of its way to fuck him over.</p><p>Worst of all he's in love with his best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Crisscolfer!High School AU. Because there aren't enough Crisscolfer AUs out there.
> 
> All my thanks to my wonderful betas, Liz, Meg and Lisa!

The sound of locker doors slamming was a comforting cacophony helping drown out Chris’ thoughts. Lunch was always a noisy affair but the upcoming weekend had most of the student population buzzing with excitement making the droning sound of gossip and mindless chatter even louder than usual.

Doing his best to avoid getting bulldozed over by overzealous teenagers, Chris made his way to his locker, putting together a list of things he was going to need for the afternoon. Tension was twisting his stomach into knots but he didn’t need to think about that now. He needed to think about his classes.

 _Two essays, one lab experiment, rehearsals afterward,_ he checked off in his head as he dialed the combination and forced the rusty door open.

On autopilot, he switched out the books from his morning classes and picked out the ones he was going to need for the afternoon. By the time Chris had his books in order, the noise had died away leaving him alone with his thoughts once more.

Chris swallowed and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Lunch time was always the worst for him. Memories of walking into the cafeteria amidst stares and whispers were still fresh in his mind. Of taunts and jeers that never quite seemed to fade away.

He closed his eyes, and forced himself to relax but his head swam with memories of a seventh grade party that had gone completely awry.  Stacy Altman had thrown Chris under the bus and accused him of being gay because of a botched attempt at Seven Minutes in Heaven and when Chris’ stammering defense solidified her accusation, Stacy made sure to work the rumor mill over time. By Monday, the whole school had heard the news and his classmates made sure Chris knew it too.

Chris breathed in, his heart hammering quickly in his chest. He could practically smell the sharp sting of disinfectant coupled with the more familiar scent of soap. He didn’t remember running out of the cafeteria the following day, didn’t remember twisting the lock on the janitor’s closet or the hours he had spent in the dark refusing to come out, but he did remember the smell.

Fucking typical that he of all people would carry middle school trauma right into high school.

The sudden slam of a body against the locker next to Chris’ made him tighten his grip on his locker door.  A boy his age, with curly hair haphazardly trapped under a beanie grinned at him as if voluntarily body-slamming lockers was an ordinary occurrence.

Despite his surprise, Chris could already feel the knots in his stomach uncoil. After all, he was used to Darren’s all too enthusiastic approach at everything. It was the same easy feeling he got around Darren from the moment they met.

They were five when Chris, newly moved in and expectedly timid, was plowed down by the same curly-haired bundle of energy. Darren’s family had moved in a few months before his and the two had developed an inseparable bond borne out of being the new kids on the block.

That was Darren’s version of the story. Darren’s mom on the other hand liked to say that Darren   
took one look at Chris and hadn’t stopped following him like a lost puppy since. Whichever version held the most truth, Chris was grateful to have Darren in his life. It was Darren who had found him that day in seventh grade. Coaxed him out and took his hand, refusing to let go as he walked Chris back to class.

He shook away the thought and grinned over at his best friend. “Why do you always look like you just rolled out of bed, Darren?” Chris teased, extracting more books from his locker before closing it. He needed to drop by the student paper office after fifth period which meant he wouldn’t have time to swing by.

Darren didn’t miss a beat. “I apologize if my ensemble offends you. I see you’re dressed in the latest of Target’s winter couture.”

Chris looked down at his outfit. He was wearing a striped v-neck shirt, dark jeans and a light jacket which admittedly did come from Target. Chris eyed the hoodie Darren was wearing; it was the same one they had bought together. Also at Target.

“You’re very hobo chic yourself,” Chris replied haughtily. “Did you even comb your hair at all?”

“Hey, is that any way to talk to your best friend?” Darren reached into his backpack and produced a bottle in a paper bag. “Who, you’ll be fucking ecstatic to know, smuggled your preferred contraband from under the very keen eyes of our new principal? No junk food policy be damned!”

Chris’ eyes lit up with delight. He grabbed the bag and shoved it quickly into his own backpack.

“I take it back,” Chris said “You, sir, are a GQ model.”

“Damn straight! I am the perfect male specimen. I would fucking rock your world.” Darren swung his arm around Chris shoulders and led them both down the hall to the cafeteria.

“You’re a regular prince charming,” Chris added dryly, stepping away from Darren slightly in the guise of getting something from his backpack.

Although he would never admit it the announcement of the cast list for their spring production of Little Mermaid still left a bitter taste in his mouth. Darren was cast as Prince Eric but he, on the other hand, had been cast as Mersibling #2 - a part that promised little challenge and a lot of blending into the background.

 Chris was happy for his best friend, he honestly was. He just wished that it would be as easy for him to get parts as it seemed to be for Darren.

Picking up on the sudden shift in his mood, Darren stopped and turned to face him, his eyes staring directly into Chris’. “Hey, you’re amazing, you know that, right? Better than anyone else, even me. It’s this stupid school and our stupid drama teacher who can’t see great talent when it’s right in front of them.”

The earnestness in his best friend’s eyes caused a fluttering in Chris’ stomach which he immediately clamped down. Besides, they both knew that was an outright lie. Mr. Alistair their drama teacher was actually pretty good to Chris; it wasn’t his fault that Chris didn’t fit into any of the roles in their limited high school theater repertoire.

And it certainly wasn’t Darren’s fault that they recognized how well he’d fit into the role.

“Don’t sell yourself short. You are perfect for Prince Eric,” Chris told him in full honesty.

Chris pushed Darren away playfully when Darren ducked his head and blushed. It was just like Darren to dole out compliments to everyone then hide when one was directed at him.

“Besides,” Chris said with a flick of his hand, “between swaying in the background and having to kiss Alicia Benson, I think I’d prefer to sway in the background.”

Darren laughed, “Your loss, man. I hooked up with her at Brandon’s party during freshman year. She’s actually a pretty good kisser.”

Right. “Well, that was definitely an image I don’t want in my head.”

“If you’ve got it flaunt it, sister.” Darren did a snap-snap causing Chris to break into giggles.

Darren beamed at him, arm falling back over Chris’ shoulders as they neared their destination.

Involuntarily, Chris’ jaw clenched at the sight of the cafeteria doors, tension already seeping back into his body. His mom’s voice echoed in his head. “ _In and out, Christopher. Remember to exhale.”_

 _Man the fuck up, Colfer,_ he berated himself.

“Did you know Queen Elizabeth II was the only girl in her family to actually serve in their army?”

Darren’s non-sequitur broke into Chris thoughts, giving him something to focus on. Something in his chest gave a tug. As ADD as Darren pretended to be he was also damn perceptive, especially when it came to Chris.

“All the others were only given honorary ranks.” Chris supplied, “She was the only one who actually earned it.”

Darren shook his head and leaned in close, his eyes twinkling in mirth and admiration as the noise of the cafeteria engulfed them. “Someday I’m going to know something about the English monarchy that you don’t and I will demand scones and crumpets as my reward.”

Chris rolled his eyes at Darren fondly. His best friend may be crazy but he was glad to have him.

\----------

The bell was still echoing in the halls when Chris reached the door to the school paper’s office. Chris paused to pick up the suggestions box before barreling through the door, aiming an apologetic smile at Ashley, the editor of the student paper, who was glaring at him from her own table.

“Boo, I love you, I do, but if you think you’re spending the first Friday back in this dinky office, you’ve got another thing coming.”

“I’m only here to grab a couple of things. I have play rehearsals anyway.” Chris said in rush. He didn’t point out that Ashley was there to work herself.

“You work too hard, Christopher.” Ashley told him, removing her glasses and watching him rifle through his desk. “I bet there are a dozen gay honeys wanting to tap that luscious ass of yours.”

“If you find that imaginary needle in your clearly delusional haystack, send them my way.” He grabbed the folio he was looking for and stuffed it into his bag.

Ashley nodded towards the box on his table. “Anything good?”

Chris eyes fell on the submission box.  He hadn’t received one submission all school year but hey, miracles happened.

He flipped open the lid, his eyes widening when he saw a slip of paper at the bottom. He grabbed it excitedly, wondering what kind of masterpiece it could contain. He needed material and he needed it badly. As much as he enjoyed writing he couldn’t fill the magazine with just the stuff he wrote. At this point, he was close to doing something drastic like blackmailing the student body to write for the magazine.

Chris opened the folded piece of paper and deflated at the contents. He really should have expected the vulgar drawing by now. It was anger that coursed through him as he crumpled up the piece of paper and threw it into the trash.

He slammed the box shut and whirled around to face Ashley, shoulders squared and a determined set to his jaw. “In the meantime, I’m going to focus on making sure I get out of this stupid town.”

Ashley tipped her eyeglasses at him in a mock-salute.  “One more year, Boo, and then it’s you, me, LA, and hundreds of hunky gay men hanging on our every word.”

\----------

By the end of the day Chris was tired, hungry, and he still had an hour or two of rehearsals to attend. Normally he’d be excited for rehearsals but he couldn’t shake the frustration that threatened to overwhelm him.

A pronunciation exercise in French had him paired up with star quarterback and small-minded homophobe, Ken. Chris had spent the hour gritting his teeth and forcing himself to take the high road while Ken and his friends made fun of him.

It would have been fine if Chris hadn’t snapped at them right before the bell rang. In retaliation, one of Ken’s buddies purposely slammed into Chris before he left the room, knocking him to the floor.

And while it didn’t really hurt, it still made Chris feel small and helpless which in some ways was even worse.

\----------

“Welcome to our first day of rehearsals!” A tall boy in a dark long sleeved shirt stood in front of the group, looking for all the world like the pretentious douche that he was.

Darren liked everybody, and he was able to say that most people liked him in return, but there was something about the guy that rubbed him the wrong way. Maybe it was the never ending black, or maybe it was the really, really douchey way he pronounced _artiste_ or maybe it was the way he kept side eyeing Darren whenever he was with Chris. Whatever the reason, their production manager, Nick, was most definitely at the top of Darren’s personal Time’s 100 douchiest people.

“Before we start the reading, I’d like to congratulate our cast and also extend my deepest gratitude to our stage management staff. Cathy and the girls were here for most of the break to help us prepare for today’s rehearsals.”

He gestured to the three girls next to him and Darren wolf-whistled while the others gave a short round of applause.

They were back in the drama room where four long tables had been pushed together so that all the actors and necessary staff were seated conference room style. Chris sat beside Darren guzzling down his Diet Coke which had been transferred to a more generic bottle.

He elbowed Chris when he saw Cathy eyeing the container. She was above reporting Chris to the principal for drinking soda but she wasn’t above reprimanding him for bringing in colored drinks into their rehearsal space. There had been one too many incidents of juice and soda spilling on the carpet, the cleaning of which had been charged to the drama club.

Chris tucked the drink away with a placating smile at Cathy who nodded in appreciation at him.

“They’ll be handing out your scripts and our final production schedule.” Nick continued, “Please remember that we are on a very tight budget and if you lose your scripts, you will be tasked to replace them.” He glared at each one of the cast and staff as if daring them to complain. When none reacted, he motioned to their student director, a shorter blonde boy in a plain polo shirt named Ed who stood up to speak.

Excitement bubbled inside Darren, making him want to bounce on his toes. If he wasn’t sitting he probably would have started bouncing up and down just to have an outlet for his nervous energy. As it was he didn’t notice he was running his hands up and down his pants until Chris grabbed the one closest to him to still it.

“Sorry,” Darren whispered, lacing his fingers with Chris’ and squeezing his hand. He could pretend to be annoyed at Darren all he wanted but Darren knew Chris was just as excited to start rehearsals. Even if he hadn’t gotten the part he wanted.

Chris tugged his hand away and Darren made a disappointed noise but didn’t try to get Chris hand back. It was stupid that after all these years Chris still had a thing about Darren being too touchy with him around their classmates. Who cared if anyone thought they were together? Anyone would be lucky to date Chris. Not that they were dating, but if they were then Darren would be one lucky bastard.

Besides, everyone knew he was a handsy fucker. Personal boundaries were something Darren had never quite learned. He admitted it led to a lot of misread signals and questions about his sexuality but Darren didn’t care either way. He had learned early on not to care about what people thought, for both his and Chris’ sake.

Sometimes though, Darren wondered if it would be different if he had grown up in a different town, a different city where people didn’t care who you loved as long as you were nice and good to people.

“Disney’s The Little Mermaid.” Cathy’s voice echoed loud and clear in the small space. Darren’s head snapped towards the head of the table and he scrambled to open his script to follow the reading.

His first few lines came out stilted and unnatural but after the fifth or sixth line, Darren relaxed into the character, working in some of the nuances he had already started building in his head.

Slipping into the Prince Eric was easy. The need to look for things that were beyond reach, the yearning for something bigger than what was available, these were all at the heart of every teenager. For Darren, the desire was so big sometimes that it physically hurt to think he might not get everything he wanted no matter how hard he worked.

Darren knew Chris felt the same way. They had conversations about life after high school, life that wasn’t constrained to white walls and beige lockers with classmates who both boys liked to think were inherently good, but could also be mean in their small-mindedness.

“I think your princess is trying to catch your attention,” whispered Chris beside him.

From across the table, Alicia was smiling brightly at him which Darren returned with a smile of his own. She was a small girl with long blonde hair framing big eyes and delicate features which belied the fact that she was far from delicate.

He had been witness to one too many shouting matches between her and various student directors to truly believe that there was anything delicate about Alicia. She was the best actress their high school had seen in years and she didn’t have a problem using that fact to her advantage. While Darren didn’t agree with her methods (his mother always said you catch more flies with honey than vinegar) he had to admire her spirit.

Darren flipped through the succeeding pages just to make sure he didn’t have any lines before leaning towards Chris. “You think I should ask her to run lines with me sometime after school?” he whispered back.

Chris scoffed. “What lines? She’s mute during most of your scenes together.”

“Yeah,” Darren leaned in closer, “But as actors it’s important to inject verisimilitude into our roles and what better way to do that than to-

“Get your mack on with your hot co-star?” Chris interrupted him.

“Exactly.” Darren gave him a toothy grin which Chris pointedly ignored choosing to listen to the other actors instead.

Leaning back on his chair, Darren resisted the urge to pester Chris. They were going through the underwater scenes and although Darren didn’t have any lines in them, Chris did. More than once, Chris had the room rolling with laughter after a nondescript line was made into something dry and witty through his delivery.

It was vastly unfair to Darren that the talent Chris had in droves was wasted on bit parts when he could be so much more. For once there had been a chance for that in this year’s production. Even Mr. Alistair had admitted that the role of Flounder would have suited Chris, but it had been given to a freshman due to a new policy that required equal representation from all levels in the cast.

Upset on Chris behalf, Darren had raged, and would have told the school exactly where they could shove all their stupid new policies if Chris hadn’t stopped him.

When the scene shifted to focus on the underwater leads Darren allowed his mind to wander while making sure to keep an eye on the script. He was doing his best to focus but he was still feeling the after effects of two weeks spent doing nothing.

Christmas was his favorite holiday and this year was particularly special since his brother, Chuck, had been away at college for most of the year. The two of them were as close as two brothers could get and Chuck being so far away was an adjustment that Darren wasn’t all that happy to make.

Still, having Chuck home for the holidays was better than nothing. And if Darren and Chris had to heavily persuade him (blackmailed, Chuck would insist) to perform a childhood rendition of Jingle Bell Rock during the Criss’ and Colfer’s joint Christmas dinner, well, it was for old time’s sake after all.

Darren chuckled at the memory and was about to poke Chris to remind him of it but the scene had already circled back to Prince Eric’s first meeting with the now land-locked Ariel.

After a solid hour, the first read through ended with Cathy reading the last of the stage directions. There was a smattering of applause, quick reminders from both Ed and Cathy, and then the familiar sound of chatter filled the room.

Chris shoved his script into his bag before turning towards Darren. “I’ll meet you in the parking lot, I promised Cathy I’d talk to her about helping out with the set requirements.”

Darren furrowed his brows. Was he insane? Chris was already president of the Writer’s Club, was practically running the school literary magazine by himself, was part of the speech and debate team and had just been made captain of Destination ImagiNation during the start of the year. There was no way he had enough time to help with the sets as well.

Before Darren could open his mouth, Chris was already half-way across the room walking towards Cathy. Darren shook his head, he knew better than to say anything anyway. Chris would only remind him of the fact that he was part of a couple hundred clubs as well.

Darren shouldered his backpack, ready to head out when Alicia stepped in front of him blocking his path.

“Darren,” Alicia looked up at him through her eyelashes, a smile curving her lips. “I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me tonight? You know, get to know each other better.” She put on a mock-serious face, her eyes twinkling. “For the play of course.”

“Of course,” Darren echoed an easy smile slipping on his face as well.

Alicia scribbled something on a post-it and handed it to Darren. “Here’s my number and my address. Pick me up at 7? I read that new Japanese place was pretty good.”

Darren’s brain took a second to catch up to the niggling sensation at the back of his head. Food Review. School paper. Literary magazine. Shit.

“Oh!” He smacked himself on the forehead and immediately regretted doing it because, fuck, that hurt. “I can’t. I promised Chris I’d help him do the layouts for the literary magazine.”

Alicia’s disappointment was visible for only a fraction of a second before her smile was back full force. “That’s okay, sometime next week then?” She placed a lingering hand on Darren’s arm before walking away a faint smile still on her lips.

Darren’s smile grew as he watched her leave with a couple of friends. He thrust his hands into his pants’ pocket to keep himself from doing something stupid. Like a fist pump. As it were he may have high fived an unsuspecting freshman on the way to the car.

He still had a goofy smile on his face when Chris joined him fifteen minutes later.

“Sorry, it took longer than expected.” Chris slid into the passenger seat, shoving his backpack between Darren’s bag and his ever present guitar on the backseat. There might also have been a couple of shirts, a gym bag and his old violin stashed in there somewhere. The mess was one of the reasons Chris preferred taking his car when they carpooled. His baby was at the shop though which meant that they had to make do with Darren’s old Mercedes.

“I swear,” Chris yanked violently at the seatbelt causing it to lock. Darren chuckled as Chris visibly swallowed down a growl. He took a deep breath and pulled on the seatbelt with less force. Darren waited for him to snap it on before rolling out of the already deserted parking lot. “Cathy and Nick would have happily done my homework for the year just to get me to help with the sets.”

“I’m always happy to help.” Darren offered. He liked working with his hands, it was part of the reason he had learned so many instruments growing up. It didn’t matter if it was pounding out music or just plain pounding a nail in with a hammer, Darren enjoyed every bit of it.

“I told them I can get you to say yes to anything, but Nick said you’d probably be too busy with rehearsals.”

“Are you calling me easy, Colfer?”

Chris laughed, light and melodic, making Darren smile as well. There was something about Chris’ laugh that set Darren at ease. Like nothing in the world could possibly go wrong as long as he could still make Chris laugh.

Darren turned a corner and the post-it he stuck on his dashboard fluttered, catching Chris’ eye. He quirked an eyebrow at Darren who couldn’t stop himself from grinning like a fool again.

“Alicia asked me out,” Darren said simply.

“I’m impressed. A senior. You’ve really come up in this world. So when’s the big date?”

“She said something about next week,” Darren fibbed. It wasn’t really a lie, Alicia did say they should go out next week, but Chris didn’t need to know about Alicia’s original invitation. If he did he’d probably claim that he didn’t need Darren’s help after all.

The truth was, Darren didn’t mind spending time helping Chris. Chris was always fun to hang out with and it was no different from the numerous times in his life when Chris had gone above and beyond the call of best friend duty for Darren.

His mind flashed back to the time Chris spent two months tutoring Darren and bringing him his school work after a failed attempt at a back flip on a trampoline ended with Darren breaking his leg.

A flush crawled up his neck at the memory. There were moments during those two months that Darren wasn’t proud of. He was on the honor roll and the approval of his parents had meant so much to him that the thought of his grades slipping because of a stupid trick made him angry and frustrated. So angry and frustrated that he had taken it out on Chris on more than one occasion.

Their fights usually ended with Chris walking out, but he was always there the next day a scowl on his face until Darren offered some sort of silent apology which included Darren’s face tucked against Chris shoulder, pouting at him meekly like a scolded puppy.

It was one of the many times that Darren felt like Chris got the short end of the best friend stick when he decided to have Darren as his best friend.

In the silence, Darren turned his head towards Chris. The look he was giving him meant that he knew something was up. Jesus, some actor Darren was.

“So, set making schedule? What kind of child labor laws will Cathy and Nick be breaking this year?” he asked in hopes of distracting Chris.

Chris eyes still held a touch of suspicion but thankfully he let Darren change the topic. “Oh God, yes, it’s insane. They’re completely understaffed and I have no idea how they’re planning to do it all but hopefully I’ll get a clue when I meet Cathy during study hall tomorrow. And have you seen the staff list? There are even less people there than last year!”

Darren listened to Chris’ rants, made sympathetic noises and laughed in all the right places. It was the least he could do for his best friend, after all.

\----------

That night, after a grueling hour and a half of working with Chris on the literary magazine and another half hour convincing Chris over celebratory ice cream that even if he wanted to he didn’t know how to write something worth publishing (“You write songs,” Chris had insisted. “It’s practically the same thing!”), Darren was finally at home and debating going through his script again or doing some advanced reading for his classes. Once rehearsals really started, he’d have less time to study and do schoolwork.

The loud buzzing of his phone was a welcome distraction. Squirming across the bed, he stretched to reach his phone, too tired to get up properly. He almost dropped it twice before finally grabbing it off the table.

 **From Alicia** : Next Friday night at Joe’s? We don’t have rehearsals because of the assembly.

 **From Darren** : Sounds good. :)

 **From Alicia:** Pick me up at 7 and don’t be late.

Darren threw his phone on the table and flopped back down on his bed smiling from ear to ear. Awesome. His life was awesome.


	2. Chapter 2

Darren picked at his cheese fries and made a disgusted face at the congealing mess. He was surprised they even served it at all. If this shit wasn’t junk he didn’t know what was. Darren contemplated going back to the cafeteria and getting something else to eat but his body protested at the thought of moving from the spot of sunshine he had found.

It was a beautiful day outside and he and Chris had decided to take their lunch out to the back steps of the school, the sun enveloping their bodies in glorious warmth.

Well, Darren decided that he wanted to eat outside, Chris was less than enthusiastic but indulged him. Anything was better than the never ending noise of the cafeteria. Besides, it was the first time they were able to have lunch together in weeks.

“How is it possible that I feel like I haven’t seen you in a month?” Darren asked, “We live next door to each other. We carpool to school every other day.”

“Because I’ve been spending my mornings at the literary magazine, lunch period making sets and afternoons at rehearsals while you’ve been…” Chris peered at him over his sunglasses, “I actually don’t know what you’ve been doing.”

It was a testament to how busy their schedules were that Chris wasn’t aware of every little thing Darren did. Darren had a thing for texting Chris everything that happened in his life but lately, it was like he didn’t even have time for that.

“Maybe it’s for the best. It’s disgusting how co-dependent we’ve become,” Chris continued, stealing one of Darren’s fries. “Did you know that people have been treating me like your personal GPS? I was tempted to tape a sign on my own back saying ‘I don’t know where the fuck Darren is. I am not his fucking keeper’.”

Darren adjusted his own pink sunglasses, before tilting his face up to the sun. He was enjoying the sunlight but didn’t want the migraine that was sure to come if they accidentally slipped off.

“I’ve been basically doing the same thing except replace literary magazine with my AP classes and making sets with meetings with all the other clubs I signed up for during the start of the year. Tell me again why we do this to ourselves?”

“Because what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger and if we want to get out of this cow town we need to be strong. Bull-like even.”

Darren chewed on another fry. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a cow. Or a bull.”

“I think they have a yearly rodeo a few towns over. You and Alicia can turn it into a road trip.”

“Nah. I told you, we decided we were better off as friends. She’s cool but also kinda scary.”

His date with Alicia had been fun. She was awesome and hot and Darren had learned a lot about her. He learned the little things, like her love for sushi and her favorite movies. He also learned the big things, like her dream of becoming a movie actress and that she didn’t plan to go to college.

Darren, in turn, told her a little bit about his family and about how he still didn’t know where he wanted to apply for college. It wasn’t because he didn’t know what he wanted to do; it was more of because he wanted to do everything. He told her that Chris would always tell him to listen to his own heart but Darren would always get caught up in everyone else’s advice anyway.

While they were in the car and heading home from Joe’s, Darren also told her a little bit about his last girlfriend, Belinda, but hadn’t wanted to expound.

“Belinda was a bitch,” Alicia said, no nonsense. Darren couldn’t help barking out a laugh at her straightforwardness. “I heard one of her friends talking about you guys in the bathroom. I didn’t believe a word of it,” She reassured him when Darren bristled. “Honestly, I didn’t think Chris was the type.”

“And I am?”

“No, not really. You’re too sweet.” Alicia smiled at him kindly, “Which is why I’m giving you an out.”

“What?”

Alicia turned to face him. “I don’t want a relationship and you seem like the type who does, or at least, the type who’s going to call or text me right after this because it’s the right thing to do even though neither of us are really feeling the spark,” she raised her hand when Darren started to object, “Don’t deny it, Darren. You’re going to stick it out for the next three dates or whatever you think is an acceptable number of dates to really give us a chance, but not too many that I start falling for you.”

Alicia laughed at his stunned expression. “We have enough chemistry to give Ariel and Prince Eric an epic love story, but I think you and I are going to be okay with just being friends.” She tugged at the arm of Darren’s shirt, teasingly. “C’mon, technically we’re still on a date so you should buy me dessert.”

Darren was surprised but grateful at her candor. It was new and refreshing. Complete honesty was something he only expected from his family and Chris.

The sound of Chris’ cell phone broke into his thoughts. He trained his gaze on Chris whose relaxed smile had turned into a frown while he read the text.

Chris picked up the folder he had been using as a placemat and gave Darren an apologetic smile. “I need to run this by Ms. Cabot before it can go to the printers. She wants to at least pretend she’s moderating the school publications even though Ashley and I decide on everything anyway. See you at rehearsals?”

“Only if you promise to get pizza on Friday,” Darren said. He grabbed his container of fries and Chris’ leftovers and pitched them at a nearby garbage can.

“You’re going to rehearsals whether we get pizza or not,” Chris said. He handed over Darren’s backpack and then shouldered his own.

They walked up the stairs and down the deserted hallway. There was still a good quarter of an hour left. Enough time for Darren to make a detour to the teacher’s longue with Chris.

“But this way I have something to look forward to after another grueling day under Dictator Ed,” Darren shook his head sadly, “He used to be such a nice guy too.”

“If you guys didn’t give him such a hard time then maybe he wouldn’t be such a hard ass on all of you.” Chris replied. “Weren’t you supposed to drop scripts this week?”

Darren beamed at him, “I am proud to say that I have every one of my lines memorized.”

“And the songs?” Chris asked, giving Darren a knowing look.

“Those not so much,” Darren admitted, “But I’m a genius, I wrote the lyrics at the back of my hand so all I need to do is raise my hand like so,” He raised a hand as if to gesticulate dramatically, “And I have an easy cheat sheet.

Chris chuckled, “I cannot wait to watch that backfire on you.”

\----------

Two days later and Chris was back to spending his days inside the theater, adding last minute touches to the sets. Most of the construction of the big set pieces had been finished on schedule and had already been assembled. Now they were working on putting together the smaller set pieces and adding the details.

He was repainting some of the pieces that had been damaged during the move when he heard his phone buzz from across the stage. Chris would have ignored it if it hadn’t buzzed two more times, earning him an annoyed glance from Nick who was in the middle of an intense conversation with Cathy.

Chris quickly walked over to his bag near the back of the stage. He dropped down next to it, grabbed his phone and unlocked the screen. He wasn’t at all surprised to see it was Darren who had been texting him.

 **From Darren:** Christina is having lunch with Jared.

 **From Darren:** What is with that???

 **From Darren:** I thought she was going out with Brian.

 **From Chris:** Did you randomly decide you were going to masquerade as a 12 year old girl today?

 **From Darren:** Okay, so I don’t really care who she’s dating, I just needed a reason to text you.

 **From Chris:** You’re insane.

 **From Darren:** What? I miss my best friend.

 **From Chris:** I just saw you this morning.

 **From Darren:** Yeah, but I was half asleep and you were busy doing that mental check list thing you do.

 **From Chris:** I don’t have a mental check list thing.

 **From Darren:** Yes, you do. I’ve been watching you do it every morning while you drive. I thought you were having a stroke or something but then I realized you were nodding to yourself and filing things away like a fucking robot.

 **From Chris:** Shut up.

 **From Darren:** Oh, gross! Now they’re making out in the lunch room. That is not hygienic.

 **From Chris:** Darren, face the other way and eat your lunch.

 **From Darren:** But the cheerleaders are to my right and they’re still giving me the stink eye.

 **From Chris:** Yeah, why is that? You still haven’t told me why you and Belinda broke up.

 **From Darren:** No idea. Oh look, Mrs. Cambert has a new hat.

 **From Chris:** You are so fucking weird.

 **From Darren:** Your fault for leaving me by my lonesome.

 **From Chris:** You’re eating alone?

 **From Darren:** Yes. Well, no, I’m with Alicia and a couple of the others. But it’s weird having lunch without you.

 **From Chris:** Co-dependency is not a good thing, Darren.

 **From Darren:** Hell, yeah, I’m a sassy black woman who don’t need no man.

 **From Darren:** Except you. I need you.

 **From Darren:** Don’t forget our pizza date on Friday!

 **From Chris:** Dweeb.

Chris smiled to himself, putting his phone on silent before pocketing it. He was glad to have been given a reprieve from spending his lunch hours with Darren’s friends. He liked them enough individually but the whole bunch of them together was a little too much.

The sound of footsteps, made Chris look up. It was Cathy with a Diet Coke in one hand and a bottle of apple juice in the other. She sat down next to him and handed him the Diet Coke.

“Thanks,” Chris said, taking the bottle. He took a long drink, which he realized too late probably wasn’t a good idea considering he hadn’t had lunch yet. He grimaced as the heavy liquid hit his empty stomach. “Not that I’m complaining but what happened to ‘no colored drinks’ inside the theater?”

“Fuck the rules,” Cathy replied causing Chris to choke out a laugh. She was glaring openly at Nick who was busy typing away on his laptop.

She turned back to him, her face softening to a smile. “It’s the least I could do. If it weren’t for you, Tony, and the girls, I’d be flunking out of half of my classes. The girls would probably be here right now if I hadn’t forced them to go on their sophomore class trip. You guys are awesome, you know that?”

Chris leaned against the wall, gazing out at the empty theater. “I like it here actually. There’s no noise, no drama. It’s just you and the stage.”

“It feels sacred doesn’t it?” Cathy asked, “Just wait until everything’s done. The first time you walk into the theater with everything in place, knowing that you had a hand in transforming a blank canvas into this whole new world,” she breathed out a contented smile on her face, “There’s nothing like it.”

Chris contemplated her words. The theater to him was all about the stage. About dialogue and movement and the audience. Although he knew they were an integral part of the play, he had never really thought that the rest of the theater staff might feel the same kind of fire that the actors felt when they were performing.

“I come in here to think sometimes,” she shared, “when the drama of actually being in the drama club gets to be too much. I love you guys, I really do, but sometimes I prefer the quiet of the empty theater than the rehearsal room. Actors can be a handful.” Cathy glanced at him, cocking her head a little. “Not you though.”

Chris smiled at her, knowing she wouldn’t have said it if she didn’t mean it. “Thank you.”

“A couple of us are getting together this weekend at my house to swim and chill out. I’ve been saying that it’s to make props but really, I just want to distance myself from all these egos for a weekend. You should come.”

Chris opened his mouth to automatically decline. He couldn’t remember the last time someone who wasn’t Darren or Ashley had asked him to hang out.

Sensing his hesitation, Cathy said, “I know you’re not exactly the social type but I can be pretty persistent. When you’re lucky people come into your life and refuse to take no for an answer. Even when they make you want to pull your hair out half the time.” She added, now scowling at Nick.

Chris laughed lightly thinking again of Darren and Ashley.

“I’m not taking no for an answer,” Cathy said, bumping her shoulder playfully against Chris’.

“I’ll be there,” Chris finally agreed.

Cathy got up and offered her hand to help Chris do the same. They both walked back to the sets, ready to get back to work. “Good. You can bring Darren if you want, but just Darren.” Cathy threatened, a paint brush pointed at him.

He crossed his own paint brush over his heart, careful not to splash himself with paint. Chris could feel his palms sweating with the idea of going to the party by himself but he remembered what he told Darren about co-dependency. He had been joking at the time but maybe it would be nice to have his own circle of friends.

\----------

In the lunch room, Darren was trying his best not to sulk when he fired off another text to Chris but didn’t get a reply.

He refocused his attention on the conversation that was happening between his friends. The others were hanging on to Alicia’s every word, their lunches forgotten.

“If you’re going to be doing this then you have to do it right. That’s why I’m having my hair dyed this weekend.”

Darren made a face at her. “You’re going to what?”

“I’m not going to wear a wig,” Alicia told him, “It’ll take away from the sincerity of my performance. And I need to be able to really own being a red head, so I might as well do it now.”

Darren thought she was insane. That was kind of crazy, changing something about yourself for a part. Right?

“D, you need to think about what you’re going to do with your hair,” one of the girls next to Alicia said.

“What’s wrong with my hair?” Darren tugged at his hair, suddenly self-conscious.

“Nothing now,” another girl added, “But c’mon, you’re supposed to be a prince.”

“There are things you need to sacrifice for you art,” Alicia said. “If you want people to believe that you’re serious about acting then you need to be the part.”

Alicia gave him a warm smile. “Look, if you decide that you want to do this, come with me on Saturday. Trust me. You’re going to look amazing.”

He nodded at her which seemed to appease Alicia. Darren stared down at his lunch wondering it suddenly felt like the decision felt a lot bigger than just a haircut.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My usual thank to my lovely betas, Liz, Meg and Yumi.
> 
> This chapter is a little shorter but something finally happens. Yay!

“I don’t know about you, but I am ready to officially end this school week,” Darren announced as soon as he was within hearing distance from Chris.

Darren stared down at the mountain of papers that littered the space Chris had made for himself while rehearsals were ongoing. He was still busy scribbling something on his notebook and wasn’t paying attention to Darren. He poked the toe of his shoe at the papers and made a face at Chris, who made a face back at him but didn’t stop writing.

It was a good thing that during rehearsals if Chris wasn’t in a scene, Darren was. Given the chance, Darren would have insisted that Chris stop working for two seconds and knowing his best friend Chris would have surely resisted. The resulting argument would have earned him everyone’s ire, including Nick’s.

Nick who seemed to be always glaring in Darren’s general direction. What the hell was wrong with that guy?

Darren resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at Nick, choosing to help Chris instead who had started to clean up his stuff.

“Cathy invited me over Saturday,” Chris said, taking the sheaf of papers Darren handed him, “She said you could come if you wanted.”

“Oh, I might be going out with Alicia.”

Chris glanced up at him in surprise, “Are you guys having a second go at it or something?”

“We’re just hanging out,” Darren replied dismissing the thought quickly, “But I kinda wanted to ask you about what we’re doing. I’m not sure if I’m a 100% sold on this and –“

“Darren, Chris, let’s go.”

Both he and Chris looked up to see Alicia standing over them, smiling brightly. Chris stared at her for a second caught completely off guard. He turned his head towards Darren arching an eyebrow at him questioningly.

Darren’s head took a moment to catch up. “What?”

“We’re all going to Past Tense,” Alicia replied.

“Chris and I were going to grab a pizza,” Darren told her, distracted by a piece of paper that had fallen away from the rest of Chris’ things.

Alicia picked up the sheet and offered it to Darren. “Perfect, we can all share an order.”

“No, I meant we’re going on a catch-up da- “

Chris cut him off, scrambling to his feet and taking the aforementioned sheet of paper. “We’ll be there.”

Alicia beamed at him, “Great! We’ll save you guys a seat.”

“See you,” Chris replied smiling tightly, the papers he was holding now rolled up into a tube.

Alicia gave Darren a pleased smile before walking off to where some of the other actors were waiting.

Chris turned back to Darren, visibly annoyed. He smacked him with the rolled up papers and grabbed his backpack.

“Ow!” Darren complained, “What the hell? I thought we were going out?”

“Can you at least try to use your words carefully, Darren?” Chris sighed, “I really, really, don’t want to hear from Ashley that she received a tip for her gossip column that we went out on a date.”

Darren rolled his eyes. “Fine. But you owe me pizza.”

“I’m spending Friday night with the loudest people on the planet. Isn’t that penance enough?

“Aww, c’mon I’ll be there,” Darren assured him.

“My point exactly.”

\-----

Forty-five minutes later, Chris was nursing a headache and actively wishing that he was anywhere else in the world. He would have gladly braved the humidity of the Amazon, or the brittle heat of the Sahara, or even the bitter cold of the Arctic. Anywhere that wasn’t in the middle of a booth full of the loudest, brashest kids he knew.

Chris admitted to himself that he was being a little dramatic. Alicia was actually pretty nice. She kept trying to keep him in the conversation by adding side commentary to everyone else’s stories but there were too many inside jokes and too many shared stories that he kept feeling like he was on the outside looking in.

Even the way that Darren had strategically made sure that Chris was in the middle of the booth between him and Alicia was making him feel claustrophobic rather than included. He wished he had taken Darren up on his offer to ditch them but Chris hadn’t wanted to be rude.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” he mumbled to Darren a few minutes later. He didn’t, not really, but if he spent another second trapped in that booth he was sure he was going to tear his hair out. Or worse, have a panic attack.

Chris tried to take his time in the bathroom. He even made sure to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ twice under his breath while he washed his hands, but there was only so much he could do in there before people started wondering why he was taking so long.

Pain stabbed at his forehead the moment he walked out of the bathroom and was greeted by loud raucous laughter from their booth in the back. He spied Darren who had turned around to look for him. Chris gave him a vague gesture to indicate he was going to order something from the counter.

“Can I get a Diet Coke?” Chris asked the waitress, sliding onto one of the stools.

The waitress came back with his drink and Chris gave her a small, grateful smile before staring at the dark liquid miserably. He contemplated how rude it would be to just leave. No one would probably notice he was gone. Except for Darren.

He was so immersed in his thoughts that he startled when the guy next to him casually asked, “Did you lose a bet or something?”

“What?”

Chris eyed the boy next to him. The boy was busy doodling on a napkin so Chris couldn’t get a good look at his face but he seemed to be his age although he definitely didn’t look like he had grown up in the area. His thick, dark brown hair looked styled but not overly so, and he was wearing a plain blue shirt, jeans and a brown leather jacket. Chris couldn’t distinguish one designer from the other but he could tell that the boy’s whole outfit was expensive.

“You look like this is the last place you want to be,” the boy said finally putting down his pen and looking up, “And as places go, a 50’s retro diner isn’t all that bad.”

Chris felt the gears in his head come to a complete stop. The boy was gorgeous, all cheekbones and jaw lines, his eyes a warm sapphire blue.

“No, I’m with my – my friends,” Chris stuttered, much to his dismay. He took a deep breath to steady himself. He was just a boy. A beautiful, gorgeous boy, that was looking at Chris curiously, waiting for him to finish what he was saying. “I’m with my friends,” Chris repeated, “But I have a headache and they’re…”

“Loud?” The boy finished for him, grinning at him cheekily. 

Shaking his head, Chris couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him, “Amongst other things.”

“Theater kids?” He said knowingly.

“How’d you guess?”

“Been around actors all my life, you can spot the ego from miles away.”

Twirling the straw idly, Chris made a face at the general direction of the booth. “I’d be offended, but I sort of agree with you.”

The boy glanced over at Chris, clear blue eyes looking straight through him. “And then there are actors who aren’t about the ego,” he said his voice low “You don’t always stand up and take notice, but when they catch your eye you can’t take your eyes off them.”

Chris blushed hard, unsure how to respond. He hoped his face wasn’t as red as it felt. “Feeding my actor’s ego?” he asked.

“I thought we already established that you have no such thing,” he replied smoothly.

This time, Chris was sure his face was as red as a tomato. If it was, the boy was either classy enough or merciful enough not to mention it.

“I’m Alex, by the way,” he said, offering his hand.

“Chris,” Chris said, shaking Alex’ hand. His hand felt strong and firm against Chris’ own. It was smooth for the most part except for the pads of his fingertips which suggested that he was a musician. A guitarist, maybe. Heat crept up his neck, when Chris realized that the hand shake had gone on for longer than what was strictly polite. It was Chris who pulled away first.

Alex turned in his seat to face Chris completely. “Since you’re already looking for a reason to disappear, what do you say you take pity on the new kid in town? Fill me in on what the scene is around here?”

Chris snorted, turning a little so that he was facing Alex too. “There is no scene. Sadly, this is all you can expect from our little Podunk town on a Friday night.” Chris took another sip of his drink before asking, “What school do you go to? I don’t think I’ve seen you around.”

“St. Mary’s. My dad thought I’d benefit from being around ‘good influences’,” Alex said, making air quotes, “What he doesn’t know is those private school kids are just as bad as some of the kids in LA.”

“You’re from LA?” Chris breathed. He was talking to someone from Los Angeles, someone who actually lived in a place that wasn’t their small backwater town.

“Born and bred,” Alex replied proudly, “My mom’s a publicist but she had to follow a client’s existential crisis to Tibet or something so I’m stuck with my dad until the school year ends.”

Chris tried to focus on what Alex was saying but his mind was already reeling with questions. He could barely imagine what it would be like to live in the city, let alone grow up there. Chris thought about his own plans to move away after high school and felt a little pang of sadness at the idea.

“That must suck. Leaving your friends behind.” Chris grimaced sympathetically, toying with his draw before taking a sip.

“I don’t mind.” Alex shrugged, his eyes twinkling merrily, “I can forego all the beautiful people of LA if it means I get to sit in a tacky retro diner and have snarky conversation with a cute boy.”

Chris inhaled in surprise and choked on his Diet Coke. If there was anything that could make Chris’ brain stop spinning dreams of big city life it was definitely that.

Alex was immediately on him, one hand on Chris’ back while the other grabbed a couple of napkins. “Oh God, I’m sorry. My dad keeps reminding me that I need some sort of filter.”

“No, no, no,” Chris gladly took the napkin Alex was offering. He wiped at his chin, hoping that he wasn’t a complete mess. “It’s fine.”

“I feel like an ass,” Alex said, his face apologetic, “I shouldn’t have assumed-“

Chris laughed at the expression on Alex’s face. “It’s okay. I swear. I didn’t mind. I was just surprised that’s all. Good surprised for what it’s worth,” he added shyly.

The worry on Alex’s face melted into a smile that made something in Chris’ stomach come to life. He was suddenly very aware of how close Alex was his hand warm on Chris’ back.

“Hi Chris, who’s your new friend?”

Chris spun around on his stool. Darren was eyeing Alex suspiciously, his arms crossed over his chest and distrust clear on his face.

He couldn’t help but roll his eyes at him. “Alex, this is Darren, my best friend. Who tonight seems to think he’s playing the role of my dad,” Chris added with a glare. Darren looked chastised but didn’t uncross his arms. “Darren, this is Alex. He’s new in town.”

“Hey, man.” Alex said offering his hand.

“Hey,” Darren replied, giving his hand a brief shake.

Alex turned back towards Chris, “I’d better get going. I’m supposed to meet a couple of friends for dinner.” He grabbed a napkin and the pen he had been doodling with and scribbled on the napkin quickly. He slid it over to Chris and smiled at him. “Text me? I might need a tour guide. There are too many places for a Catholic school boy to get into trouble around here.”

He gave Chris a wink and nodded at Darren once before leaving.

Chris stared down at the napkin dumbfounded, not quite sure what had just happened.

 “Did that guy just give you his number?”

“Yeah,” Chris replied slowly.

“Is he?” Darren asked

Chris shook his head as if to clear it. “I have no idea. I think so.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Chris nodded to no one in particular, still shell-shocked. He toyed with the napkin before tucking it carefully into his jeans unaware of the way Darren was glowering at the door Alex had just exited.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love my betas (Liz, Yumi and Meg) they are amazing and deserve all the love in the world!

The sound of his alarm had barely stopped ringing before a weight dropped on Chris stomach. Like clockwork, Marley would come in once he heard Chris’ alarm and lie down on top of him. It was his way of asking Chris to stay home from school and spend time with him, which Chris never had the chance to do.

Chris scratched Marley behind the ear, his sleep addled mind waking up bit by bit. He could spare a few minutes before he had to get up. With bleary eyes he unlocked his phone and read his messages.

 **From Cathy:** Hi All! Please be reminded that we’ll be having blocking for Act 1 and parts of Act 2 this afternoon. If any of you are feeling charitable, some of the set pieces still need to be painted. Text Carol if you want to help out.

 **From Cathy:** Chris, my little sister’s still raving about the cookies you brought over this weekend. It was fun hanging out with you, Colfer!

 **From Cathy:** Oh, and Tony’s too shy to ask, but he volunteered to hold an actual props making session next week while we block the second half of the play and he needs help. No pressure though. It might be your only down time before we start run-throughs.

He smiled at the last text. Tony wasn’t shy, or at least he wasn’t shy about texting Chris. He just wanted a reason to text Cathy. Chris knew that for a fact since Tony had confessed as much to him at Cathy’s house. He had been surprised that Tony had chosen him to confide in, but apparently he thought all the other members of the drama club were too gossipy.

He replied to each of Cathy’s texts and asked her to text Tony that he was available to help with the props. He then sent another text to Tony teasing him about it before opening his next message.

 **From Darren:** Past Tense after rehearsals?

Chris wrinkled his nose at the idea. He didn’t want to compare, but there was a vast difference between the time he spent hanging out with the backstage people and his afternoon with the actors. He liked Alicia and the others in small increments but having them all together in one place was overwhelming.

He sighed in relief when he saw the next text from Ashley.

 **From Ashley:** Boo! I know you’re mad busy but I need your keys to the office. I left mine at home and Mr. Hendricks hasn’t fixed our shitty door so it still won’t lock without the key. Can you drop by the office after rehearsals?

He typed out a reply to both Darren and Ashley, saying no to the former and yes to the latter. Chris scrolled down and frowned at the next message from an unknown number.

 **From Unknown Number:** So, what’s your stand on stalking?

 **From Unknown Number:**  This is Alex, btw. LA black sheep turned Catholic school boy.

Chris stared at this phone in disbelief. He would pinch himself to see if he was awake but the heavy warmth of his dog was more than enough to ground him in reality.

He paused before snapping himself out of his stupor and typing out a response. He read the reply once, twice and then three times just to be sure before hitting the send button.

 **From Chris:** That depends on how attractive my stalker is. I might be persuaded to call it ‘strongly pursuing’ instead of stalking.

Chris hugged his pillow to his chest, heart pounding. He wondered if it was possible for him to have a heart attack at the age of 17. With his luck, that might actually be something that could happen to him.

He jumped when his phone buzzed again 30 seconds later. Marley barked at him, indignant that his pillow was moving underneath him. Chris gave the dog another scratch behind his ear before reading the message.

 **From Alex:**   Which category do I fall under?

 **From Chris** : Hmmm… Let me get back to you on that.

 **From Alex:** No way am I going to let you pretend to lose my number again. I had to pull some very important strings to get yours. (It may or may not have involved military intelligence of the James Bond kind. As impressive as you can imagine.).

 **From Chris:** Who said anything about losing your number? Maybe I was just too busy to text you.

 **From Alex:** You wound me. Would bribery be a good way to convince you that I’m worth being penciled in to your busy schedule? Like, let’s say a Diet Coke after school?

He bit his lip and considered his response. He wanted to say yes, but it was a Monday and Monday was usually the busiest day of his week.

 **From Chris:** Unfortunately I’m not kidding about the busy part. I have play rehearsals after school and then I need to finish an article about the school play and a lot of other things in between. My only down time is actually travelling from one place to another.

 **From Alex:** Sounds like a plan.

 **From Chris:** What? What sounds like a plan?

 **From Chris:** If you turn out to be a serial killer, you should know that I’ve trained myself to use Sais and ninja stars.

 **From Chris:** Sais are knives, by the way. Sharp, sharp, knives.

 **From Alex:** And you’re afraid that _I_ might turn out to be a serial killer. Have a good day, Chris! ;)

Before Chris could type out another reply his second alarm went off on his phone causing Marley to suddenly sit up straight, looking wildly around for the cause of the commotion.

Chris took the opportunity to slide out of bed to get ready for school. He wondered when his life had turned into a cheesy teenage romantic comedy. He wasn’t entirely sure if that was where this thing with Alex was headed, but he wasn’t going to complain if it was.

\----------

Darren stared at the note on his table and frowned. His guidance counselor was asking to see him during free period and while he knew he wasn’t in trouble, he couldn’t help the feeling of anxiety in the pit of his stomach. Darren knew what the guidance counselor wanted to talk about and just like his previous meeting with her he still didn’t know what he wanted to choose as his major in college.

They had started talking about his plans at the start of the year. He was lucky that money wasn’t an issue and he didn’t have to worry about scholarships like Chris and some of his other friends; but there was something additionally nerve-wracking at the thought of his parents’ hard-earned money being spent on _his_ decision.

A decision he still hadn’t made.

The folded piece of paper that slid into his eye line distracted him from his thoughts. He opened the note and saw that it was from Alicia who was sitting two seats to his right.

_Are you coming with me? I need to set the appointment with my stylist. I’m not going to risk not being able to go again._

He had gone with Alicia to get her hair colored during the weekend only to find out that her usual stylist was fully booked. Darren had been relieved since Alicia had been bugging him to get his hair cut even though he hadn’t been sure if it was something he wanted to do.

The truth was, he still wasn’t sure if it was something he wanted to do.

Darren pocketed the note and ignored the glare that Alicia trained on him. She huffed and faced the front of the class, rolling her eyes at Darren.

Tapping his pencil against his notebook, Darren stared blankly at the chalkboard. He needed to talk to someone. He needed to talk to Chris.

\----------

“If you don’t tell me right now why you’re smiling like a crazy person I’m gonna bust your ass into next week,” Ashley said, poking at him good naturedly.

The two of them were holed up in the school paper’s office eating lunch, which in this case meant three bags of chips, a box of cookies, a bag of M&Ms and a couple of Diet Cokes.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Chris said coyly.

“Spill it, Colfer,” Ashley demanded, throwing an M&M at him which Chris caught and popped into his mouth. “You were texting all through homeroom, you were texting when I saw you in the hallway earlier and now you’ve barely said two words to me.”

Chris put down his phone and turned to Ashley, unsure how to proceed without making it all into a bigger deal than it might actually be.

“Do you remember that guy I told you about? Alex? The one I met in Past Tense?”

Ashley nodded. “The fabulously flirty, possibly gay, LA hottie who you refused to text? Yes. I remember yelling at you for an hour to just text him. If you hadn’t hidden his number I would have happily texted him for you.”

Chris rolled his eyes, remembering the scuffle that had ensued. Ashley had come over on Sunday to work on their Science project and Chris had told her all about meeting Alex. She had tried to steal the number from him so she could text Alex herself but Chris had fought her off valiantly and won.

“I had a reason for not texting him, you know. He could have turned out to be a total creep.” It was Ashley’s turn to roll her eyes at Chris. “Can I go on with my story?” Chris asked her pointedly. She waved her hand at him to continue.

“Anyway, I woke up this morning and he texted me,” Chris said, acting like it was no big deal. He was containing his smile but his eyes told a different story. They were bright and happy in a way that he rarely let anyone see.

Ashley let her jaw drop and made grabby hands at Chris’ phone. “Lemme see! I thought you didn’t give him your number?”

Chris thought about it for a second before handing his phone to Ashley. There wasn’t anything there that was too personal, just a back and forth of flirty texts peppered with comments about school or their classmates.

“I didn’t give him my number. I’m still not sure how he got it. He said he’d tell me when I saw him again.”

Ashley reached the end of the trail of messages and handed the phone back to Chris, gaping slightly. “He asked you out.”

“No,” Chris demurred but changed his answer at Ashley’s raised eyebrows. “Fine, yes. I think. I don’t know. He wanted to get a Diet Coke after school bu-“

“Go.”

“I have-“

“Go!”

“Ashley, I can’t.”

“Give me back your phone,” Ashley demanded getting up and trying to grab his phone back. “I am texting him right now that your cute little booty is willing and available to be spanked.”

Chris quickly pocketed his phone, moving a safe distance away from Ashley. “You’re making me sound so easy.”

“Honey, you’re stuck in a two-bit town with small minded idiots, mah fabulous self excluded, and a cute boy who just might be gay made an effort to track you down, text you and wants to hang out with you.” Ashley sat back down, resigned to Chris’ stubbornness. “If you don’t tap that then you’re a lot stupider than you look.”

“I’m not tapping anything. Or at least I won’t be tapping anything anytime soon,” Chris added. “I actually want to get to know him before I rush into anything.”

He picked up a cookie and nibbled on it. “I don’t know Ash, I want to make sure that he likes me for me and that I like him for him, not just because he’s the only gay boy who’s ever shown interest in me.”

Ashley nodded, taking in Chris answer. She opened her mouth to say something then seemed to think better of it.

“What?” Chris asked.

She made a show of clasping her hands in front of her and leveling Chris with a look before asking, “This isn’t about you know who, is it? Because Chris, we’ve talked about that.”

Chris blushed crimson, remembering the day that Ashley had caught Chris near tears under the bleachers during their freshman year. It was also the day that Ashley had declared Chris her best friend and refused to let him shake her off, no matter how hard he tried.

He should probably be worried that so many people seemed to latch on to him without his consent.

“This has nothing to do with Darren. It doesn’t matter what the general population thinks of us, we’re _just_ friends.” Chris said firmly.

Because that’s all they were and all they could ever be. He chalked his ill-advised crush on having escaped middle school only to be thrust into high school where people were older but didn’t seem to be any different. Darren had been his constant, the one thing he could count on when the rest of the world felt like it was turning on him.

Darren was still his constant, but he had learned to separate whatever feelings of inadequacy he had with the comfort of having Darren in his life. Chris, who liked things neat and orderly, had decided to lock Darren away in a box that that was marked ‘Off-limits’ and ‘Best Friend’ and also, ‘Your friendship is more important than whatever stupid crush you might have developed, you idiot’.

Ashley eyed him as if trying to see if Chris was telling the truth. She had been there during the worst of his downward spiral and he knew she was against any sort of relapse on his part.

Chris stared back at her, until Ashley backed down.

“Fine. But if you don’t find the time to hang out with him next week I’m going to track him down and lock the two of you in a closet. Erase all ‘em bad memories with raunchy good ones.”

Ashley waggled her eyebrows at him and Chris laughed despite himself.

“Deal.”

 ----------

Chris was in the middle of Math class when his phone buzzed. He was expecting another text from Alex but was pleasantly surprised to find a text from Darren instead.

 **From Darren** : Can I drop by your house after dinner?

A worried frown found its way on Chris face at the text. Darren only asked permission to do things when something was bothering him.

 **From Chris** : Absolutely. What’s up? Are you okay?

 **From Darren** : Yeah, I just- I miss you and there’s a lot happening.

 **From Chris** : I’ll be home by 7 at the latest. Just come up.

 **From Darren:** :)

Chris pocketed his phone and chewed on his lower lip wondering what was going on. He made a mental note to talk to his best friend more often.

\----------

Darren stuffed his new stack of brochures at the back of his locker. The talk with his guidance counselor had gone better than expected but only because Darren had been able to convince her that he had everything under control. Which was complete and utter bullshit because Darren felt like didn’t have a clue.

He slammed the locker door shut and rested his head against the cool metal.

“Hi Darren!”

Darren whirled around and snapped on a bright smile, waving blindly at the passing girl. She was in one of his clubs but he couldn’t place her at that moment.

The bell rang and Darren shouldered his backpack. If he was a character in a book, he would appreciate how his backpack was a metaphor for the burden that seemed to weigh him down, but since he wasn’t the whole thing just made him feel like crap.

\----------

"Um, Chris?"

Chris looked up from rifling through his bag for his keys and followed the direction of Ashley's glare. Someone was sitting on the hood of his car. He wasn't wearing his glasses so at first glance he thought it was Darren, but the head lacked a mess of curls, which immediately ruled that out.

Annoyed at the intrusion, Chris marched to his car hell bent on giving whoever it was a piece of his mind. He stopped short a few feet from away when he was actually able to see who it was. The stop was so abrupt that his center of gravity was thrown off causing Chris to go sprawling when Ashley bumped into him from behind.

The boy sitting on the car scrambled off and was kneeling next to Chris in an instant. "I always knew you'd fall for me eventually but I never thought it would happen so soon or so literally," Alex said.

Ashley guffawed as they both helped him up. "Are you for real?" She turned to Chris. "Chris, is your boy for real?"

"He's not my boy" Chris mumbled, his face beet red.

"I'm Alex," the brown haired boy said, offering his hand to Ashley.

"I figured.” Ashley shook his hand, a smirk on her face. “Ashley."

"Nice to meet you and it’s nice to hear you've been talking about me," Alex said smiling at Chris cheekily.

"I might have inquired on the process of getting a restraining order," Chris answered, way smoother than he actually felt.

Alex laughed and gestured to the bags on the hood of Chris’ car. "Would you consider waiting until tomorrow if I promise you Coke and fries?"

"Only if it's diet," Chris replied, smiling at the thought of his favorite drink.

"I will gladly deliver Diet Coke to you every day if I can get you to do that all the time," Alex told him.

"Do what?"

"Smile. You have a really great smile."

Chris was glad he wasn't drinking anything this time. He may have forgotten to breathe for a moment.

"So? How ‘bout it Ashley?" Alex asked. "Mini picnic on school grounds?"

Ashley looked like she wanted to coo at them and strangle them at the same time. Chris rolled his eyes at her. He knew that look well. He saw it often when they were looking at cute cat pictures online.

"Nah, I'm gonna skeedadle. You boys have fun." She waved goodbye at Chris and pointed a warning finger at Alex. "Don't get him too drunk but make sure to get him home _past_ midnight!"

"Yes, ma'm!" Alex replied, giving her a mock salute. He turned to Chris and they both walked over to his car.

Chris sat on the hood and eyed him curiously. "Why are you here?"

"You said the only free time you have is the time you spend going to and from places so I thought I'd take advantage of that."

That wasn't exactly what he was asking, but Chris didn't know how to ask Alex if he was interested in him without seeming egotistical.

"I didn't think you'd take that so literally," Chris said instead.

“That's something we have in common at least.” Alex opened up one of the paper bags and handed Chris his Diet Coke. “So what do you say? Give me five minutes to convince you that I'm not a total creeper?"

"If you have extra ketchup in that bag I'll give you 10."

"Good thing I was a boy scout when I was a kid." Alex replied with a wink. "It’s in my car though, I'll be right back."

Chris watched as Alex jogged back to his own car, biting his lip to keep himself from smiling too widely. He wasn't going to assume it meant anything – he had learned better since the whole mess with Darren – but he did admit that it was nice being the one wooed for once.

\----------

Darren drummed against the dashboard with his knuckles, imagining a beat to go with the music in his head. He was waiting for Alicia who had asked they go back to the school since she had left her script in her locker. Darren didn't mind since the school was on the way home anyway.

The afternoon at Past Tense was exactly what he needed after a long day. Alicia loved pulling focus whenever she was in a crowd and her easy banter with Darren made him feel like they were doing improv when they were together. Darren loved all types of performances but he had to admit that there was something about working an audience that made his blood rush.

Alicia opened the door and slid into the passenger seat. "Sorry I took so long. I took a little detour through the parking lot in hopes of finding Mr. Hendricks so I could also get my dance shoes from the rehearsal room. I didn't mean to walk into Chris' little date."

"Yeah,” Darren said, easing the car out of the parking space and heading towards the street. “He and Ashley are working pretty late. Again."

Alicia smirked. "That cutie was definitely not Ashley and that definitely wasn't work."

"What do you mean? Who was he with?"

"I don't know,” Alicia shrugged. “I didn't stop to make pleasantries; they seemed pretty engrossed with each other. I don't think he even noticed me."

Darren frowned. He knew that Chris didn’t like hanging out with Alicia and the other actors but he didn’t have to lie about needing to work. Darren would have happily gone off somewhere else with him.

"Aren’t you happy that your best friend is having fun for once?” Alicia asked, a little confused at his reaction. “You're always complaining that he works himself too hard. This is a good thing, Darren,"

Darren nodded and plastered a fake smile on his face. "Yeah, of course, I'm happy for him. I am. Of course."

Alicia raised her eyebrows at him but let it go. “Whatever. So, I was thinking after the play, I should probably sign up for some acting classes over at the community college. My mom won’t let me skip senior year to go to LA so I might as well make the most of my time here.”

Darren tuned her out. He was grateful that half of the time Alicia didn’t need a conversation partner to talk and that she hadn’t thought his behavior was weird enough to warrant her attention. He didn't know how to explain to Alicia what the churning in his stomach meant, especially when he didn't know what it was either.


	5. Chapter 5

Chris glanced out his window and frowned when he saw the Christmas lights illuminating Darren’s backyard. The lights had been a new addition to the fort he and Darren had made when they were kids. Over the summer Darren had insisted they add pillows and blankets and Christmas lights to the structure which was why it now looked like a hybrid between an old boys’ fort and a place for 8 year old girls to have sleepovers.

He had expected Darren to drop by hours ago. He was working on a book report and didn’t realize it was nearly midnight until Alex sent him a goodnight text and he spotted the time on his phone.

Curious and a little bit worried, Chris tapped a couple of keys on his laptop to save his work before quietly making his way downstairs. He grabbed a coat from the hall closet and made sure to leave a note on the kitchen counter in case his parents suddenly woke up to find him gone.

The bitter chill of the evening made him shiver as he made his way across his backyard and to Darren’s. He stopped in front of the fort and knocked. Almost immediately the Christmas lights switched off.

“Really, Darren?” Chris muttered under his breath before crawling in to the fort anyway. The space was cramped with a low ceiling that had been the perfect height when they were both less than 5 feet tall.

Darren was lying on his back, staring at the glow in the dark stars they had stuck to the ceiling, intent on ignoring Chris. He didn’t even move when Chris crawled over and lay down next to him.

They lay there in silence for a couple of minutes before Chris asked softly, “I thought you were coming over?”

“I didn’t want to interrupt,” Darren said after a beat. “It seemed like you were busy.”

To anyone else, the petulant tone in his voice would have been easily overlooked, but Chris knew every one of his best friends moods and this was definitely Darren hurt and sulking.

“Spit it out, Darren,” Chris urged, a gentle tone to his voice.

Darren shrugged and was quiet a moment before saying, “I thought you were working with Ashley this afternoon. Who were you hanging out with at the parking lot?”

Chris’ eyebrows shot up at the question. He didn’t even know how Darren had seen them since the rest of the drama club had left pretty quickly after rehearsals. He left it alone though, there were more important things at hand such as Darren thinking Chris had lied to him and blown him off.

“Ashley and I were working. I didn’t know Alex was going to be there. He showed up at school and we hung out for a while before going home.” Chris explained.

“Alex?” Darren asked, twisting his body slightly to face Chris. “That smarmy guy from the diner, Alex?”

“He’s not smarmy,” Chris said, rolling his eyes. “He can come on a little too strong, but he’s a nice guy.”

Darren scoffed “What? Is he following you around now?”

Chris smiled remembering Alex’s stalker comment. He told Darren the same thing he told Ashley about Alex texting him, elaborating a little bit more about the afternoon spent getting to know Alex.

They had talked until the sun had sunk low in the sky and both were forced to head home. It was strange spending time with a guy who wasn’t Darren. He had very few guy friends. Come to think of it Chris had barely any friends, guy or girl.

“So, are you guys dating?” Darren’s voice was small in a way that Chris had never heard before. It tugged at Chris’ heart and made him feel sad that he could make his best friend sound like that.

Chris hand found Darren’s in the semi-darkness. “If we were you’d be the first person I’d tell. You know that. Besides, I just met him. We’re just getting to know each other.”

Darren nodded beside him, still quiet.

“Darren,” Chris said after a moment. “I’m really sorry if you feel like I haven’t been around.”

He squeezed Chris’ hand to indicate that he understood. “You’re a difficult man to find, Chris Colfer.”

“I’ll always be here for you, DC.” Chris promised, squeezing back. It didn’t feel that way at the moment, but Chris knew Darren would always believe him.

“Ms. Mays called me to her office this afternoon.”

“Did she catch you trying to start a flashmob in the cafeteria again?”

“Flashmobs are so last year,” Darren replied, side-eying him. “No, she wanted to talk about college. She wanted to know if I picked a major yet.”

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her I’m still exploring my options which is bullshit because I have no idea what I want, let alone start exploring them.” Darren stopped, a frustrated noise escaping him. Chris made a humming sound and waited for Darren to continue. He knew from experience that his friend was just gathering his thoughts.

Finally, Darren sighed. “I know I sound like an over-privileged brat because at least I have options, but what if I make the wrong choice? Mom and Dad keep telling me that they’ll support my decision no matter what, but what if I choose the wrong thing? What if I choose the wrong major and flunk out of college? What if I end up a hobo. Oh God, I’m going to end up sleeping on the streets, aren’t I?”

It was too dark to see anything but Chris laughed as he imagined the terrified look on Darren’s face. “First of all, even if you ended up busking on a sidewalk I think your parents and Chuck would still be right there giving you standing ovations. Secondly, you need to tell everyone else to shut the hell up so you can let yourself think about this and actually come up with an answer that isn’t some Frankenstein’s monster version of what everyone else wants.”

“You’re not going to tell me to believe in myself are you? Cause that sounds like something I would say.”

“Shut up,” Chris said elbowing Darren in the ribs jokingly. Darren grabbed Chris’ elbow and used it to pull Chris closer to him. “I know we’re both overachievers but I never thought you’d be having a quarter life crisis at 17.”

Darren chuckled. “You know me, go big or go home.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if your stupid platitudes end up on t-shirts one day.” Chris laughed.

They lapsed into silence, enjoying the comfort of each other’s presence that neither had experienced in weeks.

It was another couple of minutes before Darren broke the quiet. “I’m trying really hard to be optimistic about graduating, but do you ever worry that we aren’t going to get out? That all our dreams are going to crash and burn?”

Chris didn’t answer. It was a fear that he and Darren shared and he wasn’t sure what to say to make his best friend feel better. Instead, he listened to the rhythmic sound of their breathing in the small space. The old fort was where they had spent days and nights imagining themselves as pirates and ninjas and dinosaur hunters and spacemen. It was where they had let their imaginations run wild, not letting something as pesky as reality stop them from dreaming.

He wished that turning dreams into reality were as simple as closing your eyes and willing them into existence. Life had taught him it was going to take a lot more than that. It was going to take a lot of work and a lot of perseverance and a lot of refusing to take no for an answer.

Chris wondered what it would have been like to have to go through all that alone. To walk through the hallways at school without a friend and to wake up every day knowing you were going to have to fight alone. He was glad he would never have to know.

“We’re going to be okay, Darren,” Chris said finally. “As long as we’re here for each other, we’re going to be okay. I promise, that’s never going to change.” There was a certainty to his statement that Chris rarely felt about anything else in his life.

Darren snuggled up next to him, his grip on Chris’ hand tightening. Chris used his other hand to poke at Darren’s shoulder. “We should probably move soon before you fall asleep.”

He started fake snoring beside Chris making him laugh. “I’m serious or we’re going to spend the night freezing in this old fort.”

“Nope. Body heat.” Darren replied shifting closer and draping an arm and a leg over him.

Chris sighed in resignation. He made himself comfortable next to Darren, moving closer but never letting go of his hand.

“You’d better set the alarm on your phone. I’m not going to wake up to the sprinklers again like the last time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's so short but I wanted to focus on Darren and Chris in this one. The next chapter will be longer, I promise!
> 
> Thank you to my betas as always! Reviews/feedback are always appreciated. ;)


	6. Chapter 6

By Thursday, the knot of tension was back on Darren’s shoulder. He rolled his shoulders in an attempt to ease some of the tightness and resisted the urge to lay his head on the library table and sleep. The talk with Chris had made him feel better, but with midterms coming up and rehearsals every day, work had piled up and his schedule didn’t allow for much downtime.

It certainly didn’t help that Alicia had made it her personal mission to educate Darren on everything she knew about the entertainment industry.

“If you’re really serious about acting as a career these should help you,” Alicia declared loudly, sliding into the chair next to him.

From across the room, the librarian, a balding man in his 40s, shot them both a glare.

“You should read chapter 10 in that book.” Alicia said her voice now a low whisper. She pointed to the book on top of the pile. “It’ll help you make a decision regarding your hair. You already know my opinion on the matter, but I think you should get expert advice.”

Darren stared glumly at the pile of books. “I appreciate the help, Alicia,” he said, pushing the books towards her, “but right now the only advice I need is how to finish my History paper before Mr. Binns decides to flunk me out of his class.”

Alicia pushed the books back towards him stubbornly. “All I’m saying is that it helps to listen to someone who knows about this stuff.” She leaned towards him and patted his hand comfortingly. “To be honest, I think you’re getting too stuck in your head. You’re on point at rehearsals, but your performance lacks heart and even if the audience doesn’t recognize it, they’re going to _know_.”

Darren winced. He had hoped that no one would notice he had simply been going through the motions. He had every line and blocking memorized, but none of it had felt natural. None of it felt like it came from a place where he was able to connect to his character.

He contemplated telling Alicia what was going on in his head. The two of them had become fast friends, and while she had a tendency to talk more than she listened, Darren knew that she’d be willing to shut up when needed.

“Be careful with that one, Alicia,” a high, clipped voice cut in before he could say anything. “You wouldn’t want to catch something.”

Darren looked up and groaned. Absofuckinglutely perfect. This was exactly what his week needed.

Tracy, his ex girlfriend’s, best friend was standing over their table. The look on her face would have made any freshman quiver; as it was it just made Darren’s blood boil. The school’s quarterback, Ken, stood beside her and watched their encounter with amused interest.

“Cooties?” Alicia asked unconcerned. “Seriously? What are we in third grade?”

“I was talking about STDs,” Tracy told her enunciating as if talking to a three year old.

Alicia laughed. “Should we be concerned about how much you seem to know about STDs?”

Tracy bristled, looking down her nose at Alicia. “I’ve always believed in monogamy.” She smoothed out her cheerleading uniform then turned to Darren, “It means being loyal to one partner in case that’s too big of a word for you.”

_Fuck this._

Darren grabbed the pile of books Alicia gave him and thrust them into his backpack along with his laptop and History books.

“Running away again, Darren? I heard you’re good with that. Bailing on people. Running away to your best friend,” Tracy said, sneering at the words ‘best friend’.

Darren gripped his backpack and tried to reel in his rising anger. “Believe what you fucking want,” he hissed, making sure to keep his voice low. “I don’t give a shit, but keep Chris out of it.”

“Aww. Prince Charming come to rescue his faggot in distress?” Ken asked, laughing at his own joke.

Whatever fine thread of patience that had been holding Darren together snapped.

The sound of his chair scraping against the floor echoed in the mostly empty room as Darren launched himself at Ken. The force pushed them both to the floor and the impact of the solid ground hit them both hard, making Darren grit his teeth. He raised himself above Ken and drew back his fist, but a stronger hand clamped down on his shoulder and bodily lifted him off the quarterback.

“The four of you, you’re coming with me to the Principal’s office,” barked the librarian.

The order barely registered with Darren. The rush of blood in his ears was all he could hear, hands still clamped into fists. It took Alicia pulling at his arm for him to realize that the librarian had started walking towards the library door, expecting them to follow.

Darren grabbed his bag with a little more force than necessary and followed his classmates out of the library.

He fucking hated this week and it wasn’t even over yet.

_Fuck._

\----------

 **From Chris** : Hey Darren, guess what crazy thing happened this afternoon?

 **From Chris** : I was sitting in Chemistry and wondering why my lab partner hadn’t shown up.

 **From Chris** : I assumed it was because he had fallen asleep in study hall again so I tried calling his phone but he wouldn’t pick up.

 **From Chris** : Naturally, I started panicking because he hates getting detention and as nice as Ms. Jarvis is, she isn’t very forgiving when her students are late.

 **From Chris** : But then I overhear some of the cheerleaders saying that Tracy was in the principal’s office because you freaked out and attacked Ken in the library. I, of course, told them to shut their lying, rumor-mongering bitch-holes, but then you know what happened?

 **From Chris** : ASHLEY TEXTED ME TO SAY THAT SHE SAW YOU AND KEN IN THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE

 **From Chris** : I’m assuming you’re still in there, but if you don’t text me the minute you get out, I’m going to get the drama club to picket outside the principal’s office with signs declaring your innocence.

 **From Darren** : I’m fine. I’ll be stuck in detention for a couple of weeks though.

 **From Darren:** Fuck. This blows, man.

 **From Chris** : What happened?

 **From Darren** : Ken was being an asshole.

 **From Chris** : I’ve had him as my partner in French since the start of the school year. I’m used to his natural state.

 **From Chris:** Did you really beat him up?

 **From Darren** : There wasn’t any actual hitting involved.

 **From Chris:** On his part or yours?

 **From Darren:** Both.

 **From Chris:** Care to elaborate, Rocky?

 **From Chris:** Darren?

 **From Chris:** Look, I’m not asking for a blow by blow. I just want to know if you’re okay.

 **From Darren:** Can I tell you about it later? I need your notes from Chemistry anyway. I have detention after rehearsals, but I can be at your house by 6.

 **From Chris** : Tell me about it over dinner? I can cancel my plans.

 **From Darren** : I’d love to, but I have a History paper I need to finish.

 **From Chris** : Okay. See you at 6. In the meantime try not to get into any more fights!

\----------

 **From Chris** : How much of an asshole would I be if I bailed on you tonight?

 **From Alex** : Depends if you think cute boys who break people’s hearts are assholes.

 **From Chris** : I’m sorry. Darren got called into the principal’s office and I’m not sure what’s going on.

 **From Alex** : Oh. Are you two going to have a besties powwow tonight?

 **From Chris:** Probably not, he has a History paper due, but he’s dropping by to borrow my notes.

 **From Alex** : Doesn’t really sound like you need to leave me by my lonesome if he has things he needs to do.

 **From Chris:** Alex…

 **From Alex** : I mean, he’ll probably need to go home right away. That still leaves the rest of your night free.

 **From Chris:** The rest of the night would be like, two or three hours tops. I have a curfew.

 **From Alex** : Home by 10. Got it! Pick you up at your house instead of at school?

 **From Chris:** That wasn’t a yes!

 **From Alex:** It wasn’t a no either.

 **From Chris:** Will you accept my rain check if I told you no?

 **From Alex:** Probably not. There’s a high probability that I’ll start spamming you with cats. Cats with big puppy dog eyes. I’m Googling it right now.

 **From Chris:** I wonder if it’s too late to get that restraining order.

 **From Alex** : Diet Coke, free food, British Royalty and me, Chris! Four of your favorite things in the world.

 **From Chris:** You’ve got three out of four, right. :p

 **From Chris:** Fine. Pick me up at 7.

 **From Alex** : Just so you know, I am now of the belief that you don’t like Diet Coke as much as I thought you did. ;)

\----------

 **From Chuck** : I called mom this afternoon and she told me about your downward spiral into a life of crime.

 **From Darren** : I’d send a picture of me giving you the finger, but I’m in detention.

 **From Chuck** : You okay, bro?

 **From Darren** : The assholes in my school are assholes.

 **From Chuck** : I’m sure that explanation is going to go over well with Mom and Pop.

 **From Darren** : This jock called Chris a – you know, that fucking word I hate. I shouldn’t have risen to the bait but one of Belinda’s friends was already pushing my buttons.

 **From Chuck** : Got it. Mom know why you and Belinda broke up?

 **From Darren** : Yeah.

 **From Chuck** : Good. You tell Chris?

 **From Darren** : What good will that do? You still coming down next weekend?

 **From Chuck** : For our annual pre-Valentine’s party? Wouldn’t miss it for the world.

 **From Darren** : Provided mom and dad don’t ground my sorry ass.

 **Chuck** : They won’t. They know you’re pathetic enough as it is. ;)

\----------

 **From Alicia** : This is stupid.

 **From Alicia** : Technically, I didn’t do anything.

 **From Alicia** : Although, seeing Tracy’s face when she found out she was going to be stuck in here with us more than makes up for it. She’s kinda hot when she’s angry.

 **From Darren** : I thought our displays of machismo might have done it for you, but apparently bitchy cheerleaders are your thing. Is there something you aren’t telling me, Alicia?

 **From Alicia** : Who knows, bitchy cheerleaders MIGHT do it for me. Sexuality is a fluid thing, after all. You can’t box people up in nice little labels.

 **From Darren** : Thank you for that insight, Dr. Kinsey.

 **From Alicia:** Bite me. Besides, if Tracy’s going to be believed, shouldn’t you be the one schooling me about fluid sexuality?

 **From Darren** : Ouch, Dr. Bitchy. Tracy starting to rub off on you?

 **From Alicia:** Fodder for your dreams tonight?

 **From Darren:** Oh, gross. I take it back. I don’t think I want that image in my head.

\----------

The loud ‘ahem’ in the detention room made all four of them sit up straight and quickly pocket their phones. Darren’s eyes flicked to the wall clock. They were barely fifteen minutes in.

He opened his backpack to take out his notes for his History paper and spied the books Alicia had given him. The top book was thinner than the others with a photo of a clapperboard on the cover. There was a quick second of indecision before he pulled out the book and flipped to chapter 10. There was no harm in browsing through it. He was already half way through his paper anyway.

\----------

“I swear to God, Chris, if you don’t stop trying to kill a good thing I’m going to kick your sweet little tush into the ground,” Ashley said. She kicked at his shin, making Chris yelp.

“I said yes!” Chris replied, kicking her back. “You are way too invested in my personal life.”

“That’s because I personally think it’s an affront to humanity that a hot piece of ass like yourself is single.” Ashley clicked on the print icon on her computer and crossed both fingers in the hope that luck would stop their crappy printer from acting up.

“Well, unfortunately for you I still am.”

“Not for long,” Ashley predicted.

“If it happens, it’ll happen,” Chris said, without much inflection. “We enjoy each other’s company and that’s good enough for me.”

“You deserve to be happy and in love, boo.” She got up and handed Chris half of the print outs and took the other half to her desk.

Chris took the papers and smiled at her, eyes crinkling behind his glasses. “And I will be, someday, but right now all I want is to finish the literary section of this week’s issue because I honestly think Cathy’s going to have a meltdown if we don’t finish the props soon.”

Ashley laughed. “Let’s finish up and I’ll help. Besides, I want to hear what’s going on between Tony and Cathy.”

“Oh, God, did I tell you that Nick’s involved too? It’s like watching a bad soap opera.”

\----------

The smile on Darren’s face was genuine as he jogged up the stairs and headed to Chris’ room. His mom had taken the news of his detentions better than expected. She was unhappy with his actions, but she had understood the reason behind it.

Darren wasn’t sure if he was supposed to feel better or worse that his mom hadn’t doled out any punishment.  He took it as a good sign that she had taken the time to ask if he needed anything specific from the grocery store for the party.

He had tried to make up a mental list of all the things they were going to need, but couldn’t remember any of them now. Chuck had always been in charge of making sure they had all the shit they needed. In fact, it was Chuck who had first come up with the idea for the party.

It was in fifth grade that Hannah had been scheduled to go to the doctor out of state during what would have been Darren and Chris’ first Valentine’s Day dance. Chris had decided to go with his parents and Hannah rather than go to the dance and since neither Darren nor Chuck had wanted Chris to miss the experience Chuck had suggested they throw a party the weekend before Valentine’s so that Chris could attend.

It was one of the many reasons that Darren loved his brother as much as he did.

Darren approached Chris’s bedroom door and cocked his head trying to place the song that was drifting through it. It wasn’t a song he had heard before, but it had a catchy beat that he could appreciate. He threw open the door without knocking and expected to see Chris sitting at his desk. Instead he found him in front of the mirror fiddling with his hair.

Darren’s wolf-whistled. “Looking good, Colfer.”

Chris waved away the compliment. “No need to shower me with flattery. I scanned the notes from today and printed them out for you.” He motioned towards the general direction of the bed, his eyes still scrutinizing his hair in the mirror.

“You’re perfect, you know that?” Darren sat on the end of the bed and shuffled through the notes.

They were mostly results of the tests they had run during the period and a couple of new things that didn’t look too difficult. It could wait until after his other homework assignments.

“Are you going to tell me what happened or do I have to wait for tomorrow’s headlines?” Chris asked.

Darren looked up, his words dying in his throat once he was able to get a good look at Chris. He was wearing a shirt that Darren had only seen him wear once or twice and a new pair of jeans Chris had received for Christmas. The look suited Chris, made him seem more confident and slightly more grown up.

Darren ignored the unfamiliar warmth that washed over him. It was different that’s all. He wasn’t used to seeing Chris all dressed up, and while the outfit wasn’t formal, it was definitely a step up from Chris’ usually more casual attire.

“Seriously, you’re not going to tell me what happened?”

“Are you going out with your parents or something?” Darren’s words overlapped with Chris’ who turned to him with a glare.

“Did they take away your ADD meds too?” Chris asked. “What happened with Ken?”

“You first.”

“Dare-“

“You said something about having plans tonight. Where are you going?” Darren asked, suddenly curious.

A smile was forming at the corners of Chris’ mouth. Darren couldn’t help but smile back at the giddy look on his friend’s face.

“I told Alex I’d help him out with a project on British Royalty,” Chris relented. “He promised me fries at Past Tense while we work.”

The stuttering in Darren’s heart, made his face fall. He toyed with Chris’ bed spread, making circular patterns on the cloth. “The guy finally got his head out of his ass and asked you out?” he asked, attempting to add a teasing lilt to his voice.

The attempt fell short causing Chris to give him a look. “We’re still just friends”

“Who go out,” Darren said.

“Who go out,” Chris repeated.

“And flirt.”

“And flirt.” Chris bit his lip to keep his smile from getting to big. “Maybe. A little.”

“All I'm saying is that there's flirting for fun and then there's flirting for profit, and this guy seems like he plans on cashing in,” Darren said, trying to keep his voice neutral.

“So what if he is? Is that too bad?” Chris asked him, face open and honest. “I want one normal high school experience before we graduate that doesn’t end up with me being a punch line or a cautionary tale. I'm 17 and I haven't been a proper date. Not to mention, my one and only kiss was with a girl who made me a social pariah.”

Darren felt a pull in his heart at the suddenly wistful expression on his best friend’s face. He jumped to his feet, and knelt in front of Chris, offering his hand with a flourish.

“Darren Criss, aka Prince Charming, at your service!”

Chris laughed, taking his hand and pulling Darren up. “A pity kiss from my best friend? No thanks.”

“C'mon, Chris, make out with me,” Darren begged playfully. He stepped in front of Chris and pulled him into his arms, making kissy faces at him.

“Get off,” Chris laughed. He raised his hands and put them on Darren’s chest to stop him from planting slobbery kisses on his face. “You're a lunatic! Go slobber on Marley!”

Darren’s shoulders were shaking with laughter as he placed his hands on either side of Chris’ face to get him to stand still.

Chris bobbed under Darren’s arms and ran to the bed wheezing slightly, his own breath short from laughing too hard. He picked up a pillow and threatened Darren with it.

Darren moved to the other side of the bed and picked up the pillow there, a dangerous glint in his eyes.

“Oh, it is on, Colfer.”

“Bring it, Criss,” Chris declared, adapting a gangsta accent and raising the pillow over his head.

The knock on the door, made them both spin around, smiling guiltily when they saw Chris’s mom leaning against the doorway, looking at them fondly.

"Alex is here," she announced.

The way that Chris’ face lit up made something in Darren’s chest ache.

“Thanks, Mom.” Chris dropped the pillow on the bed, but didn’t move from his position. He gave Darren a pointed look. “Tell me what happened.”

Darren though about telling Chris quickly why Ken had pissed him off, but the image of Chris happy kept popping in his head. He rarely kept anything from Chris, but Darren would bet that telling Chris what happened would ruin whatever good mood he was in.

“Your friend’s waiting downstairs,” Karyn reminded Chris.

Chris refused to budge. “Let him wait. What did Ken do to get you that mad?”

No, it wouldn’t do any good for Chris to find out what happened. At least not tonight. Regardless if Darren liked that Alex guy or not Chris obviously liked him.

“Why, Chris!” Darren said with exaggerated politeness, his decision made. “It isn’t nice to keep your guests waiting.”

“We’re staying in if you don’t tell me what happened right now.”

“If the two of you prefer working in a closely chaperoned environment, then I think that’s a splendid idea!” Okay, so maybe Darren wasn’t as selfless as he liked to think he was.

Chris raised an eyebrow at Darren who raised both eyebrows at him, waggling them for effect. It didn’t faze Chris who glared at Darren unblinkingly.

“I’m going downstairs to make sure your dad hasn’t had an aneurysm from trying to make small talk,” Karyn said with a shake of her head.

Darren threw the pillow he was holding at Chris who yelped and caught it, breaking their staring contest.

“You’re right Mrs. C.” Darren grabbed the Chemistry notes and ducked towards Karyn when Chris threw the pillow back at him. “You and I should go and make him feel at home.”

“I will be down in a second. If you embarrass me, I will plaster the school with your nude baby pictures,” Chris said in a menacing tone before he disappeared into his bathroom.

Darren looked back at the closed bathroom door. He sighed and then left the room to trail after Chris’ mom as she headed down the hallways to the stairs.

“Hey, Mrs. C, you know it’s a school night, right?” he asked, adopting a conversational tone.

The humor in her eyes made Darren feel like she was trying very hard not to laugh at him. “Yes, Darren, I am aware that it’s a school night. Did you get all your homework done?”

“Almost,” Darren said as they descended the stairs.

“That’s good. Apparently Chris did his during lunch which is why he has time to help out Alex. Sweet of him, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Darren mumbled.

Seeing Alex by the front door with Chris’ dad immediately put a scowl on his face. He didn’t care if it was unfair, but something about the guy rubbed him the wrong way. Maybe it was his douchey hair or his smarmy smile or the stupid leather jacket he was always wearing. Granted Darren had only seen him once before, but he bet the guy wore it like a uniform.

“He’s on his way down,” Karyn told Alex.

“Thank you, ma’am,” Alex said with a charming smile at Karyn. He motioned towards Chris’ dad. “Tim’s been telling me about the work you guys put into the rose bushes outside.”

Darren snorted in disbelief. Talk about trying too hard, no teenage boy cared about fucking gardening.

The sound made Alex turn to Darren. “Hey, man,” he greeted. “It’s Darren, right? You were with Chris when we first met at Past Tense.”

Darren clenched his jaw and nodded. “Max, right?”

“It’s Alex, actually.”

“Which Darren knows,” Chris said, appearing at top of the stairs and glaring daggers at Darren. “Ignore him. He’s being an idiot today.”

The smile Chris gave Alex made Darren want to hit something. Preferably Alex.

“You’re wearing your jacket,” Chris told Alex.

“Figured you’d appreciate it since you said you missed it the last time.”

Chris blushed and turned quickly to his parents. “We’re going now. See you guys later.”

“You should probably remind them to come home before curfew,” Darren stage whispered to Karyn.

Tim coughed into his hand, looking like he was trying and failing to cover a laugh.

Alex gave Darren a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He gave a more genuine smile to Karyn and Tim. “I promise to get him home before 10.”

“Good boy. Drive safely,” Tim ordered before disappearing into the kitchen.

Chris kissed his mother’s cheek and gave Darren an odd look. “You owe me a story,” he reminded him.

He nodded, smiling softly at Chris. He should have known that he wasn’t going to escape Chris’ concern that easily.

“We should go,” Alex said. He put a hand on Chris back and smiled at Darren tightly, steering Chris towards the door.

Darren frowned, his head buzzing and making him feel a little bit like a joke had gone over his head. Chris was allowed to have friends. Jesus, Chris was allowed to date if he wanted to. It was just that Darren didn’t want him to date Alex. He could date anyone except Alex. Chris barely knew the guy. He shouldn’t be going out with someone who didn’t even know Chris’ favorite pig out snack.

 _“Drumsticks,”_ his brain supplied automatically.

“Darren?”

“Sorry, Mrs. C. I'm going to go and get out of your hair now.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek goodbye and walked out the door still trying to figure out what it was about Alex he didn’t like.

 He hadn’t picked up on the amusement in Karyn’s voice or the knowing smile on her face.

\----------

Karyn walked into the kitchen and found her husband sitting on the table, reading the evening paper. She poured herself a cup of tea and leaned against the counter.

“I'm going to lose our bet aren't I?” her husband asked, not looking up from his paper.

‘Yup,” Karyn replied, grinning into her cup.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My deepest thanks to my betas, Liz, Meg and Yumi (who are amazing women, all of them!) + the usual plea for reviews and feedback. :D


	7. Chapter 7

Chris made a face as he wiped off some of the glue that had gotten on his fingers. He loved arts and crafts, but he could do without the byproduct of sticky fingers, paper cuts, and messy workspaces. It was a good thing Alex was more of a magazine cut out guy than a glitter and sequins guy like Darren. The glitter usually ended up getting everywhere because Darren liked to pretend he was a fairy bestowing wishes on Chris.

“Do you think the queen has ever eaten fries?” Alex asked all of a sudden.

They’d been working non-stop for an hour, inserting conversation here and there, but he had been quiet for the past five minutes, typing up the last part of his report.

“She’s the Queen of England, not the Dalai Lama,” Chris replied, now trying to pick off bits of napkin that had stuck to his fingers.

“Bad example,” Alex conceded. “How about a Taco? I bet the Queen’s never had one of those.”

He motioned to the waitress and ordered drinks and another basket of fries. The two of them had already finished burgers, a basket of fries, and two rounds of soda each. Chris was pretty full but he didn’t mind an excuse to stay a little longer.

A factoid he read a long time ago suddenly popped into his head. Chris grinned and waited for the waitress to leave before he said, “1975.”

Alex frowned at him, confused.

“State visit to Mexico. Their president,” Chris stuttered, trying to dig through his head for the details. “I can’t remember his name, but he served her tacos.”

Alex shook his head, refusing to believe Chris. “You’re totally making this up.”

“No, really, it was part of introducing her to their culture.”

“You are the best.” There was a genuine look of admiration on his face that made Chris flush. The waitress came back with their order and Alex thanked her before asking Chris, “How do you know these things?”

Chris took the glass of diet Coke Alex handed him and drank from it before saying, “I was in the hospital for months when I was a kid. I spent a lot of time reading.”

“What were you in for?”

“Surgery,” he said turning his head to show Alex his scar.

Chris watched as Alex’s eyes went from his scar and then down the column of Chris’ neck. The heat that pooled in his stomach wasn’t new - he was a 17 year old boy after all - but it made Chris both excited and nervous. Nobody had ever looked like him like that. Like he was more than just Chris ‘The Friend’, but a person that someone wanted.

Resisting the urge to touch his neck self-consciously, he shifted and continued with his story. “I also spent a lot of time in my room during middle school.”

“Too cool to hang out with the other kids?” Alex asked, turning back to his laptop. The tips of his ears were red, making Chris think that he had realized he had been staring.

“More like they didn’t want anything to do with me after they found out I was gay.” Chris tried to make it seem like it was mattered less to him than it actually did even though the whole experience still stung a little. It wasn’t easy to be disliked, and it was even harder when the part of you that people didn’t like wasn’t something you could control.

Alex smiled at him sympathetically. He closed the lid of his laptop and gave Chris his full attention. “Kids suck, don’t they?”

“Yeah,” Chris said, shrugging off the melancholy that his middle school memories brought. “Having Darren was great though. He kinda forced me to interact with people. If it wasn’t for him, I honestly think I might have dropped out of school at one point.”

“He seems…” Alex struggled for a moment to find the right word. “Protective.”

Chris made a noise of agreement. “You could say that. He started a lot of fights when our classmates gave me shit.”

There had been a time during preschool when Darren’s parents had been worried about him because his teachers would report playground scuffles and Darren calling other kids names. Darren had refused to explain why he kept getting into fights because he had somehow gotten into his head that Chris would get in trouble too.

It wasn’t until Chuck witnessed one of their classmates pushing Chris off a swing and Darren then pushing the other boy back that his parents finally understood and talked to Darren about the proper way to deal with bullies. It had also helped that Darren had learned not to confront Chris’ tormentors in front of teachers. He hadn’t been called to the principal’s office since middle school.

 _“Except he did_ ,” a voice in Chris’ head reminded him, _“Just today in fact.”_

“You still there?” Alex asked, cutting into Chris’ thoughts.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I think I know why Darren got into that fight. If I find out I’m right I’m going to sneak into his room and shave his head.”  

Chris scowled, unhappy with the revelation. If it was true then he knew exactly why Darren had been avoiding the topic. He had to know that Chris would be pissed about the whole thing. He appreciated what Darren had been trying to do, but they weren’t in preschool anymore and Chris has since learned to fight his own battles.  

More than that, the last thing he wanted was for Darren to get into trouble because of Chris, or in this case, on his behalf. Darren might be protective of Chris, but Chris can be just as protective of Darren.

”Now I’m worried about pissing you off,” Alex said, amusement clear in his eyes.

Chris squinted at Alex, trying to decipher why he was laughing at him. He chose to believe that it was because of the silly threat and not because Darren liked to say that Chris was cute when he was mad.

“Darren loves his hair,” Chris said. “He made a ruckus every time his mom wanted him to cut it and started calling her Delilah. He said that it was his source of power. I think they regretted sending him to Sunday school after that.”

“Hmmm…” Alex said clearly uninterested. “How about you, ever think about changing your hair?” he asked blatantly steering the topic back to Chris.

Chris made a face, thinking about his failed attempt to style his hair earlier. “I wouldn’t know the first thing about it.”

“I can show you,” Alex offered. “I spent a lot of time with the hair and make-up artists while I waited for my mom in photo shoots and filming.”

“Okay,” Chris said trying to act nonchalant. Inside his heart was doing a happy dance at the thought that Alex still wanted to spend time with him. He reached for a fry and popped it into mouth to stop himself from grinning like an idiot.

Alex smiled back at him before reaching for his laptop and opening it again. “So back to our Her Taco Eating Majesty, do you think that…”

\----------

 **From Chris:** Tony, you wouldn’t know where Cathy is would you? She hasn’t been answering my texts and I need to know if I can miss rehearsals or if Ed wants me in the scene.

 **From Tony:** She’s here with Nick.

 **From Tony:** I’m not Catholic so if I swear on a bible that I didn’t see Cathy kill him, will that still count as perjury?

 **From Chris:** I’m pretty sure that still counts.

 **From Tony:** What if I didn’t actually see it happening? I’ll tell them I was blinded by love.

 **From Chris:** On a scale of Stephen King novels, how bad is it?

 **From Tony:** _The Shining_ , but only because she was holding a knife prop earlier and honestly looked like she wanted to stab Nick with it.

 **From Tony:** I’m worried that I found that hot.

 **From Tony:** Drama aside, do you think you can help with the props tomorrow at Cathy’s? You can bring your friends. It’ll be a party.

 **From Chris:** Sure!

 **From Tony:** Thanks, man. I owe you.

 **From Chris:** No problem. Besides it’s fun watching you fawn over Cathy while she walks around oblivious.

 **From Tony:** Glad that someone finds my heartbreak entertaining.

 **From Chris:** Teenage romances are always entertaining, Tony. Always.

 **From Tony:** I’d uninvite you but you’re too good at painting things. Give me a minute, I’ll get Cathy to text you the schedule for later.

\----------

 **From Chris:** Are you free tomorrow? Props pool party at Cathy’s.

 **From Ashley:** A pool + drama worthy of reality TV? Count me in.

 **From Ashley:** Got your schedule yet? If you’re rehearsing can we meet at lunch instead?

 **From Chris:** I’ll text you back.

\----------

 **From Chris:** How do you feel about Beverly Hills 90210?

 **From Alex:** Mind numbingly entertaining. Are we having a marathon?

 **From Chris:** Nope, better. Do you want to spend the afternoon with me making props and watching drama unfold between our stage manager, our production manager, and our technical director?

 **From Chris:** There’s also a pool and lots and lots of free food. Cathy’s mom has a thing about overstocking her pantry.

 **From Alex:** You had me at “spend the afternoon with me”.

 **From Chris:** Ripping off lines from cheesy movies. I expected better of you.

 **From Alex:** Your knowledge of British Royalty is only matched by my knowledge of romantic comedies and pick up lines.

 **From Chris:** I feel like there’s a drinking game in there somewhere.

 **From Alex:** I’d happily lose to you just so you know.

\----------

Darren dodged kids right and left, pretending to be a character in one of his video games. His next class was the other way, but he wanted to drop by Chris’ locker. His birthday was coming up and while the pre-Valentine’s party would double as his birthday party, he and Chris always made sure to take time and have a private celebration on each other’s birthdays.

Darren rounded the corner and brightened when he saw Chris shaking his head and smiling at his phone. “Let me in on the joke?” he asked, leaning on the locker next to Chris’ and dropping his bag on the floor. ”Dude, I am so fucking glad that it’s Friday. This week sucked balls.”

“And so I’ve heard,” Chris said sarcastically. “Oh, wait, no I haven’t yet.”

The smile that had been on Chris’ face when he arrived was now replaced with a glare. Darren winced, putting up his hands in mock surrender.

“I’m sorry, I turned off my phone and didn’t see your text until 3am.” He didn’t add that the reason he had turned off his phone was because he needed to stop himself from texting Chris and interrupting his non-date with Alex. He had distracted himself by spending the night poring over his homework and when that was done and he still couldn’t fall asleep, he had started on one of the books Alicia had lent him.

“I can give you the abridged version over lunch,” Darren offered.

“How about you give me the abridged version now and the long version over lunch,” Chris refused to be sidetracked again. “And if my theory about your sudden foray into caveman-like behavior is true, then I might be doing a lot of hitting you upside the head too.”

“If I tell you that I had a really, really good reason, would you stop glaring at me like that?” Darren asked, using his puppy-dog eyes on Chris.

Chris was still glaring, but Darren could already feel that he was a little less annoyed with him. “Fine, I’ll hear you out.” His phone buzzed and Chris cringed after reading the text. “Damnit, I have to meet Ashley during lunch since Cathy needs me at rehearsals later. I’d invite you but you know how she feels about you being in the office.”

“I had a minor accident that one time!”

“You set fire to my submissions box.”

“It was an act of protest! They vandalized it.”

“Well, your good intentions hold no weight with Ashley. You’re still banned from the office.”

Darren grumbled, picking up his backpack again when the first warning bell rang. “I bet I could get her to change her mind. I’m can be very charming. And persuasive. And also persistent. I’ll bring donuts if you help me make my case.”

“What is it with people and bribing me with food?” Chris rolled his eyes and took out his phone when it buzzed again twice. “Shut up for a second, I need to see if this is from Tony.”

The smile that bloomed lit up Chris’ face and made him look almost angelic. Darren swallowed and ignored the swooping feeling in his stomach. “Must be good news if Tony can get you to smile like that,” he said casually.

“It’s Alex,” Chris said not looking up from the reply he was typing out. “Did you know there’s a theater revival show the next town over?”

“Yeah, I think Alicia mentioned it.” Darren said. He was resisting the childish urge to grab the phone from Chris so he’d pay attention to Darren. “Come over tomorrow then. Mom has a new cookbook so she’s trying out these crazy recipes .”

“We’re going to Cathy’s to make props,” Chris said, scrunching his nose apologetically. “You can come if you want. Ashley and Alex are going.”

The smile that Chris directed at him was eager. Darren knew that Chris wanted him to spend time with Alex, but he was far from feeling magnanimous towards the guy.

“Nah,” Darren said, not bothering to make up an excuse since he knew that Chris would see right through it anyway.

Chris’ smile faltered. “Why don’t you like Alex?” he asked without preamble.

“I don’t even know him,” Darren said. He rocked back on his heels and played with the straps of his backpack. “It’s a little silly for me to not like someone when I know nothing about him.”

“And yet you clearly don’t,” Chris countered, frustration creeping into his voice.

He knew that was true. He knew virtually nothing about Alex, but he couldn’t deny the annoyance that bubbled inside him every time Chris mentioned his name.

The second bell rang, making Darren sag with relief at being literally saved by the bell. “I have to get to class. I’ll see you in rehearsals, okay?” he asked, touching Chris’ arm in attempt to ease some of the friction between them.

Chris opened his mouth as if to say something more, but Darren was already backing away. “Yeah, I’ll see you at rehearsals,” he said instead.

Darren spun around, not wanting to see the disappointment in Chris’ eyes. He knew he was royally fucking up with his best friend, but until he could figure out why he wanted to punch the guy every time he saw him, then it would be better for both their sakes that he avoided Alex in the meantime.

\----------

A low murmur of a whispered conversation caught Chris’ ear as he walked into this next class and sat in the back. The cheerleaders were at it again, looking back at him and giggling to themselves.

He gritted his teeth and opened his textbook refusing to rise to the bait. Alicia had once mentioned that it was a mean girls’ tactic to make someone feel insecure. They didn’t necessarily have anything to say about you, they just liked making you think they did.

In this case, Chris wondered if maybe they did have something to say about him. If maybe there was more to what Darren was refusing to tell him.

Chris fired off a text to Alex. Not about what he was feeling, but a random observation about the movie they had been talking about earlier. Even though they had been hanging out a lot, Chris still didn’t feel completely comfortable confiding in him the details of his frustrations with high school. That spot in his life was still reserved for Darren.

He contemplated sending a text to Darren as well, but couldn’t help feeling upset that his best friend wasn’t making more of an effort to get to know Alex. Chris had always made sure to reach out to Darren’s girlfriends. Even the ones who seemed to hate him out right like Belinda. It wouldn’t kill Darren to spend an afternoon with the guy that Chris liked, and he did like Alex. He just needed to be sure that Alex liked him that way too.

Chris smiled when his phone buzzed with a reply from Alex. He typed out a reply, ignoring the renewed interest the cheerleaders seemed to have in his texting.

He clenched his jaw when a loud giggling erupted from their group, all of them glancing at him and pretending to look away when he glared at them. He opened his messaging app and typed out another text to Alex, masking his irritation with the cheerleaders with a humorous commentary about high school students and cattle.

Alex’s response made him smile, but it didn’t make him feel better in the way that a reply from Darren would have.  With a sigh, he pocketed his phone and ignored it when it buzzed a second time.

\----------

The sound of the doors echoed as Darren pulled them open and walked into the auditorium. His steps slowed as he took in the stage before him. Walking into an empty theater always filled him with awe. A packed audience, buzzing with energy was an exhilarating experience. An empty theater was different. Quiet and still. It was almost sacred. His heart expanded with each step he took towards the stage.

Set-up was almost done, lights still needed to be rigged come tech week, but the main backdrop was up and the smaller set pieces were scattered across the stage in various states of completion. He spotted Chris and Tony having what looked like an intense discussion next to a cardboard cutout of Prince Eric’s statue.

Darren walked up to them, giving Tony a smile. “Hey man, can I borrow Chris for a minute?”

“Sure,” Tony said. He took the clipboard that Chris was holding. “I’ll give this to Cathy and then I’ll go grab some more paint from storage.”

Chris thanked him and ran his hand through his hair, before looking at Darren curiously.  “What are you doing here?”

Ignoring the question, Darren rushed into his proposal. “I have the perfect plan. Dinner tonight. My house. My aunt’s coming over but we can go up to my room right after dinner and veg out while watching Star Wars.”

Darren beamed at Chris, excited. He deflated when he realized that the look Chris was giving him was apologetic. “You can’t come over, can you?”

“I’m sorry,” Chris said. He picked up the paint brushes lying on the newspaper and went to soak them in jars of water. “The pointy thing at the front of the ship fell off and we need to fix it tonight because they couldn’t get permission to work inside the school tomorrow.”

Darren followed as Chris walked towards the backstage where the two dimensional ship was propped up by a wooden structure. Most of the ship looked amazing but a part of the front had collapsed. If it was real, the ship would still be seaworthy even though it looked like it was missing a vital part.

Chris checked his watch and told Darren, “You could have just texted me that you know? Rehearsals start in fifteen minutes.”

“I did,” Darren said, a little annoyed. “I was wondering where you were since you weren’t at rehearsals.”

Frowning, Chris felt in his pockets for his phone. “Sorry, I mustn’t have heard it. Ed thought you guys would need the rehearsal time more so I went here to help Tony out. It’s a good thing too because Cathy’s gone off the deep end.”

“What? But Cathy’s perfect in rehearsals.”

“That’s because she’s usually working there. Back here she has more time to react to Nick being a jerk.” Chris moved to get the step ladder that was lying on its side. Darren picked up the other end and they moved it towards the ship. “He’s been biting people’s heads off and Cathy’s been trying to keep it together, but I swear she’s going to break down crying any moment. It doesn’t help that she likes Nick.

“Cathy likes Nick?” Darren asked now confused. “I thought she had a crush on Tony.”

Darren followed Chris’ cue, putting the ladder upright under the bow of the ship. If Chris were in a better mood, Darren would have suggested they use the ladder to make it look like they were on the ship. He recognized that now probably wasn’t the best time for that, so he focused on what Chris was saying instead.

“No,” Chris explained. “Tony has a crush on Cathy. Cathy has a crush on Nick. Nick thinks that Cathy has a crush on you and also thinks that you’re an ass, by the way.”

“Yeah. I’ve been meaning to ask what’s up with that?”

“He thinks that you’ve been leading Alicia on because you keep hanging out with her and like every other person in this school, he thinks something’s going on between us.”

“That’s Grade A daytime soap stuff,” Darren said, with a laugh. He bumped his shoulder against Chris teasingly. “So you’re my secret mistress, master, mastress? What the fuck do you call a male mistress?”

Despite the stress he was still clearly feeling, Chris smiled. “Technically, Alicia’s the mistress. However, while I and most people find this all entertaining, the fact is that Cathy, Tony and a bunch of the other stage managers will be stuck here all night and the last thing we need is Cathy and Nick fighting.”

The edge in Chris’ voice was back and Darren gave him a small sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry, dude. I’d offer to help but mom’s expecting me home for dinner. I can grab you guys some food before I head home though. Get you guys some drive thru at least.”

Chris picked up a stack of newspapers and brought them back to where they had placed the ladder. “Um, actually, we already had dinner,” he said avoiding Darren’s eye. “Alex dropped by and brought us some burgers and also some chips for later.”

“Yeah, that guy’s a saint,” Tony said, as he walked towards them, back from his supply run. He had a toolbox and a can paint with him. He placed the toolbox on one of the ladder steps before setting the paint carefully down on the newspaper that Chris had started laying out. “Cathy got him a pass from the office so he offered to stay if we needed the extra hand. He just went home to change into work clothes.”

Darren forced a smile, grateful when his watch started beeping indicating it was time for rehearsals.

“You should go before Cathy reams you for being late,” Chris told him, without looking up from what he was doing.

He considered saying something more before leaving, an apology for being an ass earlier or anything that would smooth over the rising tension between him and Chris, but Darren found that he could be very childish when he wanted to be.

\----------

That night Darren stared up at this ceiling, a churning in the pit of his stomach. His mind went over the rehearsals that afternoon. It was far from a disaster; even if he had skipped a scene and Cathy had to throw him his lines for the songs they had added for him to perform, but with the way that Alicia was glaring at him by the end, she made it seem like Darren had single handedly ruined her entire career.

“Get your act together,” she had hissed at him before leaving in a huff.

He could have chalked it up to Alicia being over dramatic, but Darren knew that she had a point. The play was a month away. Even Cathy had started giving him frustrated looks when he kept stumbling over the choreography in One Step Closer.

Darren wanted to get up and hide in their fort in his backyard, but he knew that Chris would notice and wonder what was going on. Chris already had enough going on to worry about Darren too.

 _“Or maybe he won’t,”_ piped up a mean voice in Darren’s head. _“He’s too busy with Alex, remember?”_

He pushed the thought away and ignored the prickly feeling that swept over him at the thought of Chris with Alex. Darren knew he wasn’t being fair to Chris and, if he was honest with himself, he wasn’t being fair to Alex either. Still, the guy was the last thing Darren needed to worry about right now. Alicia was right – he needed to step it up or he was going to risk disappointing their entire drama club.

Darren buried his head under his pillow and attempted to clear his mind. He was used to having his plate full, used to busy schedules and expectations, but he had never felt once felt like he was drowning from them. Classes, college, his clubs, the play, Chris. One by one they seemed to be slipping from his grasp and while he felt was powerless to stop it, Darren had to do his best to try. If all else failed, he was an actor, he could at least pretend to breathe underwater.

Stomach tight, he picked up his phone and sent Alicia a message to ask what time she wanted to meet tomorrow.

Drastic times called for drastic measures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My deepest thanks to my betas, Liz, Meg and Yumi (who are amazing women, all of them!) + the usual plea for reviews and feedback. :D


	8. Chapter 8

Sunday morning Darren stood in front of his mirror and ran his fingers through his hair, feeling a jolt whenever they reached the ends prematurely. He pressed his palms against his ears, letting them slide backwards until his hands met at the back of his head.

His ears were cold.

That was the first thing he realized after they had left the salon yesterday. He hadn’t told Alicia about his observation since she was already talking a mile a minute about her own transformation. Her long blonde hair had been dyed a vibrant orange-red that Darren admitted suited her well.

“I would have gone with a deeper red but Terry said this color would reflect better under stage lights. When I land my first big movie, I’m going to make her my personal stylist.” She had spared him a glance, smiling happily. “Your hair looks pretty good too. I told you this was a good decision.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Darren had replied with a small smile. Terry had provided them with a look book of different men’s hairstyles to choose from and since Darren honestly couldn’t distinguish one from the other, he had followed Alicia’s counsel instead.

“That’s exactly the look you should go for,” Alicia had told him knowingly, pointing at one of the photos. “It says adventurous, but put together. You’ll look clean and presentable, but your hair will have enough give to make it seem like you’re willing to take risks.”

“All that from a haircut, huh?” Darren had mumbled, even while he nodded his consent to Terry.

He had itched to text Chris, but he was probably busy making props and Darren didn’t want to bother him. At the back of his mind, Darren also knew that he was scared Chris wouldn’t reply; too preoccupied not just with work, but with Alex.

To take his mind off his best friend, Darren had chosen to make idle chitchat with Terry, asking her about herself and her dreams and aspirations. If there was one thing Darren liked, it was getting to know people.

“Are you waiting for a text from your girlfriend?” Terry had asked him when Darren pulled out his phone for the tenth time.

“No,” Darren replied, pocketing his phone again. “My best friend’s been busy so I haven’t talked to him much. I was wondering if I should text him about this.”

“About your haircut?”

She sounded confused and Darren had admitted to himself that his relationship with Chris would seem odd to anyone else. He didn’t hear any judgment in her voice though, just a genuine curiosity.

“Yeah. We talk about everything. Well, used to talk about everything,” Darren corrected himself.

Terry smiled at him sympathetically. “Doesn’t sound like a very good friend if he doesn’t have time for you.”

“It’s not entirely his fault,” Darren said, rising to Chris’ defense. “I haven’t been available either because of the play and school.”

“Well, you know what they say. If you want something you gotta find a way to make it happen. You can’t keep moping around waiting on everyone.” She gestured at Alicia who was over at the waiting area reading what looked like her script. “Follow her example. She’s gutsy, that one. Although between you and me, your friend can be a little bossy.”

Darren chuckled. “Don’t worry it’ll be our little secret.”

They had left and Darren had driven Alicia home before meeting his mom to buy groceries for the party. He had been exhausted when they got home and hadn’t had the energy to even _look_ at himself in the mirror.

Now that he had the chance, he wasn’t sure what he felt about what he was seeing.

Darren stared at his reflection and wondered about the person staring back at him. His hair had been cropped close, his usually unruly curls kept to a manageable wave with the gel Terry had given him. The guy in the mirror looked like he would fit in well at a prep school.

“Make sure you only use about a dime-size worth of it,” she had advised. “Too much and you’re going to look like you just got out of the shower, too little and your hair’s going to be all over the place at the end of the day.”

He had nodded, grateful for her help. He had wanted to hug her but had settled for leaving a generous tip instead.

The parentals had nothing but praises for his new haircut, although his mom had given him a concerned look when he told her where he was going that Saturday. His mom was cool with his hair, but he remembered her trying to tame it whenever class photo season came around.

Darren didn’t mind if his hair was a mess. He took pride in being able to stand out from his peers, hair unruly, shit-eating grin in place. He was the class clown, the quirky dude with the curly do.

He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be now. It was silly to think his identity revolved around his hair of all things, but he couldn’t help but feel like he didn’t know the guy reflected back at him.

Terry was right though, there was no use moping around. There was a reason that Darren agreed to get his haircut. He picked up his script and plopped down on the bed, grabbing his glasses from the nightstand so he could start working on the notes he had been given during their last rehearsal.

When night came he was so tired from catching up with everything he needed to do that he almost forgot that he was waiting for Chris’ car to pull in to the driveway next door.

Almost.

\----------

Chris groaned as he rolled over, swinging blindly at the general direction of his phone. He could hear Marley trying to push open his bedroom door but Chris had made a point to close it completely the night before knowing that he needed to get out of bed early the following day.

He dragged his body out of bed, his muscles still weighed down with the faint memory of sleep. He had gone to sleep late since Hannah had been nursing a fever for the past couple of days and with his dad out of town for a business trip his mom needed help with taking care of her and the house.

Spending most of the day driving around town, picking up the dry cleaning, stocking up on groceries and filling Hannah’s prescriptions had been taxing but at least he had Alex to accompany him.

“Doesn’t your dad ever wonder where you are?” Chris had asked Alex, who was fiddling around with Chris’ iPod.

“Nah,” he had replied without looking up. “Dad’s the type who believes that the authority figures in my life consist of nannies, teachers and nuns. I don’t even think he knows I’m not at home.”

“Isn’t that lonely?”

“I’m eighteen, with a credit card and absentee parents. I’m not crying into my cereal, saying woe is me, that’s for sure.” He looked up at Chris and gave him a charming smile, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Unless the poor little rich boy thing works for you, then that’s totally what I am.”

Used to Alex’s blatant flirting, Chris had laughed and rolled his eyes. “As long as you don’t mind me calling you Little Orphan Annie.”

“Hey, man, no judgment. If role-playing’s your thing then I support that wholeheartedly. I don’t think I’d rock the red curls though.”

The laugh that escaped Chris was loud and free. He had been spending so much time with him that he was no longer self-conscious around Alex. It also helped that Ashley was completely smitten with Alex and kept a constant stream of teasing commentary that meant Chris was practically immune from it all.

“The two of yous are breaking my heart,” Ashley had declared when they met up with her for dinner after Chris’ errands. “Not only are you depriving the world’s ladies of your lovely selves, you won’t even get it on for my own viewing pleasure.”

“Pervert,” Chris had said jokingly, side-eyeing her at the same time. He had been embarrassed at first but Alex was as comfortable with Ashley as she was with him, rolling with the punches and always quick with a comeback.

He had thoroughly enjoyed their company, but the impromptu dinner meant that Chris got home later than expected. He had been looking forward to going home early, not because he barely had any rest the whole weekend, but because he wanted to at least try to talk to Darren before Monday.

Seeing Darren’s darkened window intensified the unsettled feeling in his stomach. He hadn’t received as much as a text from him since Friday and while Chris could have just as easily texted Darren first, he didn’t know what he would do if Darren didn’t text him back. They weren’t fighting, not really, but there was something bubbling beneath the surface and Chris didn’t like it one bit.

Deciding that enough was enough, he had set his alarm half an hour earlier than usual so he could swing by Darren’s before school and maybe convince him to get a ride with Chris. He needed to make things right between the two of them if he was going to pull off Darren’s birthday surprise.

Chris had been planning for weeks, enlisting Cathy and Tony’s help, both of whom were more than happy to lend a hand. Which reminded him, he needed to drop by Tony’s locker during lunch period.

Carefully cataloguing each item on his to do list while he got ready for school, Chris danced around the various piles of supplies that he had left around his room. Once he was done getting ready, he quietly let himself out of the house and made the short walk to Darren’s backyard, heading straight to the backdoor.

He was greeted by a warm smile from Darren’s mom who was preparing breakfast at the stove.

“Good Morning, Chris,” she greeted. “Sit down and eat. You’re too thin.”

Chris sat down at the table and eagerly accepted the plate she handed him. He figured that Darren’s dad must have left early since the plate consisted of rice, scrambled eggs and a sweet meat dish that he had tried before and liked.

“Thanks, _Tita_ ,” Chris said forking eggs into his mouth. “Is Darren up yet?” he asked after swallowing.

Cerina gave him an odd look as she sat down with her own plate. “He left, dear. He said he signed up for morning detention since he has rehearsals after school.”

Disappointed but undefeated, Chris ate quietly; his mind already formulating a Plan B. He didn’t care if he needed to strap Darren down to do it, but Chris would make sure Darren got his birthday surprise.

“Are the two of you okay?” Cerina asked, her eyes still on Chris.

“We’re fine,” Chris said, fibbing a little. “Mostly scheduling conflicts. I’m doing my best to keep an eye on him and not let him do anything really stupid.”

“That’s good.” She took a sip of her coffee and said, “Other mothers might think that it’s him being a teenager, but I know my son. He’s been acting strange.”

Chris swallowed his spoonful of rice to say that Darren has always been strange, but Cerina recognized the twinkle in Chris’ eyes and beat him to the punch.

“Yes, Darren does prefer marching to the beat of his own drum,” she said with a laugh, “but he’s acting much stranger than usual.”

“I’ll talk to him and see what’s up,” Chris said feeling a little guilty that whatever was bothering Darren had gotten so bad that his mom was worried.

Cerina covered his hand with her own. “You’ve always been his rock, Chris. The two of you are growing up so fast and I hope you never lose the friendship you have.”

“Darren couldn’t get rid of me even if wanted to,” Chris promised.

“Good,” she said, patting his hand. She started clearing the table when they were both done, taking the dishes to the sink. “Are you still going to go through with your plans for tonight?”

“Yes,” Chris said firmly, standing up and shouldering his backpack. “It would help if I can find Darren though. Thank you for breakfast.”

“You’re welcome,” Cerina said. She walked over to Chris and kissed him on the cheek. “You’re a good boy, Chris, I think you’re exactly what he needs.”

Chris beamed at her. “Your son’s pretty great too. Takes after his mom, I think.”

“ _Bolero_ ,” she said with a laugh. “Now go before you’re late for school.”

\----------

Chris rushed into his homeroom class thirty seconds before the bell rang. He had left his math homework at home, which lost him the precious minutes that would have allowed him to catch Darren before first period.

It was a good thing he had Darren’s schedule memorized so he knew that he had third period free, time that Darren usually spent at the library. He was risking being late to his own third period class but it was important that he talk to Darren before lunch.

The library was mostly empty when Chris got there. He stood near the doors and scanned the room, trying to locate Darren. He moved to the middle of the room, behind a group of cheerleaders who he recognized from one of his classes.

“Did you see?” Chris overhead one of the cheerleaders whisper to her friend, heads bent close together.

“Oh. My. God,” another girl replied, smirking and fanning herself with her hand. “Did they break-up? Is that it? Because I would be _fine_ with being his rebound.”

“Were they even together?” The first girl whispered back. “I thought that was a rumor.”

Chris didn’t have time to wonder which poor soul they were gossiping about. He roamed the aisles trying to see if Darren was at one of the smaller tables near the end of the stacks, but to no avail. Chris circled back, his frustration mounting.

He didn’t want to text Darren, didn’t want to risk the possibility that Darren might actively start avoiding him if he knew Chris was looking for him. If he didn’t find him now though, it looked like texting Darren was going to be exactly what Chris needed to do.

Peeking at the other end of the stacks, he sighed when he didn’t see Darren anywhere. Chris pulled out his phone and sent Darren a text asking him where he was. The sound of Darren’s message alert tone rang in the library followed by books falling causing more noise to echo in the room.

Chris followed the librarian’s glare to a guy a few tables away. He walked over slowly, almost comically slow until he was able to get a clear view of the guy’s face.

“Darren?” Chris asked. He blinked a couple of times and shook his head slightly. He felt like he was being punked. That or he had been plucked from his bed last night and placed in an alternate reality. The Darren sitting in front of him had been de-afro-ed. His big head of hair had been replaced with a hairstyle any regular teenager would have, but definitely not one he expected to see on his best friend.

Darren looked up at Chris and while the lack of hair was jarring, it was the uncertainty in his eyes that really caught Chris’ attention.

“Does it really look that bad?” he asked, running his hand through his hair self-consciously. One of his books was still on the floor, forgotten.

“No, no,” Chris quickly reassured him. He bent to pick up the book and handed it to Darren. “You look fine. You look great, in fact.”

Now that he had time to get over the initial shock, Chris had to admit that the haircut suited Darren. It didn’t show off his personality the way that his old hair did, but it did accentuate his features rather than hide them.

He took the seat next to Darren and peered at him curiously. “When did you cut your hair?”

“Saturday,” Darren said, with a little shrug. “Alicia’s been bugging me about it since rehearsals started.”

Chris narrowed his eyes, trying to understand. “What does rehearsals have anything to do about it?”

“Prince Eric wouldn’t be very princely if he had a head of messy curls,” Darren said, mimicking a high nasally voice which Chris recognized as one of the girls who played Ariel’s sister.

“That’s stupid.”

“Actors do it all the time,” Darren said a little defensively.

“True,” Chris conceded. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to tailor your appearance to fit a role, I just want to understand why you did it.”

“You haven’t been at rehearsals.” Darren’s voice was rough, his frustration evident in the crease of his forehead. He ran a restless hand through his hair messing up the strands and making it appear a little more like his old hairstyle. “You don’t know how bad I’ve been fucking up. I had to do something.”

“And a haircut seemed like the solution?”

“You don’t get to judge. I tried talking to you but you’re always with other people.”

Darren huffed and crossed his arms across his chest. Chris looked away and plucked at the fraying edges of a hole in his jeans. He didn’t know when Alex became the elephant in the room and he wanted desperately for him not to be, but it wasn’t the right time to bring that up. Not when there were other things they needed to work out.

“Firstly,” he began, “I don’t think you’re fucking up as badly as you think. If you were then Cathy would have mentioned it and all she’s said is that you needed to work on memorizing the song lyrics.”

Darren made a face. “She didn’t have to be so mean about my crib sheet.”

“Secondly, I’m kidnapping you after rehearsals and you and I are going to welcome your birthday like we do every year just the two of us.”

“Glad you could still pencil me in to your busy social calendar,” Darren said, tone dripping with sarcasm.

“Stop being a dick and let me finish.”

Darren rolled his eyes at the admonition but relaxed a little against his chair. When he was sure that he wasn’t going to interrupt again, Chris continued.

“Thirdly, you and I, we’re friends. No matter what happens we’ll always be friends,” he told him, nudging Darren with his arm. “You can be a handful and I know I’m not always a picnic either so if you need a time out from me or I need a time out from you, that’s fine, but we will _always_ be best friends. Nothing and nobody is going to change that.”

His speech was met with silence. Chris studied Darren’s profile as his best friend stared down at his lap. Darren’s eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks and Chris couldn’t help but appreciate the way it made him look almost beautiful. He had long resolved that his crush was nothing more than misplaced affection, but sometimes Chris allowed himself to forget and reveled in the fact that this beautiful, gorgeous human being was his best friend.

When Darren looked back up at Chris his eyes were bright, face twisted in a small smile. “We’re both idiots.”

“Yes, we are,” Chris agreed. “But we’re each other’s idiots. Just promise me that we’ll always be idiots who talk to each other.”

“Cross my heart,” Darren said with a cheesy grin. His eyes were sincere though, shining in a way that used to take Chris’ breath away. Not anymore. Chris knew better. What he and Darren had was special, but it was never going to be anything more than friendship. He had learned that the hard way.

“Since we’re doing the talking thing,” Darren started, pulling him from his reverie, “tell me, how bad is it?” He rolled his eyes up towards his hair and Chris could tell he was dreading the answer.

Chris leaned close and pretended to assess his head until Darren finally got the joke and pushed him away laughing.

“It’s not bad,” Chris said with a laugh. “It’s different. Good different.”

“Douchebag different?”

“No, I checked. You’re douchebag free. You actually do look like a Disney prince.”

“You think I look like Prince Charming?” The uncertainty in Darren’s eyes was almost completely gone, replaced by his usual bravado.

“Not Prince Charming exactly. More like the prince in _Shrek_. His Royal Big Head McShorty Pants,” Chris teased.

“Harharhar,” Darren said swatting at Chris.

Chris swatted him back, resisting the urge to rumple Darren’s hair. It looked like it had product in it and he wasn’t going to get his hand stuck in Darren’s new do.

“I always thought the prince who got turned into a frog was more interesting. At least he has character.”

“I think I’d rather be that guy too,” Darren agreed. “Froggy Darren, man-sized super frog. Able to jump over school buildings with a single leap because I’m a fucking man-sized frog!”

Chris burst out laughing at Darren’s ridiculous narrator voice, his smile wide, eyes crinkling at the corners. His laughter tapered off and he raised his eyebrows when he saw that Darren was staring at him, eyes clear and beautiful.

“I missed you.”

The smile that blossomed on Chris’ face was heartfelt and warm. “I missed you too,” he said simply.

It took more effort than it should have for Chris to tear his eyes away from Darren’s as the warning bell rang overhead.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” Chris said picking up his bag form the floor. “Wait for me after rehearsals. Your mom said she’ll drop by at lunch to pick up your car.”

“What are you up to, Colfer, and why have you corrupted my sweet innocent mother?” Darren called out to Chris who was already halfway across the room. His shout was promptly followed by a loud shushing sound from the librarian.

Chris chuckled to himself as he ran out of the door, the warm giddy feeling staying with him throughout his class.

\----------

Darren had never been the patient type, anticipation swelling inside him with each passing hour. He had met his mom at lunch to hand over his car keys and needled and cajoled her into giving him a hint but she had refused.

By fifth period he was practically buzzing.

He loved surprises, what he hated was knowing beforehand that they were coming and having to wait. There was only one way to find out what his surprise was going to be and that was to bug Chris. The two of them shared few classes on Tuesdays but he did expect to see him at rehearsals. Darren bounded into the rehearsal room and deflated when he realized that Chris wasn’t there.

Spotting Cathy at the corner with Tony he made a quick beeline for them.

“Hey guys!” he greeted them loudly.

The pair gave him startled amused looks. Tony shook his head and laughed outright. “Hey, man.”

“Chris isn’t on call today,” Cathy said, hugging her clipboard to her chest. She didn’t say anything more but Darren could tell from the way that she was smiling that she knew what Chris’ plans were.

Knowing that Cathy wouldn’t crack no matter how hard he tried, Darren turned to Tony who immediately raised his hand and mimed zipping his lips.

Darren glared at them both, pouting when they laughed at him in response.

“We start in five,” Cathy told him before walking off towards her usual table.

He nodded at her and dropped his bag on the floor next to Alicia’s, pulling out his phone from his pocket in the process.

 **From** **Darren** : Cathy and Tony told me everything.

 **From** **Chris** : I’m impressed. I was expecting you to text sooner than this.

 **From** **Chris:** And no, they didn’t.

 **From** **Darren** : No, they didn’t. But my mom gave me the biggest hint.

 **From** **Chris** : No, she didn’t.

 **From** **Darren** : She really didn’t. Not a peep.

 **From** **Darren:**  Betrayed by my best friend and my mother. :’(

 **From** **Darren** : It’s my birthday why are you both being so mean to me?

 **From** **Chris** : It’s not your birthday yet.

 **From** **Darren** : But it’s FOR my birthday.

 **From** **Chris** : Yes, and with the way you’re acting you’d think you were turning five not seventeen.

 **From** **Darren** : Chris?

 **From** **Darren** : Chrissssssss?

 **From** **Darren** : Chris, Chris, Chris.

 **From** **Chris:** Darren, Darren, Darren.

 **From** **Chris:**  Stop being a five year old for three hours and do what Cathy says. 

 **From** **Darren:**  I hate you.

 **From** **Chris:**  I bet you won't be saying that after tonight.

 **From** **Darren:**  Chrissssssss!

 **From** **Chris:**  :p

\-----------

“When you told me you going to kidnap me, I didn’t think you would do it for real.”

Darren squirmed in his seat, restless as he felt the car turn from one street to another. A blindfold covered his eyes and it was taking all his willpower not to snatch it off since Chris had made him promise he wouldn’t.

“I figured we should do something different this year,” Chris said next to him.

“Hey, I liked staying up watching horror movies with you.”

“ _You_ did,” Chris scoffed. “I hate them. The only reason I watch those stupid horror movies is because it’s your birthday.”

“You know I feel the same way usually but it’s one day out of the year,” Darren said, sticking his tongue out at Chris’ general direction. “You’re not going to get scarred for life.”

“Tell that to my therapist.”

Darren felt the car slow down and roll to a stop. He started to reach for the blindfold but he remembered he was supposed to be waiting for Chris.

He heard Chris’ door open and close and a few seconds later, felt his door open and Chris hand slip into his. Darren squeezed tight, bouncing in his seat.

“Come on,” he heard Chris’ soft laugh near his ear. “Get out of the car and I’ll guide you.”

Darren carefully got out, still holding onto Chris’ hand as he led them forward He remembered the only time that he and Chris had gone to summer camp together. Chris had failed the trust walk spectacularly since their camp counselor had split them apart. Darren had no problem with it though. He especially didn’t have a problem when it was Chris’ hand he was holding.

He felt soft ground replace hard concrete under his shoes, making his curiosity bubble over, his palms itching to take off the blindfold. Chris led him forward a few more feet and then guided him to stop.

“Okay,” he told Darren. “You can take it off now.”

Darren eagerly pulled off the blindfold and let his eyes adjust from the darkness. They were in his backyard. At first he thought it was the setting sun that was bathing the area with a warm orange glow, but then he realized that the light was coming from the trees.

Christmas lights were woven around the trees surrounding their old fort accented by paper lanterns peeking through the branches here and there. Placed against the side of the fort were blankets and pillows arranged so that they made a small comfy nest for two people. A low table held a picnic basket stuffed with snacks and a dozen bottles of diet Coke and apple juice, and across from it all was a white sheet hanging from the trees, pulled taut by the rocks that weighed down its ends.

He didn’t realize what the set-up was for until he saw the laptop and the black bag on the pile of blankets. He knew that bag well. It was the projector the drama club usually borrowed from Tony’s uncle.

“Wow,” Darren breathed, he tried to formulate something more but that was all his brain could come up with.

Darren stared at Chris whose eyes were sparkling brightly, the tilt of his chin revealing how incredibly pleased he was with Darren’s response.

“This is fucking incredible Chris,” he said with a laugh. “It’s perfect.”

“Watching movies to welcome your birthday has always been our tradition,” Chris said with a shrug and a grin. “Who am I to break it?”

Darren bounced on his toes, his excitement palpable. “Do we get popcorn? And candy?“

“Everything’s in the basket except for the popcorn,” Chris said, pushing Darren towards the blankets. “Go pick a movie and I’ll go microwave some.”

Darren buried himself in the pile of pillows and blankets and stared up at the sky. He could very well fly up to the heavens and challenge the stars to a shining contest with the way he was feeling.

Things were back to the way they were between him and Chris. He was here with Darren welcoming his birthday and tomorrow was Darren’s actual birthday. He didn’t have plans except for dinner with his parents but he was looking forward to the party on Saturday.

Self-doubt and a vague sense of loss had been present inside him for so long that he felt like a fog had started settling around him. The party would help clear his head and hopefully put his mind back on track.

He breathed in the crisp night air and wiggled deeper into the blankets, still in awe that Chris had prepared all of this for him. He couldn’t deny that the time he had spent in friendship limbo with Chris had been the worst parts of his week. He had tried to push the feeling down, focused on his ever extending list of things to do but Darren knew that it was one of the reasons he had been feeling wrong-footed.

It didn’t matter though, because he and Chris were okay. Not completely, there were still things they needed to talk about, but they were on their way.

Darren’s gaze shifted to the paper lanterns and he grinned, inspiration coming to him. He searched for the movie and queued it up for playback.

A few minutes later Chris was back with a large bowl of popcorn. He settled down next to Darren who immediately snuggled up to him, almost dislodging the bowl on Chris’ lap. Darren reached over with his toe to press the spacebar on the laptop and chuckled when Chris tensed, expecting a horror movie.

“ _Tangled_?” He asked surprised when the opening scene started.

“Yup, I figured we could watch something we both want.”

Darren tipped his head against Chris’ shoulder and Chris relaxed against him, resting his own head against Darren’s.

The two of them watched in silence for most of the movie, injecting commentary here and there. When it came to the part where Rapunzel was finally able to see the floating lanterns, Darren raised his head and peered at Chris.

“Are you humming?” he asked, amused. Chris rarely sang along to Disney movies. That was more Darren’s thing.

Instead of answering Chris tilted his head, glancing up at the stars and opened his mouth to sing. _“All those days watching from the windows. All those years outside looking in. All that time never even knowing, just how blind I've been.”_

His eyes gleamed in the glow cast by the lanterns and the Christmas lights, a bright star in the dark night. Darren’s heart constricted as Chris smiled at him impishly, gesturing for him to join in.

 _“Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight,”_ Darren sang, his voice wobbly at first. _“Now I'm here, suddenly I see. Standing here, it's oh so clear. I'm where I'm meant to be.”_

Their voices blended as Chris joined in for the chorus.

_“And at last I see the light. And it's like the fog has lifted. And at last I see the light. And it's like the sky is new. And it's warm and real and bright. And the world has somehow shifted.”_

Darren’s pulse raced; he couldn’t help but be struck at how good they sounded together. He knew Chris didn’t think of himself as a singer, but he always managed to blow Darren away.

_“All at once everything looks different. Now that I see you.”_

They stared at each other caught, movie forgotten in the background. There were very few times that Darren appreciated stillness but this was one of them. In the bubble they had made out of memories and moments, he felt safe and warm. And he knew exactly why.

He needed Chris in his life. Needed his friend to be there to guide him whenever he felt like he was stumbling around lost in the dark. There were a hundred things that scared Darren to the core, but losing his best friend was definitely on the top of that list.

The sound of the alarm on Chris’ phone made them both jump.

Chris moved away from Darren, eyes turning sad for such a quick moment that Darren swore he had imagined it. He pulled his phone out from under the blanket they had been using and showed it to Darren who laughed when he saw a birthday cake on the screen with one lone candle.

“Happy Birthday, Darren,” Chris said, his voice quiet. “Make a wish.”

Darren took a breath, feeling like his heart was too big for his small body, shining with a joy that he couldn’t contain. He smiled and Chris smiled back at him, eyes warmed by the glow of lights surrounding them.

He blew on Chris’ phone but didn’t make a wish. He didn’t need to. Right at that moment, there really wasn’t anything else he wanted in his life.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big, big, BIG thanks to Liz, Yumi and especially Meg who kicked my ass on this chapter.

Chris woke up slowly to the sounds of birds chirping in the trees, his forehead creasing at the gentle reminder that school would be starting in a couple of hours.

He blinked away the sleep in his eyes, his frown turning into a smile when the first thing he noticed was a long sunbeam making its way through a small hole in the roof of their fort, hitting Darren’s cheek. It wasn’t enough to wake him up, but was enough for him to scrunch up his face in annoyance and bury himself deeper against Chris’ side.

 _I guess I’m not getting up anytime soon_ , he thought to himself wryly. He wasn’t complaining, not really; it was early still and time spent with Darren had been few and far in between since they had started the school year with the way both their schedules had lined up.

If it was anyone else, paranoia would have gripped him and made him think that Darren was actively avoiding him, but since the first day of grade school his best friend had made it clear that they were a package deal.

“You’re never getting rid of me,”Darren had told him and Chris all of seven years old had believed him and held him to that promise ever since.

Chris wondered how in the hell he had been lucky enough to have Darren in his life. He might not have the letter jacket and the gaggle of cheerleaders following him around but he was easily one of the more popular kids in school.

Darren was likeable. It was as simple as that. People were drawn to him and for whatever reason Darren had been drawn to Chris. Just not in the way Chris had wanted.

His cheeks heated with a blush and he was grateful that Darren was still fast asleep beside him. It wasn’t one of his finer moments, pining away for his best friend like some stupid movie cliché. Ashley had been quick to blame Darren, frowned upon the oblivious way that he pushed past the boundaries that Chris had long since stopped trying to have with him.

“Tell your boy to choose a side and stick with it,” she had bitched at Chris one afternoon and while Chris appreciated how protective she was of him, he didn’t know if he could explain that it wasn’t something Darren chose to be, it was simply who he was.

Darren, who believed in true love and romance and didn’t believe for one second that any of it had limits.

Darren, who had parents who accepted and supported him in anything and asked for nothing in return even though he made himself feel like he owed them the world.

Darren, who lived a life so perfect that he could get away with anything really, even kiss a boy in a party while Chris had practically been lynched by their classmates.

His heart twisted in his chest at the memory. That had been the final blow because it meant that it wasn’t that Darren wasn’t into boys, it was that Darren wasn’t in to Chris.

He shook his head and forced the thoughts away. It wasn’t Darren’s fault and Chris had long ago made peace with it. At the very least it was a lesson not to let his heart run away with him and read into more than what people was willing to give him.

Darren stirred next to Chris and opened his eyes, hazel and bright and shining, looking at Chris like he was the sun itself. It used to make Chris want for so much more than Darren could give him, but now he smiled back, his own heart content with what they had.

“Morning, Birthday Boy.” The grunt he received in response made Chris laugh. As energetic as Darren was most of the time, he definitely needed a minute or two to adjust after waking up.

“How long have you been up?” he asked Chris after a minute.

“Not long. It’s only seven, I think. The alarm hasn’t gone off yet.”

Darren mumbled against his side sleepily before asking, “Do you remember the first time we hid out here?”

Chris gave a small laugh. “We were what?” he asked, shifting to face Darren earning him a disgruntled whine. “Seven or eight? You wanted to run away.”

“I wanted you to run away with me but you wouldn’t leave Hannah.”

“And you didn’t want to leave me so you decided to stay and hide here instead.” Chris shook his head remembering. “Your parents actually did think you ran away.”

Darren shuddered. “Man, I don’t think I’ve ever seen my dad that scared in his life. I was grounded for like forever.”

“Was that the time they wouldn’t let you sleep over because you broke Chuck’s skateboard?”

“No, dude, this was when I mouthed off to our homeroom teacher.”

Pausing for a moment, Chris racked his brain for the memory. “Because you wanted to give me a Valentine?”

“No, because I told her you were my soulmate and she said that wasn’t possible.”

He smiled, vaguely recalling a furious Darren sitting at the Principal’s office his arms crossed in front of him and a defiant scowl on his face. Chris had been dragged along because Darren had marched over to his table and declared him his soulmate and refused to let go of his hand.

It had been the one and only time he had been sent to the Principal’s office and his parents were definitely less than pleased with Darren about it.

“Sometimes I really do wonder about your sanity,” Chris teased.

“Asshole, you love it.”

“Nah, I love you, there’s a difference.”  The smile that blossomed on Darren’s face was earnest and open, the twinkling in his eyes blazing like starlight, pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t that Darren wasn’t generous with his shows of affection; it was that Chris wasn’t.

Chris knew all the different ways that Darren looked at him, years of friendship had helped him commit each one to memory, but there was a difference in the way that Darren was looking at him now. Similar and yet not. Almost unreadable.

It was moments like these that had gotten him in trouble, moments when he had read too much into the light in Darren’s eyes, read too much in a lingering touch or Darren’s desire to always have him close. Chris had learned his lesson - he had - but it didn’t stop his breath hitching. Not because of the fear of making another mistake but at the sudden air of possibility.

Slowly, slowly Darren’s blinked, eyes hazel and gold and light that caught at Chris’ chest, his heart singing a rapid, terrified beat. It was nothing. He told himself. Nothing. It was just Darren being Darren and Chris being an idiot.

“Darren?” he asked softly, curious. 

His eyes flicked downward from Chris’ eyes to his mouth and Chris couldn’t help the instinct to bite his bottom lip. The move seemed to snap Darren out of his daze.

“I – I,” Darren stammered, pushing himself up all of a sudden. “I forgot I told my mom I was going to have breakfast with her,” he said in a rush, raking his hand through his hair and looking anywhere but Chris.

He grabbed his phone from on top one of the pillows and Chris had to scramble to get up. He ignored the way his heart had fallen to the pit of his stomach, and reached out to Darren.

“Hey, what –“

“Thank you,” Darren said, cutting him off but still refusing to look at Chris. “I’m not as good with words as you even when I try to be poetic and shit it never comes out right – not always – so I’m just going to say thank you. Thank you for – I mean, last night was -,” he cut himself off with a small laugh, running his hand through his hair again. “Fuck, Chris, thank you for everything.” Darren said finally meeting Chris eyes.

Behind Darren’s earnest, hazel eyes was a brightness that seemed to be asking him for something that he didn’t quite understand. It was the same look that made Chris’ heart thrum in his chest in hope and in fear.

”I’ll see you at school?” Darren asked almost shyly.

Chris nodded, confused. He didn’t have time to stop him again before Darren was crawling out leaving him alone.

He flopped down on the pillows and tried to make sense of what had happened, his face turning red at the split second spark of ‘what if’ that had flared in his heart.

No. He took a deep breath and willed the feeling away. Squashed it until it was nothing; a distant memory tinged with a history of heartbreak and embarrassment. He wasn’t stupid. He had learned his lesson, he had. Whatever chemistry he and Darren had was nothing more than a natural reaction to years of friendship. That was all there was to it and nothing more.

Chris carefully and resolutely started picking up the pillows and cleaning up the mess they had made the night before, putting order in to their little fort.

In his heart he was doing the same thing, inspecting every nook and cranny and making sure that the walls he had built so long ago still held.

He loved Darren with everything he had, but he knew his heart wouldn’t be able to take another beating from his best friend. Chris really didn’t want to think about what would happen to their friendship if it did.

\-----------

Darren’s heart was pounding in his chest.

An epiphany - that’s what it fucking was. It was a goddamned birthday epiphany because the universe had a funny sense of humor when it came to birthday gifts.

Catching a glimpse of himself on the kitchen window, Darren was glad his mom wasn’t up yet. He looked like he was going to throw up and truth be told he wasn’t sure he wasn’t going to if the swirling in his chest didn’t stop soon.

Taking the stairs two steps at a time, he barged into his bedroom, careful not to slam the door and headed straight to his closet for a change of clothes, stopping completely once he got the doors open.

He had wanted to kiss Chris.

Darren’s breath caught at the memory. Remembered the innocuous way that Chris had declared his love for Darren in the same way that Darren had done a million times before. Chris loved him, of course he did and Darren loved Chris. They were best friends. They always have been. But somehow, Darren had found himself wanting more without realizing it.

Want what exactly? That was the question racing in Darren’s mind. He’d had his fair share of dates and girlfriends but all of them had come easy to Darren. Flirting was easy. Getting people to like him was natural. Realizing that you had feelings for your best friend was  _complicated_.

Especially when your best friend was Chris who was loyal and kind and loving and good in a way that he had never been able to explain to anyone, loved unconditionally and cared so much and who could make Darren’s stomach flip flop every time he made him smile.

He was his best friend and his soulmate and Darren had never doubted that Chris would always be in his life even when he was eighty and old and senile and screaming at kids to get off his lawn.

Chris. Fuck, Chris was everything and losing him was not an option.

Darren didn’t notice that he had been staring at his pile of shirts for a good five minutes until a quiet beep from the clock on his night stand signaled the hour. He pulled out a shirt and a pair of jeans, and glanced at the clock again before deciding he had time.

Fishing out his phone from his pocket, he dropped down on the floor with his back to the bed and scrolled quickly to his brother’s number his fingers flying on the keypad. If he remembered correctly, Chuck should be up by now preparing to go to class too.

 **From Darren:**  I'm an ass.

 **From Chuck:** I've been telling you that since you were five. Only got that now?

 **From Darren:**  I think I might have feelings for Chris.

 **From Chuck:** Been telling you that since you were five too.

 **From Darren:**  Chuck

 **From Chuck:** What brought on your teenage crisis, little bro?

 **From Darren:** There was a moment.

 **From Chuck:**  Sap. So what’s the problem?

 **From Darren:** It’s Chris.

 **From Chuck:** You’ve got a point there. Dude’s too smart to date you.

 **From Darren:** He's actually not-dating a guy named Alex.

 **From Chuck:** How do you not-date someone?

 **From Darren:**  I don't know. They go out, they talk but they're not dating according to Chris.

 **From Chuck:** And the chances that you're just having best friend jealousy issues are?

 **From Darren:**  I don’t know.

 **From Chuck:**  Darren

 **From Darren:**  Fine. 80/20

 **From Chuck:** And we know this because?

 **From Darren:**  I'm fucking possessive of the people I love?

 **From Chuck:** Would you look at that, our little  _bunso's_  all grown up.

 **From Darren:**  I've been dating since I was 12.

 **From Chuck:** And how long since you've cared more about reality than the romantic shit that you make up in your head?

 **From Darren:**  Asshole. I’m not that bad.

 **From Chuck:** The last two girls you dated were awful. We were just too fucking polite to tell you.

 **From Darren:**  Not. Helping.

 **From Chuck:** Fine. Normally I’d tell you to ask him out, but this is Chris and while I’m pretty sure he’d forgive you for anything, I’m not going to risk you breaking his heart.

 **From Darren:**  Thanks, man. Really, you’re an inspiration.

 **From Chuck:** What I’m saying is figure out your shit first before you drag him into this. And then when you’re sure, go tell him. You guys are bonded for life or some shit. The worst thing that’ll happen is you’ll stay friends, the best case scenario is you finally find a good person who’s dumb enough to date you.

 **From Darren:**  You shouldn’t be making sense this early in the morning.

 **From Chuck:**  You’re welcome, you ungrateful little brat. Tell mom her favorite son says hi. And Happy Birthday!

\-----------

Scrolling through his phone in class later that day, Chris smiled at the texts Alex had sent the night before and he had ignored in favor of watching the movie with Darren uninterrupted. Alex had known about his plans with Darren, but it hadn’t stopped him from blowing up his phone with messages. Alex wasn’t the kind to take no for an answer.

He laughed quietly, remembering the time when Alex had shown up at rehearsals only to be shooed away by Cathy. He was allowed to hang around when they were painting sets or making props but Cathy had a strict no visitors policy for rehearsals. Alex had pouted and wheedled, but as Chris and Tony had predicted, she hadn’t budged an inch.

Chris had to admit that Alex did have a tendency to come on too strong, but that was exactly what Chris liked about him. Alex was unapologetic about what he wanted and while others might find that particular trait obnoxious, Chris found it admirable.

It was frightening to realize just how much he liked Alex. The careful distance he placed between them was slowly closing and while it wasn’t the rushing, heady feeling of being in love that he expected, Alex made Chris feel comfortable in his own skin. He had wormed past the walls that Chris had built for himself, and when he couldn’t, he found a way for Chris to let him in.

The way he felt towards Alex wasn’t what Chris expected for his first possible romance, but then again, he had stopped expecting anything at all.

Shaking off the melancholy thought, he pulled up his texting app and shot a quick message to Alex about nothing in particular before pocketing it and turning his attention back to the teacher.

Less than a minute later, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket and a warm happy feeling flooded Chris washing away the loneliness.

\-----------

"Guys, quiet down for a second, will you?” Cathy’s voice broke into the chatter and one by one the group ended their conversations and shifted their attention to her.

It was Friday afternoon and there were thirty or more of them gathered at the field next to the bleachers. It was a testament to how much they all liked Cathy that everyone almost immediately shut up to listen.

"I’m sorry we had to do this here, but the cafeteria’s too loud and we’re not allowed to eat in the rehearsal room,” she said, throwing them an apologetic look before glancing back down on her clipboard. “So we're going to have a little change in schedule. Take out your calendars cause I’m pretty sure you’re all going to forget this the moment the meeting ends.”

Darren balanced the tray on his lap and tried his best not to get the contents of his sandwich on his pants while he twisted to get his backpack. Next to him, Chris searched through his own backpack for his calendar.

As much as Darren still felt shaken and unnerved from his realization, he forced himself to sit with Chris and act completely normal. They had already gone through weeks of awkwardness and he wasn’t going to go through that again, not if he could help it.

“How long do you think before Nick explodes? I’m pretty sure if he was a kettle he’d be whistling right about now,” Chris commented, his voice low. He had his calendar out but he was still rifling around in his bag. Darren noted sheepishly how much more wrinkled his was than Chris’.

“He should give Cathy a break,” he whispered back. “We had to cancel rehearsals ‘cause she forgot about the pep rally. It’s not exactly the end of the world.”

The topic of their conversation was standing a few feet away, his arms crossed and staring daggers at anyone who dared cross his eye line.

Dude should take a fucking chill pill. Shaking his head, Darren chose to ignore him and focused on keeping himself from nervously tapping his fingers against his thigh.

It had been two days since his birthday and he had spent the entire time examining his feelings over and over again trying to find a line between his feelings for Chris as a best friend and as something more.

He hadn’t told anyone except for Chuck about his epiphany. Instead he kept it tucked safely inside his chest, safe from prying eyes and good intentions. He needed to take his time with this, listen carefully, quietly to the shifting winds blowing in his heart. He needed to stop himself from jumping head first into a situation he wasn’t prepared to handle, not when the risk was too great.

“Do you have a pen?” Chris asked him, giving up on his search with a huff. “I must have left mine in my locker.”

“You of all people aren’t prepared for a meeting?” Darren asked, his tone light despite the thoughts bouncing around in his head. He fished into his bag for an extra pen and handed it to Chris. “What would our camp director say about that, Mr. Best Camper?”

“You’re just still sore that I got all my camp badges before you did,” Chris said, grinning at him cheekily.

Darren rolled his eyes at him which Chris returned with a teasing bump of his shoulder making Darren’s entire arm tingle.

He gripped his pen tight with his hand and carefully made notes as Cathy gave them the important dates for the next couple of weeks. Photo shoots, ticket selling, publicity shows.

Darren wrote them down one by one but he was still painfully aware that Chris had moved a little closer to him, his arm brushing against Darren’s as he wrote.

Having him near didn’t help Darren’s resolve to think over his new found feelings before doing anything rash. It didn’t help that sitting next to him made Darren feel like his skin was too small for his body. Or that just the thought of Chris made his stomach seize up in both fear and elation. It certainly didn’t help that Darren wanted to lean over and kiss him every time Chris smiled or laughed and made Darren’s heart skip in his chest. Definitely not.

“Okay,” Cathy said ticking off the last thing on her list. “So for this week the original schedule had us doing run-throughs starting today but since that’s not possible we need to make up for it tomorrow.”

A couple of heads, including Darren’s shot up at that.

“I know, it sucks ‘cause we’re not supposed to start weekend rehearsals until next Saturday. I’m really sorry but the show is in a month and we can’t afford to miss rehearsals. If we meet at ten and everyone agrees to a late lunch we can end by one.”

There were a few grumbling protests and a couple of people negotiating call times, but in the end everyone agreed to more or less keep the scheduled time. Cathy wrapped up the meeting and Chris quickly kept his notes and stood up, brushing off the blades of grass that stuck to his pants.

“I’m getting something to drink. You want anything?” he asked, straightening his sunglasses.

Darren shook his head, not missing the way that Chris wrinkled his nose cutely as he brushed away the leaf that had fallen on his head. “I’m good,” he said, his voice coming out softer than he intended.

Thankfully, Chris didn’t think oddly of his behavior, walking with one of the girls from the tech crew towards the cafeteria. He needed to hurry up processing his feelings if he didn’t want to come off as a complete idiot every time Chris was around.

Although he had told Chuck it was possible he was scared of losing Chris to a boyfriend, he knew now that wasn’t true. It wasn’t that he was scared of losing Chris to someone (because fuck that Darren was never going to let that happen), it was that he _wanted_  Chris.

He wanted Chris and Darren could say that with conviction. He didn’t know the depth of it nor did he have a fucking clue what to do about it but he knew with quietly simplicity that what he was feeling for Chris was real.

In fact, he had spent hours rolling the idea in his head over and over again until he finally realized that his feelings hadn’t shown up out of the blue, they had been there from the beginning.

Darren glowered when a group of cheerleaders hanging out on the bleachers broke into peals of laughter as Chris walked past them and into the school building. It didn’t ease his frustration that her ex’s friends were being fuckwads but he could understand now why Belinda had done what she did.

She had been jealous of a lot of things. Girls that Darren was friends with, time he had spent with his extracurriculars instead of hanging out with her, but it was Chris she had been jealous of the most. Darren had downplayed her jealousy then, but maybe she had been far more perceptive than Darren had given her credit for.

“You know what the worst part is,” Belinda’s voice echoed in his head, watery and calm, showing a maturity she rarely displayed in front of their classmates. “I’ll lose you and that’s fine, but the least you could do is make it mean something. I could console myself with the idea I helped you find your happily ever after.”

Anger and frustration had overpowered any left-over fondness he had for her when the cheerleaders started spreading rumors and targeting Chris. It had helped him forget the sweeping hot and cold feeling her words had caused.

If he ever saw Belinda again, he’d bet she would find some vindictive satisfaction in knowing his predicament because he had finally admitted he had feelings for Chris and it might actually be too late.

His chest tightened at the idea. He would force himself to by happy for his best friend if Alex was really who he wanted but a small selfish part of Darren wanted to be the person to hold Chris’ hand and make him laugh and bring him cheesy shit and talk him down when he was scared. He wanted to do all the things they normally did but make it mean so much more because, fuck, Darren liked Chris in that way and he wasn’t going to deny it anymore.

The thought was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

Darren didn’t notice that he was still watching the path that Chris had taken until Cathy gave a fake cough, looking down at him with a secret, knowing smile on her face.

“I’m sorry about the Saturday rehearsals,” she said sitting down next to him. “I’m sure you were planning to prepare for your party.”

He had been planning to get some last minute things done Saturday morning but Darren was the last person to give Cathy a hard time about it. Up close he could see the dark circles under her eyes and how she held her body tight like she was expecting a fight any second.

Darren put an arm on her shoulder and shrugged, giving her a warm smile. “Nah, it’s cool. My brother’s home for the weekend so I’ll have back up.”

“Thanks,” she replied simply but Darren could feel her relax a little. He pulled her into a sudden hug which made her shriek in surprise before hugging him back with a laugh.

“You’re a good kid, Criss,” Cathy said when they pulled apart.

He was happy to see that although she still looked tired as fuck, she was at least a little bit less tightly strung. “You’re doing a great job,” he said. “I don’t think we say that to you often enough.”

“You’re doing great too,”

“Liar,” Darren called her out, leaning sideways into her and scrunching his face. “Alicia already gave me the smack down and Ed’s to fucking nice to actually tell me I suck.”

“You have the songs memorized at least,” she offered generously. “It would help if you could get your heart sorted out but it looks like you don’t need any help with that.”

Darren raised his eyebrow at the mischievous smile she gave him. Shit, if he didn’t know that Cathy was excellent at reading people he’d be scared he was being too obvious.

“For the record I’m on your team,” she said with a wink, making Darren laugh.

“You’re a peach, you know that?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her and laying his head on her shoulder.

She patted his arm, relaxing into the hug for a second before immediately tensing when she noticed that Nick was now glaring in their direction. “Thanks, Darren. I’ll see you later. Nick, Tony and I still need to meet about tech rehearsals.”

She stood up and gave a wave at someone over Darren’s shoulder before walking away. He looked up to see Chris jogging back to their spot, a bottle of juice in hand.

Chris dropped down next to Darren, cracking open the bottle and taking a sip only to immediately make a face as if the bottle had offended him.

“I don’t see why this shit is any better than Diet Coke,” he said, screwing the cap back on and propping it against his bag.

““You’re just upset you didn’t get your fix,” Darren said. He leaned over and grabbed the bottle, taking a swig of the contents.

It looked like Chris was going to ask him why he didn’t ask for his own drink, but he just shook his head and grabbed Darren’s sandwich instead, taking a retaliatory bite.

Darren grinned as they switched, handing over the bottle and taking his sandwich back from Chris. For a second he forgot about everything else that was whirring in his head. He had missed being goofballs with Chris, missed the quiet, easy back and forth that existed between them.

He glanced over at Chris and noticed that he was frowning over at the table where Cathy, Nick and Tony seemed to be in a heated argument.

“Do you know what’s going on with Cathy? She seems really unhappy,” Darren asked concerned. They weren’t close like she and Chris were, but he considered her his friend nonetheless.

“I might have an idea,” Chris said, an equally concerned look on his face. “I’ll see what’s up later. We’re staying after the pep rally to work on the props. Nick’s on edge about it because we’ve only got the ones for the first act done.”

“You know I’d help out –“

"Yeah,” Chris cut him off, patting him on the leg. “I know Chuck’s driving down this afternoon. It’ll be nice to see him again.”

“That’s because he’s nice to you. You’d think  _you_  were his little brother.”

“You think maybe it’s because you’re annoying and I’m lovable?” Chris asked batting his eyelashes at him.

And with that the swooping, flying sensation in Darren’s stomach was back full force. Darren exhaled slowly, ducking his head and giving a light chuckle. “You sure are,” he said, unable to be anything but honest at that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It doesn't really matter in terms of understanding the story but here's the translation for the Filipino words I used:
> 
> Bunso - youngest son, daughter, cousin, etc. Chuck uses it here as a term of endearment like "baby brother".
> 
> Supportahan Taka - roughly means I'll support you or you have our support.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, I just checked the timestamp on the last chapter and it said three months ago. I am so, so sorry for that. I will try to get the next part written faster. I’m already finished with the first scene so that’s a good sign right?
> 
> This part is unbetaed since I was too excited to wait. XD

Chris cringed at the loud sound of the bullhorn, the gym erupting into cheers as the school jocks decked out in full gear ran into the court. The cheerleaders followed suit, waving bright pompoms in the air big smiles plastered on their faces.

In the seat next to him, Darren was whooping in delight. Chris admired the enthusiasm Darren displayed for everything, including school loyalty, but the school logo he had allowed a cheerleader to paint on his face was a little too much. It wasn’t even game night yet.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and slipped it out, grateful for the distraction. It was much more fun going to these things with Ashley. At least he could trade snarky commentary with her. He expected to receive a text with exactly that but was surprised to see Tony’s name instead.

 **From Tony** : Um, dude. 911.

 **From Chris:** Did one of the set pieces fall off again? I’m at the gym but I think I can sneak out.

 **From Tony:** Not that kind of emergency. Crying girl. I have no idea what to do.

 **From Chris:** And you think I do???

 **From Tony:** Please. I have four brothers and a sister who can beat any of my brothers in emotional arm-wrestling. I’m begging you. It’s Cathy and I really don’t think I’m helping. Nick reamed her out for the scheduling mistake.

 **From Chris:** Shit. Where are you?

 **From Tony:** Standing outside the door.

 **From Chris:** …

 **From Tony:** You meant like where in the school. Right. Costume room. The small one inside the dressing rooms behind the stage.

 **From Chris:** I’ll be there as soon as I can. We’ll need reinforcements for this.

\-----------

Ten minutes later Chris was sitting on the dressing tables while Ashley sat inside the costume room with Cathy, their soft murmurs barely audible from the other side of the door. He leaned against the mirrors, careful not put his full weight on it and watched Tony who had straddled a chair and was playing with his phone. 

“Why don’t you just ask her out?” Chris asked out of the blue, causing Tony to look at him with a bewildered look on his face.

“Yeah,” Tony said, “Because it’s _that_ easy.”

“Well, how’re you ever going to find out if she likes you or not?” Chris asked pushing his foot gently against Tony’s chair to make his point.

He didn’t budge, pushing back Chris’ foot with his hand. “She likes Nick.”

“I don’t think Nick even notices that Cathy’s a girl,” he pointed out, scowling at the reason Cathy was crying inside the costumer room in the first place. Chris understood dedication and professionalism, but Nick was taking his position as production manager too far. He had every right to reprimand Cathy for her mistakes but Chris didn’t think it was fair for him to yell at her for it.

Chris shook his head in disapproval. “I don’t think Nick even notices that Cathy’s a _human being_. He acts like she’s a machine and doesn’t notice her at all aside from yelling at her and making me want to throw King Triton’s trident at him.”

“They have history,” Tony replied simply his eyes still on his phone.

That piqued Chris’ curiosity. He knew some of the theater kids had dated within their circle at one point or another but he hadn’t known about Cathy and Nick. He jumped down from the table and grabbed the chair next to Tony, straddling it as well. “What? Do tell.”

The other boy laughed and stuck his tongue out at him. “Gossip.”

Chris pouted. “You’re the one who brought it up.”

“Because you were bugging me to ask her out.”

“Fine,” he said letting it go for another time. He could ask Cathy about it anyway and he’d probably get more details from her. “History means it’s in the past right? So ask her out now. You’ll never know if you don’t try. This could be the start of something new,” Chris sang, waggling his eyebrows.

Rolling his eyes, Tony pocketed his phone apparently resigned to the fact that Chris wasn’t going to leave him alone about this. “I’m not even going to ask who forced you to sit through that.”

“It isn’t too bad after the third or fourth watch.” He replied with a shrug. “Seriously, you guys hang out all the time anyway and anyone with eyes can see that you like her. Grab the bull by the horn! Take the leap and all that self-help crap.”

“Says the guy who has a hot dude tailing him everywhere and won’t move past ‘we’re just friends’.”

“Am I reading the signals wrong here?” he teased. “I thought you had a crush on Cathy, not Alex.” Chris didn’t usually make jokes like that unless it was Darren, but he had gotten to know Tony enough to know he wouldn’t be offended.

True to form, Tony gave him a sassy look and said, “Whatever man, Alex looks like one of those guys in Gap catalogues. If I swung that way and I was, you know, mean and not a very good friend I’d totally steal him from you.”

Chris snorted, chewing his bottom lip before making himself say nonchalantly, “I’m not even sure if likes me.” The idea that he was making up Alex’s affection for him in his head made a small part of his heart stutter in his chest. He wasn’t expecting more from their friendship, he _wasn’t_ but there was still a part of him that hoped for it.

“Dude’s been shadowing you since you met,” Tony said incredulously. “He’s been painting sets and building things. He spilled paint all over his pants the other day and those things look like they cost a lot of dough.”

“That doesn’t mean anything other than he’s nice,” Chris said, his natural tendency to be skeptical showing.

“It means he’s into you and you’re too much of a coward to face it.”

Chris bristled at that. “I’m not a coward.”

“Ask him to Darren’s party then,” Tony challenged.

“What?”

“Ask him to Darren’s party. Ask him to the party and I’ll ask Cathy. We can make it a group thing so it won’t be completely awkward.” He raised his eyebrows at Chris daring him to say yes.

Chris scuffed his show against the leg of the chair considering it. He’d hung out with Alex before, with and without other friends, but this felt different. It felt like a step towards another direction. He liked Alex, he did, and aside from his own insecurities, there wasn’t really anything stopping him from asking him out.

“That’s not really fair,” he told Tony, his eyes on the still closed door. “You know Cathy’s going.”

A small smile played on his lips when they heard Cathy laugh from the other side of the door. Tony sighed, his smile turning sad and a little pissed. “Yeah, but she could be going with Nick.”

“She’s not,” Chris assured him.

“You don’t know that,” Tony replied lost and frustrated. For the first time Chris realized just how much his friend liked Cathy and how much it must hurt him to see her pining for a boy who didn’t treat her right.

“I do,” he said gently. The glum looked remained on Tony’s face and it strengthened his resolve to help out his friend. “Fine. Ask her to the party and we can all go together. Alex promised to help with putting together the sets tomorrow anyway.”

He was already expecting to spend most of the day with Alex and the party would just be an extension of that. And if he was honest with himself, he needed the push just as much as Tony needed the helping hand.

“You don’t have to if you want to invite Alex to Darren’s party,” Tony said kindly. “I don’t mean to be a jerk. I know they don’t really get along but I just thought it might be a good first step, you know? Even though a party isn’t really the best place for a first date of sorts.”

There was truth in Tony’s words. A party wasn’t the best place for a first date, but it wasn’t even a date really. They were going as a group. It wasn’t like he and Alex were going alone. As reluctant as he was to ask Alex out, a group invite was better than asking him out on a date right away, and Darren wasn’t going to mind, he’d probably be too busy with everyone else to notice them anyway.

“I’m sure it won’t be a problem,” Chris said with more conviction than he felt.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Deal then,” Tony said, directing a grateful smile at Chris.

Warmth at the knowledge that he had been able to help Tony overpowered the doubt that rankled him. Darren was going to be fine with it. He was.

Still he pulled his phone out from his pocket and sent a quick text asking Darren if the party was open to additional guests. He sagged in relief when Darren replied with the affirmative and a play by play of what they’d missed from the pep rally. Chris was actually glad to have missed it. His high school life would survive without him being sit through an hour of cheerleaders bouncing around and the student body being forced to exude school spirit.

Next came the hard part, he licked his lips and scrolled over to Alex’s number opening up the texting app and typing a quick message before he could chicken out. It wasn’t an actual invitation. Not yet. He wanted to do that in person. Chris had just finished hitting send when he realized that Tony was saying something about Darren and Alex.

“-I mean, I know how Darren feels about him and I’m pretty sure the feeling’s mutual but who knows forcing them to spend time together might be a good thing.”

“Wait,” Chris asked. “What do you mean you know how Darren feels about Alex? How does he feel about him?”

Before Tony could answer there was a click of a lock and Ashley opened the door with a flourish. “We ladies are going to play hooky and grab some ice cream,” she announced, pulling Tony’s attention from Chris and towards the small girl at Ashley’s side. Cathy looked a little worse for wear but there was a twinkling mirth in her eyes that made both Chris and Tony smile.

“Yeah, just let me stop at a bathroom. I probably look like ET,” Cathy said with a self-depreciating laugh.

“I like aliens,” Tony said, the tips of ears turning bright red when he realized what he had said. “I meant, um, your nose is a little red and so are your eyes but there’s nothing alien-like about you at all. Although there wouldn’t be anything wrong if there were. It’s just that there isn’t anything, um, alien-like about you. Um. But yeah, the bathroom’s open. Right there,” he finished lamely.

Cathy tilted her head at him, confused and amused at the same time. “I’ll be right back,” she said walking into the girl’s bathroom.

“I’m going with her,” Ashley said, walking slowly backwards. She pointed at Tony with a laugh. “Try not to choke on that foot in your mouth while we’re gone.”

Chris smacked him on the arm, unable to contain his own laughter. “Was that your idea of a compliment?”

“Shut up,” Tony grumbled, running his hand over his face. “I tried okay?”

“Let’s hope your party invite skills are better than that.”

“Whatever. You better bring it, Colfer.”

Chris grinned as a message came into his phone. It was a simple ‘what’s up?’ from Alex but for the first time Chris allowed himself to enjoy the thrill of possibility to ran through him. Pocketing his phone, he yelled into the bathroom. “Do you guys mind if Alex comes with us?”

\-----------

By the time Chuck arrived, Darren was already knee deep in an essay comparing two of the short stories they had been assigned for English. It wasn’t complicated which was why he had been putting it off until the last minute but that was before he realized the guide questions at the front of the handout continued to the back which mean it was going to take him twice as long to finish than he expected.

“Homework on a Friday night are you trying to kiss mom’s ass?“ Chuck asked by way of greeting. He stood by Darren’s door his jacket still on, clearly having just arrived.

With a smile a mile wide, Darren got off his chair to give him a hug. It had been too long. He still wasn’t completely used to not having his big brother around.

“Nice do,” Chuck commented, flicking at his hair. “But what happened to the fro?”

Darren batted his hand away and ran his through his shortened locks. That too still took some getting used to.

“It was an acting choice,” he mumbled, walking over to his laptop to save his work. He glanced up to see that Chuck had made himself comfortable on Darren’s bed.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Chuck asked seeing through his bullshit immediately.

He leaned against his desk and shrugged, crossing his arms in front of him. “I was having trouble with the part and I thought it might help.”

“Did it?”

“Would you even believe me if I said it did?” Darren laughed, self-consciously. He still found it embarrassing to admit his own insecurities especially when he realized that aside from making him look like the part, it wasn’t the magic feather he had hoped it would be.

“Hey, as long as your happy with your choices, _suportahan taka,_ ” Chuck said, mimicking their mom’s accent _._ “The question is, are you?

“It’s fine. It’s done. I thought it would stop the shit storm I’ve been getting but it hasn’t really helped,” he said, dropping his head and rubbing at his hair with one hand. He lifted his head to see Chuck still looking at him, expecting him to continue.

“I’m not having an existential crisis,” Darren joked feebly. He shrugged and took a seat on his desk chair, slouching low. “School work’s piling up but I’ve managed before. I’m just adjusting because of the play and my guidance counselor’s been on my back regarding majors.”

“Okay,” Chuck said with a nod. “Choose one yet?”

He sighed and toyed with his pencil, bouncing the rubber end against the arm of the chair. “I’m seventeen, do they really expect me to know what I want to do for the rest of my life? How’d you do it?”

It was Chuck’s turn to give him a shrug. “Music was an easy choice but wanted a plan B in case that didn’t work out so I choose advertising. I could make money out of writing and being creative and still make music on the side.”

Darren laughed, looking down at himself. “I think I’d look like shit in a suit.”

“That’s my thing. It doesn’t have to be yours,” Chuck said in that patient tone that Darren missed hearing. His brother was his best friend next to Chris’ and Darren forgot how well he could make him open up. “What do you want to do? You’ve been talking about acting since you went to your first Disney movie.”

“I do like acting,” Darren admitted. “But I also like my foreign language classes. I like music. I like a lot of things. I’m just not sure which one I want to spend the rest of my life doing.”

Chuck watched him thoughtfully. “Do it all? You can get minor in one of those or all of them. You can shift your major. It’s not really a life or death decision.”

“I know,” Darren replied, stretching his legs out and tapping the pencil against his leg, the tension vibrating through his body manifesting in the quick tap tap tap of the rubber on denim. “It would just be nice to be sure for once. Have some sort of assurance I’m not going to fuck up.”

“Sorry bro, I’m not going to lie to you college is amazing but the shit that life throw’s at you is going to be the same. Don’t be afraid to take a chance. You never used to before.”

 _I guess people change,_ Darren thought. Chuck was right though. He had always been willing to risk things for the things he wanted, had always been fearless in the way he lived, but even he had to admit he lived a fucking charmed life, especially when compared to Chris’. Seeing Chris go through what he did made Darren want to work harder to make sure he wasn’t taking anything for granted.

He rolled the pencil around his fingers, resisting the urge to draw on his pants. He had started the habit in middle school and his mom had been ecstatic when he stopped ruining his jeans with crazy designs that only made sense to him.

“Speaking of things that you’re scared to fuck up and probably will. What’s happening with Chris?”

The pencil went flying across the room in Chuck’s general direction without warning.

“Brat,” Chuck laughed, the pencil missing him by a good two feet. “I thought you guys had a ‘moment’.”

“Shut up,” Darren said, not quite able to contain the grin on his face. Trust Chuck to be an asshole about his love life. He didn’t know why he bothered talking to him. He’d be better off talking to his mom. At least she wouldn’t laugh at him. Much.

He threw a pen at Chuck’s head for good measure.

“You little shit,” Chuck said, dodging the pen. “I’m trying to be supportive of your new found love for dicks. Or is it just Chris’ dick you’re in love with?” Darren barely understood him he was laughing so hard, eyes sparkling mischievously but good-naturedly.

“Fucker. You’re no help at all,” he said, trying to control his own laughter as he threw everything he could reach at Chuck. He didn’t have any more pens to throw but his laundry hamper was nearby. He used that for ammunition until Chuck was covered with most of Darren’s dirty laundry.

“You’re disgusting you know that?” Chuck said, his eyes still full of mirth as he kicked off one of Darren’s boxers from where it had fallen on his leg. “Seriously, what’s up with Chris? Figure anything out yet?”

“I don’t know man,” Darren replied sobering a little. He put the hamper back on the floor and started picking up some of the laundry that Chuck was throwing back at him. “It’s Chris. I don’t want to mess things up with him. And it’s not like he’s interested in me or have considered we could be anything other than friends.”

Chuck snorted, ignoring a sock and picking up one of Darren’s shirts instead and throwing it at his head. “I think that’s the last thing you should worry about.”

Darren caught the shirt easy and balled it up, shooting it at the hamper like a basketball. “So what should I be worrying about then? Mom and Dad?”

“You know they wouldn’t care. They love Chris. And even if it wasn’t Chris they still wouldn’t care.” Chuck said, his eyes turning serious. “But since it is Chris, I told you just make sure you’re not having some sort of identity or best friend crisis and I’m sure it’ll work out.”

“I wouldn’t risk it if I thought for a second it was something else.” Darren said, he dropped the rest of his laundry in the basket and turned to Chuck. “I’m not really sure how this is supposed to work.”

“It’s called a date, Darren. You’ve done it before haven’t you?”

“I can’t just ask him out,” he said, his voice coming out higher pitched than he intended.

“God, what are you twelve? Ask him to your party.”

“He’s already going.”

“Ask him to go with you, you fucking lunatic,” Chuck said, making a face at him that told Darren what exactly he thought of his IQ. “It’s a party. You’ll be surrounded by people so whatever awkward tension you might have at the beginning will be buffered by your friends. Give it an hour or two and both of you will forget you’re on a date and relax. It’s a date. You’re not negotiating world peace.”

“Ask him out,” Darren repeated.

“Yup.”

“Simple as that?”

“Probably not,” Chuck admitted. “But if you do it right then it might be. Now c’mon.” He got off the bed and grabbed Darren by the bicep, pulling him out the door.

“I’m not done with my homework, you bully,” Darren said, although he wasn’t resisting, not even a little. “I’m telling mom.”

“Your school work isn’t going to suffer if you spend an hour out with your big brother. Let’s go be rebellious teenagers and ruin our dinner with some ice cream.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My deepest, deepest thanks to Jen (froggydarren) and Chlarine (hedwigsheartstrings) who were amazing in helping me finish this chapter.

“And the guy goes, don’t worry. They’re from Taiwan. Like somehow that made it okay he was trying to feed me deep-fried crickets.”

Chris laughed, finding the absolutely disgusted look on Alex’ face funnier than the story itself. The five of them had been sitting at Past Tense for a good couple of hours. Their plan to only get ice cream having turned into fries and then nachos until they finally decided they could spare a couple more hours and stay for dinner as well. The indulgence would eat into their productivity but it was worth it.

Alex caught Chris’ eye and motioned his head towards Cathy and Tony who were sharing the seat across from them. Cathy was now deeply engrossed in a story Ashley was telling about her own food adventures. He was happy to see Cathy’s face open and relaxed, seeming to forget the afternoon’s events completely.  She was leaning back slightly towards Tony who at first looked panicked at the proximity but was now happy to have her close.

“Are you done playing cupid yet?” Alex asked under his breath.

“I’ll stop when he does,” Chris whispered back.

Alex raised his eyebrows at him questioningly but all Chris gave him was a mysterious smile, hiding the fact that his stomach was twisting into knots. Not just because of what Tony had talked him into doing but also because a guilty queasiness had started to creep into his subconscious.

It was no big deal. He was just going to ask Alex to a party, it didn’t have to mean anything. It wasn’t any different from the other times they’ve hung out. It wasn’t. But Chris knew that he was just trying to rationalize the discomfort he was feeling. This time was different and different meant that whatever Tony was saying about Darren and Alex was important.

Ashley would argue that Darren had said he could bring guests but Chris was pretty sure Darren had been too distracted to realize it was Alex he was talking about.

As if on cue, Chris raised his head at the sound of the bells on the door jingling and was surprised to see Darren walk in with Chuck following suit. It was Chuck who saw him first, his face breaking out into the same sweet smile that Chris had missed.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Chuck said as Chris rushed over to them quickly giving him a hug. “Dude, you shot up like two inches since Christmas. Are you taking super growth pills or something?”

“He’s wants to make me feel even more like a hobbit than I already do,” Darren said, grinning at them both.

“That’s not really a difficult thing to achieve,” Chuck said to Chris, ignoring Darren’s mock offended face. “Are you here with someone?”

“Um, yeah,” he replied gesturing to their booth. “A couple of friends from school. Come on I’ll introduce you.”

Darren peered at the people in the booth and waved, but didn’t move which earned him a raised eyebrow from Chuck. He was determinedly not looking at Chris, his smile too wide to be natural. “I’ll go place our orders. We should take them to go. Mom probably wants us at home anyway.”

Chris smiled tight, conscious of the way Chuck was still watching the two of them like they were a puzzle he was trying to piece together. “Yeah, I’m sure she does.”

“You know how moms like to fawn over absentee sons,” Darren nodded, giving Chuck a long-suffering look before turning towards the counter. “Man, I can’t wait for you to leave and have all the attention to myself again.”

“Never stopped you before, you attention-whore,” Chuck shot at his retreating back. He made a face at Chris, hazel eyes that were so similar to Darren’s lit up with amusement and a little bit of mischief.

It made Chris narrow his own eyes in return. Chuck was much harder to read than Darren but he knew what that look meant. “What are you up to?” he asked cautiously, not quite sure if he wanted to know. There had been just as many times when they had gotten in trouble because of Chuck’s plans.

“What makes you think I’m up to anything? So tell me about the idiot adventures my brother has dragged you into.” His innocent smile didn’t fool Chris one bit but he allowed him to change the subject, the tightness in his chest easing as he exchanged stories with Chuck.

Chris didn’t notice that they were both too engrossed in catching up until Chuck motioned behind him.

“I think someone’s looking for you.”

He turned his head in time to catch Alex looking over his shoulder at him and Chuck. Alex gave him a small wave. It was obvious that he was looking for Chris. The thought ran through his body making him feel warm and giddy.

“C’mon I forgot I said I’d show you off,” he said, missing the curious way Chuck was looking at him.

He introduced them one by one, saving Alex for last. Chuck was like an older brother to him and while Chris had never sought out his approval, he was still an important part of Chris’ life.

“Alex isn’t from our school,” Chris said as he and Chuck shook hands. “But he’s been helping out with the play so much it’s almost like he’s part of the staff.”

“I admit he has been kinda useful,” Cathy teased.

“You can get a teenage boy to do anything with the right motivation,” Alex replied with a wink at Chris.

A telltale warmth spread up his neck and across his cheeks. Normally he enjoyed the blatant flirting but Chuck was right there and it felt too much like he was being flirted with in front of his big brother.

It didn’t help that Chuck had a polite smile fixed on his face, but looked like he was thinking of of a thousand ways to fillet Alex. A look that Chris was only able to interpret because he’d seen Chuck look the same way at Darren’s ex-girlfriends.

“This is Chuck,” Chris introduced, fighting down the blush. “Darren’s smarter, more talented and definitely more handsome older brother.”

Chuck grinned at him, nodding along good-naturedly. “Although I guess he’s got his charm working for him.”

“Can’t say I’ve been witness to that,” Alex said dryly, “but Chris here says great things.”

Tony and Ashley both coughed, obviously covering up laughter while Cathy tried to hide her smile by eating a french fry, earning them all a glare from Chris. Alex gave Chris an innocent look, catching his fingers in his hand and pulling him towards the booth to make him sit down.

“I’m sure,” Chuck said, his smile at Alex even more lukewarm than before. “I’d love to stick around but I can feel said little brother’s impatience from here.”

Chris looked over at the counter and saw that Darren was indeed fiddling with a napkin holder, a brown bag sitting on the counter next to him.

He frowned, a feeling of heavy unease settling in his stomach. “I’ll walk you guys out,” he offered to Chuck, intending to get a minute to talk to Darren.

“Do you want me to-” Alex asked moving to get up but Chris shook his head.

“I’ll be back in a minute.”

He wasn’t an idiot. He knew that Darren’s distance was because Alex was there with him and as much as he wanted to ask Alex out he wasn’t going to be the asshole that ruined his best friend’s party for him just because he wanted to hang out with a boy.

Chuck seemed to instinctively sense something was up. He quickly walked ahead, pretending to answer a text as they headed to the car leaving Chris alone with Darren.

An uncomfortable silence descended over them until Darren said, “So tomorrow- “

“Yeah, about that –“

“You’re bringing Alex, aren’t you?”

Chris stopped and looked Darren directly in the eye. His voice contained nothing other than complete honesty and genuine concern. “Not if you’re not okay with it.”

It was Darren who dropped his eyes first, staring at the floor. “Like a date.”

“No. Not yet anyway,” he said truthfully, “Tony, Cathy and Ashley are going with us.”

“But you want it to be,” Darren asked, his hands clenching around the paper bag he was holding almost protectively to his chest.

Chris paused before breathing out and saying, “Yes.”

“Then who am I to stand in your way?”

“I don’t know? My best friend,” Chris answered, exasperated. “That’s why it’s important to me that you’re okay with me inviting him to your party.”

Darren took a slow, deep breath, keeping quiet for a moment before finally looking up to meet Chris’ eyes. “Look, I know I can be a selfish jerk but I just want you to be happy and if he does that then I will support you 100%.”

He knew he should take Darren’s words at face value. He had no reason to lie, but nothing about the way he was acting spelled out the truth to Chris.

“Why don’t you like him?” Chris asked despite the assurance. The parking lot behind Past Tense was the last place for the conversation they were having but he couldn’t make himself let it go.

“It’s not that I don’t like him,” Darren insisted, causing Chris to scoff in disbelief. “I told you, I don’t know the guy enough not to like him.”

The frustration that coiled around Chris was quick and overwhelming. He was used to feeling stuck when it came to his life. When it came to their too small town and its equally small-minded population but he wasn’t used to feeling like he didn’t know what was running through Darren’s head.

He took a step back as if physically distancing himself from Darren would help the situation. “Nevermind. I haven’t even asked him yet so it doesn’t matter. It’s fine. I should go back.”

“It’s not that I don’t like him,” Darren said, taking Chris’ hand to stop him from leaving. He stared down at their joined hands, thumb sliding over Chris’ gently. “I just don’t like that he has you.”

Heart hammering against his ribcage painfully, Chris’ fingers itched to move. Itched to pull away and run back into the safety of the restaurant, away from Darren and the way his gaze was transfixed on Chris’, full of sincerity and love and everything that he had misinterpreted all those years.

He almost didn’t hear Darren’s words because of the pounding in his ears. “I don’t want to lose you, you’re my best friend and -”

Chris forced himself to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. Best friends. That was all there was to it. They were best friends. That was all.

“You’re my best friend too,” he said, cutting Darren off, “and whatever happens with Alex that’s not going to change.”

Darren opened his mouth as if he was going to say something else but stopped and nodded. A quick unreadable expression passed over his features as he looked at their linked hands making Chris’ chest ache with the sadness contained there. It was gone in a flash, replaced by a smile that didn’t quite reach Darren’s eyes.

“Even if you find out he’s an heir to some old stuffy throne?”

He wanted to ask about the look. He wanted to take Darren by the hand and force him to tell him everything he was hiding. He might have the worst instincts when it came to everything else but Chris knew Darren inside and out and the feeling of being shut out was foreign to him.

But Chris, underneath all the bravado and the exaggerated air of independence, was a boy still too afraid of the unknown. It scared him enough to retreat into the defenses he’d long put up around his heart.

“For that I might have to rethink my promise,” he said, carefully navigating around the tension that still existed between them. “You and Alicia are getting pretty close aren’t you?”

“Asshole.”

Chris laughed, content for now to pretend that things would be back to normal between them soon. He just needed to make sure that Darren knew Alex would never come between their friendship. It made him sad to think about it but if it was a choice between the two of them he would always choose Darren. There was no question about it.

“Seriously, I don’t care if he could get me into Hogwarts. I’m not going unless you’re with me.”

Darren shrugged, face scrunching up in thought, his eyes crinkling into a smile that wasn’t quite carefree but was honest enough that Chris could believe they really were going to be okay.

“I don’t know man, even I might consider dating him for that.”

\----------

Silence greeted Darren when he finally got into the car.

Chuck had left them alone, hoping Darren would get his foot out of his ass and take the opportunity to ask him to the party. Especially after meeting the little shit that Chris seemed to be warming up to. He normally didn’t pass judgment on any of Darren and Chris’ friends but fuck if he wasn’t annoying.

“You wouldn’t mind if I finished this whole thing by myself do you?” Darren asked already opening the bag and taking out the plastic spoon.

He opened his mouth to ask what happened, but the glum look on Darren’s face made him stop. They could talk later. He’d let Darren drown his heartache with ice cream for now.

“Nah,” Chuck said sympathetically, turning the key in the ignition. “I think you earned it.”

As much as he wanted to gather his little brother into a hug Chris was still standing outside of the restaurant his arms wrapped around him as if he was contemplating the worlds mysteries.

Knowing the kid, he probably didn’t even realize that Darren was in love with him. Hell, he probably didn’t realize he was still in love with Darren too. Damn. He was fucking glad he wasn’t a teenager anymore. Teenage love sucked.

Chuck turned into the street and glanced over at the passenger seat. “You think mom would let us order pizza? We can eat in front of the TV, have a Disney movie marathon.”

“Fine,” Darren said through a spoonful of ice cream. He stuck the spoon into his ice cream savagely, digging out another huge bite. “Anything but Tangled.”

\----------

By the time Chris slid into their booth he had made a decision. Darren hadn’t asked, Darren would never ask but maybe it would be better if he didn’t invite Alex to the party. At least not until he and Darren were really able to talk.

Ashley narrowed her eyes at him, perceptive as always. He gave her a subtle shake of his head, aware that all eyes were on him. Pasting on a smile he asked, “So what were you guys talking about while I was gone?”

“Darren’s party tomorrow,” Tony said. He was sitting up straight and tearing a napkin into little pieces.

“We were talking about going together,” Cathy explained.

As a group,” Tony quickly clarified which was punctuated with an eyeroll from Ashley.

Chris would have found his nervousness amusing but it hit him that unless they wanted to be rude Alex was now solidly part of the group. So much for that plan.

“Yeah. But I’m actually not sure if I can go,” Cathy said her voice tinged with disappointment. “My sister needs my car since hers is in the shop so I don’t have a ride home and my mom might not be able to drive me.”

“That’s easily fixable,” Ashley declared, a gleam in her eye. Chris knew that look. It meant Ashley was sick of waiting around for her friends to get their butts in gear and was putting matters into her own hands. “Tony can pick you up and drive you home. Right, Tony?”

The deep shade of red that Tony turned into made Chris worry he was going to asphyxiate. “Um, yeah,” he stuttered. “Sure, fine, of course.”

Cathy blushed scarlet herself but at least seemed to be able to form a coherent sentence. “We should be done with most of the props by three, wrapped up by three-thirty and at home by four. Since the party doesn’t start until six, and let’s face it everyone’s going to be late anyway, can you pick me up at six-fifteen?” she asked tentatively, a shy look on her face.

Tony nodded, smiling fondly at Cathy’s incredibly specific scheduling. He turned to Chris, not quite being discreet with the way he was looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to keep his end of the bargain.

Chris fidgeted in his seat ignoring Tony. He wasn’t backing out of their deal. Not really. It wasn’t like it was Tony who asked Cathy out. Ashley had done it for him.

The mischief twinkling in Ashley’s eyes made Chris realize that she wasn’t done. He tried to kick her under the table but ended up kicking Tony instead who yelped in confusion.

Undeterred, Ashley announced. “I will be arriving fashionably late because unlike you theater nerds I actually have a life so Alex you can meet up with Chris before the party.”

Chris froze unsure what to do next. Alex sensed his hesitation and put a warm, reassuring hand on his knee which caused his heartbeat to speed up rather than calm him down.

“It’s no problem,” Alex said misreading his silence. “I could drive over to your house and we can walk over together.”

Like a date. The implication made Chris’ heart flutter but the part of it that was reserved for Darren, the part of his heart that will always belong to Darren stopped it from flying clear out of his chest.

He did want to go out with Alex. And it wasn’t because he was the only gay guy that had shown interest in Chris. He liked Alex. Alex was fun and generous and funny. He pushed too hard but it made Chris like him more not less.

Even with Alex’s eager eyes on him, he couldn’t stop thinking of Darren. Couldn’t stop himself from remembering the soft, sad look in his eyes.

But Chris had to remind himself that Darren was his best friend and only that. Going out with Alex wasn’t going to change their friendship. It didn’t make Darren any less important. If their friendship was everything Chris believed it to be then he had to trust in that.  

Nodding more to himself than to Alex, Chris smiled and said, “Yeah, but give me an hour to shower? I’m pretty sure Ms. Small but Terrible over here’s going to put us through our paces.”

“Just for that I’m going to make sure to tack on an Italian run to tomorrow’s schedule.” Cathy said sticking out her tongue at him and giggling when Chris threw his balled up napkin at her.

The conversation shifted to theater gossip and Chris joined in on the teasing when Tony started geeking out over the new lights board his uncle had let him borrow. It was only with a combination of determination and stubbornness allowed Chris to push away the niggling sensation of guilt that was eating at his gut.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After 11 fucking months halle-fucking-lujah

The morning sun bounced off the pavement in bright rivers of warmth as Darren drove into the school parking lot. He hated to be cooped in when it was such a beautiful day outside but they were a crucial point in the production schedule and it there was barely enough time to get everything done, let alone have a free day.

His backpack bouncing against his tailbone as he cut across the parking lot towards the school building. Darren wondered if he had time to run to the vending machine to grab snacks when he spied Cathy trying to open the school’s heavy doors while juggling a big black folder and two large shopping bags full of props.

The snacks could wait even if his stomach wasn’t too happy with his conscience. “Cathy, wait up!” he called as he jogged over, “Prince Charming here to save the damsel in distress.”

“My hero,” Cathy joked back. She yelped when one of the bags finally started to tip over, smiling gratefully at Darren when he saved it from hitting the hard concrete. “I should have taken Tony up on his offer to come out with me but we’ve been here since eight and he’s still not done setting up.”

Darren eyed the contents and saw a couple of trinkets, combs, and various colors, shapes and sizes of seashells. “You guys done with the props at least?”

“Not yet,” Cathy sighed as they entered the building and made their way to the rehearsal room. “But we’re getting there. We had to come back here after you saw us at Past Tense but it was worth it if it means ending early today.”

Darren nodded. The smile plastered on his face didn’t betray the fact that was still feeling the sting of his conversation with Chris. “I bet. You guys have been working a lot of nights.”

The exasperated look on Cathy’s face was one that Darren was becoming familiar with. “Ed changed his mind _again_ and wants the props to change colors with the lights during the transformation scene. Since they’re moving props it means a lot of electrical work. Tony’s taking care of it though,” Cathy said with a proud smile.

“I bet the lights aren’t the only thing Tony’s taking care of,” Darren teased with an exaggeratedly lewd wink.

Cathy poked her tongue out at him.  “Why are boys so much worse than girls when it comes to starting gossip?”

“Tony has been drooling over you since second grade. If you tell me you haven’t noticed then you’re a fucking liar.”

“I think if Tony or _anyone,”_ Cathy said eyeing him pointedly, “liked someone then that person should be the one to say something about it. I might be a little oblivious but at least I’m not an idiot.”

Darren rolled his eyes. She meant well but it wasn’t that easy. Not with Alex in the picture. He itched to ask about the real score between Alex and Chris but he and his best friend had never needed a liaison between them. That wasn’t how their friendship worked.

Besides, Chris had made it clear that even if nothing had happened between him and Alex so far he liked him enough to want something to happen.

“Are you all set for the party later?” Cathy asked, interpreting his silence as a sign that she should change the topic.

“Yeah,” he replied his stiff smile turning warm. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk about it to Cathy. He just didn’t want to talk about it period. “My brother’s at home taking care of things on that front. Mom and Dad are safely out of the house until tomorrow morning.”

“That’s cool of them to let you guys have the house to yourselves.”

“Only because they’re deluding themselves into thinking that Chuck’s a responsible adult.” If he had his hands free he’d be making air quotes. His brother was two years older than him. He loved having Chuck around but he didn’t need a fucking babysitter. “Mom covered her ass and left a list of house rules. Even made us sign it with blood.”

“Let me guess,” she said with a laugh, “No drinking, no doing drugs, no jumping from the roof to the pool?”

“Two out of three but only because we don’t have a pool,” Darren said as they entered the rehearsal room. “Can you imagine? I could do an epic cannonball.”

Cathy laughed and shot him a relieved look. “I’m kind of really glad you don’t have a pool.”

“Why are you glad Darren doesn’t have a pool?” Chris asked, catching the tail end of their conversation.

He was leaning against a desk wearing his usual ratty jeans, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt and his old beat up sneakers. It didn’t seem to matter that Darren had seen Chris in the same outfit a hundred times before, the way his heart quickened in his chest made him feel like he was seeing parts of Chris for the first time.

Chris didn’t seem to notice there was anything different with him except for the way he glanced uncertainly at Darren to make sure it was okay he was butting in. Darren wasn’t sure if he was grateful or frustrated that his best friend was oblivious that he was going through the most typical of high school love problems.

“Because she’s a big old party pooper,” Daren said, trying to keep his tone as casual as possible. He schooled his face into a smile that Chris seemed happy enough to believe. Inside his stomach was twisting into knots. “I’m thinking of uninviting her entirely.”

“What?” Tony asked not bothering to hide the distress in his voice. Darren hadn’t noticed him sitting on the chair next to Chris. He hadn’t noticed much of anything except Chris if he was being honest which was why he didn’t see Cathy’s heavy folder coming at his arm. Darren yelped unable to defend himself at the risk of damaging the props in the bags he was carrying.

“He’s kidding,” Chris laughed and patted Tony on the shoulder. “There’s no way I’m going to let Cathy miss Darren in all his karaoke-hogging glory.”

“Adding insult to injury,” Darren said, mock glaring at Cathy and then Chris. “I’m not a karaoke hog. I share the stage with you don’t I?”

“The one and only time you’ll get me to sing outside of a character,” Chris said with a shudder, “Your whining was enough to conquer any stage fright I had.”

“You sure know how to make a boy feel special, Colfer.”

Chris’ voice was dripping with sarcasm but his eyes shone with unmistakable affection, “Only for you.”

Right. The last thing Darren needed was his stomach doing somersaults off the high dive and making his breath expand in his chest at the innocent statement. He couldn’t help staring at the smattering of freckles across Chris’ nose and the way his eyes were a mix of a picnic perfect sky and dewy grass when he laughed.

Fucking shit, he was doomed.

“Didn’t Alex make you promise to sing a song with him?” Tony asked absent-mindedly, his focus completely on the wires he was cutting.

Darren gritted his teeth. He liked Tony, he really did, but it was the first time since meeting him that Darren had ever wanted smack the guy.

“I didn’t promise him anything,” Chris muttered, shoulders suddenly tense. He glared at Tony who was still too engrossed in his task to notice the death stare aimed at him. “But I would love to hear a song from you and Cathy.”

Tony spluttered, looking up with a confused and betrayed expression. Chris simply glared back at him until realization bled into Tony’s face. His eyes went from Chris to Darren, a grimace on his face that Darren assumed to be apologetic.

Cathy gave a self-depreciating laugh, trying to diffuse the tension. “For all our sakes I’m going finish setting up before I get roped into doing something all of us will regret. There is a reason I’m a stage manager and not an actor or singer.”

She turned to Darren. “Come on, Prince Charming. You still have a ways to go before you’ve completed your quest.”

Darren fell into step behind her, lugging the props to the opposite side of the room where a portion was marked off to double as the right wing of the stage. Small groups of people were scattered around, some of them chattering amongst themselves, others studying their scripts and getting ready for rehearsals.

The back of his neck prickled. He could feel Chris’ eyes still on him. He knew it wasn’t helping matters that they still treated Alex like the elephant in the room but he couldn’t help the way it felt like he was crawling out of his skin at the mention of his name.

He deposited the bags next to the props table and helped take out the items one by one while Cathy placed them on their designated places.

“Are you okay?” She looked over at him but continued with the task of carefully arranging the prop pieces. Darren was grateful because to anyone else it seemed like they were just hanging out before rehearsals started. As much as he accepted that gossip was a regular part of teenage life, it didn’t stop the feeling of claustrophobia that accompanied the knowledge that people were talking about him.

He considered feigning ignorance but his trust in her as his stage manager had developed beyond that. He trusted her as his friend too.

Darren handed her the last of the props before slumping against the table. “You ever feel like nothing in your life is going right?”

“Constantly,” Cathy said with a sympathetic smile. “That’s why I have deep respect for Murphy’s Law. Have faith. Things have a weird way of working out for the best.”

“Yeah?”

“What’s high school without a little heartache?” she asked, refusing to dance around the topic. “You’re a wonderful guy, Darren. You’re smart and talented and the whole school thinks the sun shines out of your butt. And so does Chris,” Cathy assured him. “You’ll survive. You both will and so will your friendship.”

He smiled at her warmly. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re annoyingly optimistic?”

“I’ve heard it once or twice,” Cathy said with a grin. “Now leave me to my props. At least these guys are free of any teenage angst.”

“You damsels are so fucking ungrateful,” Darren muttered with a grin of his own.

Cathy waved him off and he found himself in another corner of the room away from where Chris and Tony were still sitting together. The script he pulled out of his backpack made it seem like he was isolating himself to memorize his lines but Darren’s head was too full to focus on the words on the page.

The bitter resignation he felt crawled up from his stomach and settled in his throat. He hadn’t lied, he had no problem with him being at the party if that was what Chris wanted but he’d really rather not have it rubbed in his face. Unfortunately, there was nothing he could do about it short of being a selfish jackass and refusing Alex admittance to the party. He could be selfish but not in that way. Not to Chris.

Darren rubbed his hands over his face and through his hair, resting his elbows on his knees. He had fucked up royally once but he wasn’t going to do it again. He had learned his lesson. He wasn’t going to risk pushing Chris away by being an asshole.

He just needed to find a way to ignore the way his chest ached every time he even looked at Chris. And then maybe things wouldn’t be so hard.

\----------  
  
 **Alex:** So, what time am I allowed into your sacred rehearsal space again?

 **Chris:** We should be done a little after lunch. I’m sorry Cathy wouldn’t let you sit in.

 **Alex:** Hey, that just means I get to be surprised completely come opening night.

 **Chris:** With the way the run through is going you’re going to be surprised all right.

 **Alex:** That bad?

 **Chris:** It’s the first one so I’m still holding out hope.

 **Alex:** With star power like yours I’m sure you’re going to knock them dead.

 **Chris:** Yes, I’ll wow them all by swaying in the background and blending with the chorus. And let’s not forget my very important role as Mersibling #2.

 **Alex:** Hey, that still makes you royalty. Do you think the Prince Charming of the Sea would consider running off with the guy who helped paint the castle?

 **Chris:** That actually sounds like a good idea for a story.  

 **Alex:** Is that a yes? ;)

 **Chris:** Attending a ball together might be a more comfortable step for this Prince.

 **Alex:** I don’t know. I think the painter guy can be pretty convincing.

 **Chris:** First stalking, now kidnapping. If I had more sense I’d be worried.

 **Alex:** It’s a good thing you don’t then. See you in a couple of hours!

\----------

It wasn’t like he was particularly vain but if a genie appeared in front of Chris right at that moment and asked him for three wishes, his first would probably be for better skin, and then for better hair and lastly for the genie to take all of his baby fat somewhere far, far away. Preferably put it in someone evil and selfish. Like a militant dictator or Darren’s ex, Belinda. Actually, he would be happy with just that last wish.

But there was no genie, just a dull, depressing, chubby mess of a boy currently residing in his mirror. Chris wasn’t expecting a magical transformation to happen in the less than half an hour he spent in the bathroom but he would have preferred not to look worse than when he had entered.

He combed his fingers through his hair trying to create some volume but the rebellious strands refused to do anything but lie limply against his scalp. There was a small tub of hair wax lying on his bed, a last minute purchase care of his mother, but he had no idea how to use it. Chris picked up the tub and glared at it as if it was the reason puberty was so unkind to him. There was probably a tutorial on YouTube and he was just desperate enough to open up the app on his phone and start searching.

“You know a little of that goes a long way.”

The sound of Alex’s voice startled Chris into dropping the product onto the carpet. It rolled towards Alex’s perfectly clean pair of high top Chuck Taylor Converse sneakers. He was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt same as Chris but he looked put together and gorgeous while Chris resembled a wet dishrag.

“Your mom said I could come up as long as we kept the door open,” Alex said, making Chris blush at the assumption there was any reason for them to want privacy, “She made it clear that it was just this once since she didn’t think you coming down any time soon.”

“I’m ready to go,” Chris said, willing the heat to fade from his cheeks. “I was just trying to do something new with my hair.”

“May I?” Alex asked stepping into the room and motioning to the tub that was still on the floor.

“Suit yourself,” Chris huffed air out of his nose, glaring once more at the tub now in Alex’s hands. “I’m warning you though that it’s completely hopeless.”

Alex shrugged and pushed Chris gently towards the bed. He sat down with a defeated thunk and let Alex eye his head carefully before putting some of the gunk on his hands.

“I learned a lot about hairstyling while waiting for my mom whenever her client had interviews,” Alex explained, stepping in between Chris’ legs. “Now don’t move or else I’m going to mess this up and we don’t have time for you to wash your hair again. I promised Tony we wouldn’t leave him alone with Cathy for too long. He’s still afraid he’ll make a fool of himself.”

“It’s too little, too late for that,” Chris mumbled, suddenly incredibly aware of how close Alex was. It was the closest Chris has ever been to a boy who wasn’t Darren and he prayed that Alex couldn’t hear how loud his heart was beating in his chest.

The whisper of Alex’s fingers against his scalp made goosebumps erupt across Chris’ skin. In fear of other parts of him reacting, Chris discreetly tucked his hand underneath his leg and dug his fingernails into his jeans. He was a teenage boy and a really cute guy was practically massaging his scalp, no court of law would convict him if certain things popped up. Regardless, he would still prefer to preserve his dignity.

He gasped when Alex’s fingertips, cold from the wax, brushed his nape.

“Sorry,” Alex mumbled, “I’m almost done.” He tucked in a last strand of Chris hair before taking a step back and scrutinizing his work.

“I told you it’s unsalvageable,” Chris said when he couldn’t read Alex’s expression.

“Shut up and come here.”

Alex led him to the mirror and Chris felt every inch like a make-over reality show cliché when he saw his reflection. His usually flattened hair was brushed away from his face and swooped up in front making the blue of his eyes more visible and his cheekbones and jaw more pronounced. He was a far cry from being a Marlboro Man but he didn’t look like he was twelve years old anymore.

“Being a precocious little boy paid off,” Alex said proudly.

Chris turned around to face Alex, a grin on his face. “Thank you. Now if I could learn to do this every day.”

“You should. You look really hot,” Alex said, moving a step closer to Chris.

Heat climbed up his cheeks full force and the room was suddenly fifteen degrees warmer. Chris tongue instinctively darted out to wet his lips. Alex seemed to take that as invitation to lean in and before Chris could react, Alex lips were moving against his.

Chris breathed in the scent of mint and a hit of aftershave. He could still feel his pulse beating in his ears but there something was wrong. It wasn’t that Chris didn’t want to be kissed. Alex’s lips were soft and warm and felt really nice but it was his first real kiss and Chris wondered if it was foolish to think it would include more fireworks.

He felt Alex breath a soft chuckle against his mouth before pulling away. He tipped his head downward and looked at Chris through his eyelashes. “Too fast?” he asked softly.

Chris shook his head and cleared his throat. He was being an idiot. If he was a little disappointed that his expectations of a first kiss weren’t met, then he would just have to deal with it. He of all people knew that life was nothing like the books he loved. “No, you just caught me by surprise,” Shyness almost overcame Chris but he forced himself to say the next words, “Can we try that again?”

Alex smiled and pulled Chris close once more, their lips meeting in another kiss. This time Chris could feel his heart beat into a crescendo as Alex kissed him deeper, one hand resting on Chris hip and another one resting on his shoulder before moving to the back of his neck. It would have been perfect except for the fact that his hand still had a light coat of hair wax.

Chris pulled away and made a face. Alex seemed to have realized what happened at the same time since he looked amused rather than offended.

“I should wash this off first,” he said with a sheepish smile. “And then we can head over to the party or we can stay here for a while?”

Staying meant Alex was asking if he wanted to make out some more. A boy was asking if Chris wanted to ditch a party to make out. Alex was asking him to ditch Darren’s party. The thought of Darren gave him pause. Of course he wasn’t going to ditch Darren but arriving a little wouldn’t hurt. Darren probably wouldn’t miss him.

The sound of both their phones receiving incoming messages saved Chris from answering.

“That’s probably Tony freaking out,” Alex said as Chris grabbed his phone and unlocked it. Alex predicted correctly seeing as Tony’s text was in all caps. “We should go. Do you mind if I use your bathroom?”

“You can use the one in the hall. Second door to the left,” Chris pointed. He waited until he was sure Alex found it before going in to his own messy bathroom.

Dodging the pile of clothes on the floor and heading to the sink to wash his hands, Chris examined his reflection on the mirror. He ran his wet hand against his nape to remove the sticky feeling, making sure not to mess up his hair as he did so. He eyed his hair critically and for once Chris didn’t hate what was looking back at him.

And it was all because of Alex.

Gratitude spread across his body, making the warmth from his earlier embarrassment settle into a blanket of comfort. Alex had been a constant presence in his life the past couple of months and Chris wasn’t used to having someone like that. Except for Darren but he didn’t count. He was Chris’ best friend. Darren would probably say it was in the bro code for him to always be in Chris’ life.  

A soft pang shot through his heart at the memory of him pining after Darren. Too much of his time had been spent hurt and confused, reading too much into a relationship that would always remain platonic. They were best friends and best friends were supposed to be there for each other. It was his fault he thought it was more than that.

But Alex didn’t have an obligation to him the way Darren did. Alex didn’t _have_ to waste his Saturdays helping out another school’s play just to spend time with Chris. He didn’t _have_ to keep showing up at Chris school wanting to hang out.  He didn’t _have_ to kiss Chris. Alex simply wanted to. Alex simply wanted _him_.

Chris bit his lip, remembering the kisses they shared. It was nice being wanted and Alex made him feel exactly that. He wasn’t stupid enough to call it love, but Chris had enough courage stored away to admit he wouldn’t mind falling in love with Alex.

\----------

“I swear, Darren, if mom and pop ever find out that I left you alone tonight I’m never going back to college because I’m going to get shipped to military school.”

“Hey, bro, don’t forget to remove the stick up your ass before you go on your date.” Darren caught the throw pillow right as it missed him and almost hit the row of photographs on the bookshelf. “I know the rules, no drugs, no alcohol, no exorcism rituals unless it’s been approved by holy doctrine.”

“Where would you get a priest that’s allowed to perform the rites? You can’t just get any priest you know,” Chuck disembodied voice floated from where he was hiding a couple of vases inside a cabinet.

 “You can take the nerd out of Sunday school, but you can’t take Sunday school out of the nerd.”

Darren stared at the photographs and wondered if he needed to hide them too. The bookshelf was tucked away in a corner but better safe than sorry. Especially when you had a house full of partying teenagers.

“I went to an actual Catholic school,” Chuck said walking over to Darren. “None of that Catholicism Lite bullshit you got at Sunday school.”

“You ever wonder what would have happened if mom had forced me to go to St. Ignatius with you?” he asked. Darren eyed the bookshelf, plotting the best way to grab all the frames in one go. He shrugged and decided hell with it, carefully sweeping all the picture frames into his arms.

“You would have snuck out and taken classes with Chris at the public school. I don’t care if you were only seven.” Chuck picked up his jacket from the back of the sofa. “I’m getting out of here before I convince myself you’re going to demolish the place in my absence and decide to stay in.”

“A little help before you go would be nice,” Darren said, tilting his head at the lone picture frame left on the lower shelf.

“I have faith in you, little bro,” Chuck said with a laugh as he walked out the front door.

“Asshole,” Darren muttered. He eyed the picture frame left on the shelf and slowly bent his knees until it was on eyelevel. There was no way he could use his hand to get it without letting the other picture frames fall so he prayed the thing wasn’t disgustingly dusty before grabbing it with his teeth.

He made his way upstairs and debated storing the picture frames in his parent’s bedroom but remembered they had locked it in case one of his hormone-riddled classmates decided to look for a place to make out. Yeah, these would be better on his bed. At least the mess would discourage anyone from using his bedroom for their dirty business.

Darren carefully let the pile of photographs fall onto the mattress and made a cartoonish robot sound when he let the one between his teeth drop on the bed. It didn’t seem to appreciate his humor because the frame bounced off the bed and onto the floor. Darren winced expecting the sound of breaking glass to come next. When it didn’t he pumped his fist triumphantly and flopped on the bed to grab the fallen frame.

His grin softened into a fond smile when he saw the picture it contained. It was one of Darren’s favorite shots of him and Chris, taken the summer before Chuck had gone to college. They were on the back porch basking in the afternoon sun. Chris was leaning back letting the light soak into his skin, the traces of a laugh still on his face. Darren was caught staring at Chris, his eyes wrinkled in laughter, a huge smile on his face. He couldn’t remember what they were laughing about but he remembered Chuck had taken the photo with his new camera, a going away present from his parents. He remembered that Chris had said something funny and sarcastic right before the shot was taken. And he remembered feeling like he could happily live the rest of his life with his best friend by his side.

Chris was always going to be in his life. That was never a question. The question was did he trust their friendship enough to get past whatever awkwardness could result from Darren admitting his feelings.

Wait. When the fuck did he decide he was going to tell Chris at all?

Darren mulled over the idea in his head. Could it really be as simple as just asking Chris out? He knew something was starting between Chris and Alex but nothing had officially begun so he wouldn’t be that big of a douchebag if he declared his intentions.

Shit. If Chuck ever heard his internal dialogue, he was going to laugh himself into an early grave.

It didn’t matter. Courage bubbled up inside of him, giving rise to steam that power his conviction.

He was going to tell Chris how he felt and he was going to do it tonight.

It was a gamble but Darren believed in their friendship. It was strong enough to get past anything. Even the possibility of Chris telling Darren he didn’t love him back.


End file.
